Another Lesson Learned

I received an email yesterday that irked me.  Perhaps I don’t have the full picture, but it seems to me to be that someone else erred and now a group of us have to pay for it – literally, cash.  That’s my perspective.

I wrote a response.  I did not mention that I thought it was a self-induced crisis.  I explained my moral reasons why I did not fully support the endeavor to begin with (a point on which I had previously been silent).  When I was finished, I said to Bill, “I don’t know if I should send this.”

“Does it feel good?” he asked.  “Usually if it feels good it means you shouldn’t send it.”

“I never send those,” I replied.  “I don’t usually even write those.  No, this doesn’t feel good at all.”  Gut feelings were not helping here.  Sometimes it’s the words we don’t want to say that we really should say.  Sometimes we just need to keep our opinions to ourselves.

I read the email to him.  “That doesn’t sound bad,” he said.

Maybe I should wait anyway.”

“Good idea,” he concluded.

So it’s been sitting in my draft folder.  And I’ve been waiting for the “reply all”s.  I rarely respond “reply all” – and usually only do it if it is requested (“Please reply all with the dish you plan to bring”).  But some people always seem to reply all.  I’ve been one of 372 people who received an email announcing the birth of a new baby…and had 86 strangers clutter my inbox with reply all: “Congratulations!!”  Why?  Why do you think you need to let all 371 other people know that you offered your welcoming words?  Nobody is keeping track.  Nobody cares.  Just hit “reply”, not “reply all”.  Is it that hard?

So far, no “reply all”s.  Although I’m certain few of us want to pay out of pocket to solve the situation, I don’t know how the others view the situation.  I’m sure that nobody else shares my moral dilemma, which stems from me not taking the moral high ground 6 months ago.  Gut feelings were working well back then, and I pushed them aside, and now I regret it.

{sigh}

Wake Up Call

Regarding the telephone, we go through phases in our lives, and I recognize my entry into a new one.

First, as a child, we have little to do with the phone.  Then we hit our adolescence or teens and early twenties, and it becomes a central part of our existence.  It is a connection with friends, fun, opportunity and adventure.  There is a complete disconnect between the hour of the day and the phone call itself – if you (or your friend) want to talk, you call.  You don’t mind, necessarily, a wake-up call at 2 am, especially since you might not have been asleep at 2 am.

Then, hopefully, you grow up a bit, and start to keep more regular hours.  Perhaps you get news of a family member’s illness or death at a bad hour, and you start to discern whom you can call and during what hours without causing alarm.  Calls at 2 am are not ever welcome, unless it is your husband calling from Shannon, Ireland, telling you he’s having his first beer in 6 months and he’ll be home to your arms within a day or two.

Now I am discovering a new phase, one in which I am the parent of teens who use the phone whenever they think of it, regardless of the time of day.

*******

The boys were able to go skiing/snowboarding this weekend.  I didn’t think we’d be able to afford it, but their fundraising through Scouts covered the cost.  Fritz had been sick with some sort of cold virus earlier in the week, and we were happy that he recovered sufficiently to go.  They left Saturday morning, very early, with enough time to check in at the hotel, change into ski clothes, get to the Saturday Vigil Mass, and then hit the slopes for night skiing.  “Call me tonight,” I told them.  I wanted to remind them to use the hotel dryer for the clothes that would get wet.  They had extras in case they forgot anyway.

They didn’t call, of course.

Sunday, 8:30 am, the phone rings.  That’s too early on a Sunday for the phone to ring.  Unless, of course, you have children of a certain age.  Especially boys who feel guilty for not calling their mother the night before.

And, actually, Fritz didn’t feel too guilty about that.  “Sorry, Mom, we were tired.  We went right to bed.”  I had figured as much.  Instead, he was calling to tell me that Billy was sick, having finally succumbed to the virus Fritz had had.  Billy was not going to be hitting the slopes, but would be staying in bed.  I told Fritz to leave the phone with him and tell him to call me if he needed to.  Poor kid, poor adult leaders.  I knew there was one couple who did not plan to ski, and would be available to deal with any injuries or kids who needed a break.  But sore muscles or a sprained ankle are less of a problem than a lethargic, feverish kid.

Later that day, Jenny went down, so I could compare how she was feeling with how Billy was likely feeling.  She spent several hours passed out on the couch and didn’t eat dinner.  She sipped water and watched a movie and went to bed with everyone else.  She looked and felt miserable.

