Mary Poppins Not asks what are Six Weird Things about me.
I’ve got my fair share of quirks, but couldn’t really come up with much specifically. I asked my husband who also claimed to be so used to my idiosyncracies that he no longer noticed them. Except for the fact that I “get completely wrapped around the axle about some things” but am “horribly apathetic about others.” Or something like that.
Perhaps I’m a bit like Contrary Mary – when I’m good, I’m very very good, but when I’m bad, I’m horrid. I’m a person of extremes. Did you notice yesterday’s meme – wanting the virtue of temperance? Usually middle of the road is good; usually I’m careening from one white line to the other.
Examples of this? It’s easier to see the forest and not the trees, but I’ll try.
1. Although I don’t like it (and work to prevent it), I don’t get overly upset when my toddler picks food, even dirty food, off the floor and eats it. Or mouths the dog toys. Or tastes to see if the mud pies are chocolatey. But if the kid splashes around in a toilet – even one that’s just been scrubbed – I will call in a Hazmat team to hose him down.
2. I can get mean and dirty competitive over board games and card games with my husband. But if he suggests that perhaps I’m not pushing myself as hard as I could in my running, I just agree and leave it at that.
3. Although I think they look nicer folded into thirds, I really don’t care if bath towels are folded that way or into halves. I’m just happy if they are folded or hanging and not wet and on the floor. But toilet paper? I really like to have the end coming off the top and not from behind. Really, really, really.
4. When driving, I like to go fast. I prefer traffic to move along at a good clip. I will say things like: “Any day, lady.” “Come on.” “Move it.” “Why are you in the left lane?” etc. No cursing, though sometimes I do use the word “stupid” and my kids chastise me. But I quickly concede defeat when there are too many cars or the drivers all seem to be lollygagging along, and I will sit silently when stuck behind someone for three minutes while they hold up traffic to make a left turn in a spot where they shouldn’t be turning.
5. I have moments of utter brilliance: it might be cleverness, intelligence or necessity, but there are times when something I do is the model of perfection. But, thank God, there are moments of total idiocy. Times when I am dumber than a doorknob.
6. And lastly, not really an example of extremes, when indoors if you ask me which way is XYZ, I will point to the front door and say “that way.” I don’t do this to be flippant, it’s just my natural indoor spatial relationship thing. If you want to go to the bank, you have to go that way, right? Always start with step one. Outdoors, I’m not quite as bad…and I always manage to find my way home, even with no bread crumbs.