Billy called again during dinner to report on his misery and to say that the adults were going to have someone look at him.  I thought he meant an urgent care center, but I think it was just another mom with medical training.  “Call me later and tell me how you’re doing,” I said.

He didn’t, of course.

*******

This morning, 5:30 am, the phone rings.

I was soundly asleep, which is rare for me at that hour.  But Bill is off for President’s Day, so his alarm and my internal clock were silent.  In an instant, however, that phone had me awake.  I nudged Bill.  “Get the phone!”  And he leaped from the bed.  Momentary panic was quelled by a reminder that I have boys of a certain age.  I was concerned, though, since Billy had been sick.  I couldn’t imagine that he had anything worse than a cold, but you never know.

It was Billy, as I suspected.  They were packing up for the return home.  In that early morning quiet, I could hear clearly from across the room as he asked his father, “Can I watch Star Wars Episode III in the car on the way home?”

“I’m going to kill him,” I groaned as Bill groggily tried to explain that asking permission to watch a PG-13 movie of a parent awakened from a deep sleep at an early hour of the morning was, to put it mildly, poor timing.

But at least he’s an obedient son.

My husband, ever the soldier, went back to bed, and is still there now.  I, on the other hand, have a grocery list to write, a dog to walk, laundry to start, etc etc etc.

I Should Have Hired a Babysitter

I realized, belatedly, that, perhaps, three Masses in five days might be a bit too much for a 4 year old, especially when two of those Masses were not quicky daily Masses, but were instead loooong special sacramental Masses.  Especially the one with 43 confirmandi and the bishop who questioned every single kid about his/her confirmation name or asked some other question about the faith (that was Fritz’s confirmation Mass). 

And the 6+ hour drive on Day 4 didn’t help either.  Nor did being in a different time zone – one in which it was much closer to bedtime than dinner time for little children.

Yes, that was my child screaming so loudly in the “baby” room that she nearly drowned out the bishop’s homily.

Fortunately, I didn’t really know it at the time, being in the second pew behind my niece as her sponsor-proxy.  I just kept thinking, “My goodness, that child is loud.”  Apparently, she really wanted to sit with me.

******

I think I have about 200 pictures on my camera to download.  Some go back to January, and the gingerbread houses that the kids built.  But they will have to wait, still.  This is a make-up week for school, and a clean-the-house day, and a get-the-grading-done-day, and a cook-for-an-event-day, and a pay-the-bills-day.  Not a download photos day.  Or a blogging day.

Did I mention we’re not moving next month?  Oh, no, that seems to be delayed to coincide with my due date.  I keep telling God, “I trust you!  Really!” And then He keeps testing me on that.

Miles Christi Sum

Crazy-busy week, this.  Fritz is being confirmed on Thursday, so some planning for guests and their care and feeding and coordinating with the church, etc to do.  It’s a low-key event, but still.

I try very hard not to read the comments at most “news” articles.  It’s one thing to get involved in a discussion on a blog, even a popular one.  Quite another to listen in at a mainstream article where people seem to enjoy seeing their name in print and will type the most ridiculous and ignorant things.  But regarding the HHS mandate, especially regarding the Army stifling/censoring the free speech of Archbishop Broglio, I’ve been glancing through some of the comments, just to see what the “average Joe” is thinking.  (Note: I can no longer find the article at Fox News I saw, which I find very interesting…)

Heaven help us.  Somehow, my refusing to pay for someone else’s birth control pills is imposing my religious views on others?  I suppose I’ll next be required to pay for their porn magazines?

It’s no longer “live and let live” – a motto which attempts to gag as hate-speech any efforts to point out the negative societal consequences of poor (immoral) choices. 

No, now we need to shut our mouths and open our wallets, too.  Pay tribute at the altar of the false gods, or be fed to the lions.

It’s interesting that this freedom of religion crisis (and it is a crisis) is coming right now, as my oldest is about to be confirmed.  That old Baltimore Catechism instructs that the sacrament makes one a soldier of Christ.  I don’t think the “army” will be a metaphorical one.

Avoiding "Depends"-ence

So, I have a hundred photos on my camera from the past month, and I’m sure tons of exciting events have happened in my life, but the days are becoming rather blurred.  Instead of flexing any creative muscles or actually downloading pictures, I’ll just give another link:

Pelvic Floor Party: Kegels are NOT Invited

Many thanks for this info to Lina.  I hate kegels anyway.  What to do instead: squats.  Go Crossfit!

Speaking of…check out this inspirational photo from their site.

New Project

Yesterday, Katie said: “Mommy, when we move, if there’s an extra room, can we set it up just for sewing?”

I smiled.  “That’s my dream home, Katie.”

Not likely to happen any time soon, but we can have fun imagining it.

I have been avoiding teaching my daughters how to sew.  As always, it’s the learning curve.  I didn’t want to have to be patient for hours/days/weeks while they learned a new skill.  To force myself to do it, I gave Katie a quilt kit for Christmas.  The quilt is sized for a doll, and is meant to be hand sewn.  Smart cookie that she is, she did the first 3″ line of stitching joining two patches and then asked to switch to the machine.  We had that quilt completed in a few hours.

She was not very diligent about maintaining a 1/4″ seam, but it was just a doll quilt.

Jenny saw this and decided she wanted to make a quilt for the new baby.  We opted for red/white/blue, since we don’t know the baby’s gender and because I had a bunch of red/white/blue fabric on hand.  We finished cutting those squares yesterday and designing the layout.  I did have to go back and trim up all the squares to make them the same size.  Katie had helped, but cut 5″ x 5″ squares instead of 4″ x 4″.  And I have a plastic quilt block pattern which is 4 1/2″ x 4 1/2″ to have a 4″ x 4″ end product, but I did not realize that it was like that.  I cut a bunch of 4″ wide fabric strips, and the girls used the pattern to cut them into “squares” but they were 4″ x 4 1/2″ instead.

This was MY learning curve, and I don’t seem to mind those so much.

We then started sewing the patches into strips, making sure we got the design right.  Jenny picked up very quickly on the need to pay attention to which block came next.  After I did two strips, she decided she wanted to do the sewing.  So, I showed her how and (after Katie’s sewing performance), stressed the need to keep the edge of the fabric aligned with the edge of the foot.  I even made her rip out one seam and do it again.  She did great.  After walking her through a few strips where I aligned the fabric and showed her exactly where to stitch, I let her do it by herself while I watched, and she demonstrated that she thoroughly understood what she was doing.  She finished all the remaining strips with minimal assistance.

I did have to re-thread the bobbin at one point.  And re-thread the needle after the thread broke.

And there was one point where Katie was showing her how to use the iron, and I was across the room cautioning, “You MUST be careful with the iron.  It will burn you.  I have a scar on my leg from being burnt by an iron 35 years ago.  Pay close attention!”  My words were immediately followed byOuch!” and Katie ordering her sister to put her hand under cold running water.  It’s a pretty ugly burn, but she took it like a trooper.

After the doll quilt was finished last weekend, Katie decided that she wanted to make a quilt for her bed.  I am unhappy about the store-bought quilts they have.  They just have not held up in the wash and with normal childhood wear and tear (jumping on beds, being used as a tent, etc).  But finding the time…

But since Katie did such a great job on the doll quilt, I decided to go ahead and jump in with not just her quilt but three coordinating quilts for the three girls.  We went to the fabric store last week and bought enough to get started with a vague idea of a pattern.  This past week, we finalized our design, and yesterday we began to cut the shapes: each block is 9 pieces, but there are 2 different sized squares and a rectangle.  One square is large (10″ x 10″ when done) and we found three fabrics with the same pattern but different colors: light blue, lavender and pink.  Each quilt will have that large square be a different color, but the other colors will be in the block as well.  Each quilt will be unique, but they will all go together well.

We’re using the Puss-in-the-Corner

I also got some great coupons in the mail this week (50% off!!), so we’ll go back to the store after Mass today and see if they have enough of this gorgeous lavender paisley fabric that we want to use as a backing for all three quilts.  Katie can’t wait to start piecing her blocks together.

I don’t regret not doing this sooner.  I think the timing is perfect.  I’m pleased at how well both girls are sewing and their comprehension of the way the pattern goes together.  I’m enjoying how they are working well as a team and helping each other.  And since Katie’s doll quilt was also my first quilt, I’m enjoying learning this with them.  I wasn’t worried that it would be difficult (I tend to be undaunted with sewing projects even if I do spend quite a bit of time ripping seams and trying again).  But I was concerned that the project would be tedious and frustrating if their involvement required too much effort from me.  Instead, I am finding that the monotony of measuring, cutting and stitching is very pleasant when you have nice companions.