Last Chance Mass

We went camping this weekend (more to come on that later), and didn’t want to rush to get to Sunday morning Mass.  One of the local churches has a “last chance Mass” on Sunday evenings, aka the “drunkard’s Mass,” the “sinner’s Mass,” or the “camper’s Mass,” since my boys will see half the kids from their Troop there on camping weekends.

Bill and I had discussed Mass attendance options over breakfast that morning and decided to go to that one.  We did not include the children in our conversation.  Throughout the day, my older kids said, one by one, “Hey, it’s Sunday!  What about Mass?”  Like we would ever blow it off.

But it’s nice to know they think about it.

I don’t prefer to go Sunday nights, and I have a nagging feeling all day long whenever I do.  This same church also has a “first chance Mass” on Saturday “evenings” – at 4:30 pm (most other area churches have Masses at 5 pm or later).  I have been to that one several times, and it has a very different mood than this Sunday evening Mass.  Saturday evening seems much more somber.  But the Sunday evening Mass had, I swear it, a party tone.  I finally resolved to stare at my lap so I would stop noticing all the chattering, hugging and complete disregard for the True Presence.

Just then, Katie, sitting to my right, nudged me and I was compelled to look down to my husband who was smirking.

“Peter’s shirt is on inside out,” he told me.

“I told him that!” said Katie-with-the-halo.

Peter was wearing a collared, button-down shirt.  “How is that possible?” I asked.

“The tag is shoved up under the collar,” explained my husband.  “And he’s not wearing socks.”

I started laughing, trying hard to stifle it.  At least he was clean.

Rhinestone Shades

When you wake up in the morning and the light is hurt your head
The first thing you do when you get up out of bed
Is hit that streets a-runnin’ and try to beat the masses
And go get yourself {prescription} sunglasses
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah

Now go out and get yourself some big black frames
With the glass so dark thay won’t even know your name
And the choice is up to you cause they come in two classes:
Rhinestone shades or cheap sunglasses
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah

These weren’t cheap, but they were worth every single penny.  I don’t know how I ever survived without them.

Serious Dining

Mary wasn’t hungry at dinner, so she asked if she could play Duck, Duck, Goose. 

“Sure,” I said, “just don’t expect anybody to chase you.”

“OK, Mommy,” she said.  She reached up high to touch my head.  “Duck.”  When I didn’t say anything, she siad, “Mom!  You’re supposed to quack.”

“Quack,” I said.

Fritz and Billy weren’t here for dinner, so she passed some empty seats.  After that, she didn’t just say, “Duck,” she said, “Princess Duck.”

After circling the table a few times, she reached Katie.  “Evil Duck,” she said.

Katie quacked an evil quack.  Then we all got to practice evil quacking.

She got back to me.  “Ugly Duck.”

I made a sad face and quacked a mournful quack.  She felt bad and apologized.

Then she changed her titles with each person.  “King Duck,” “Mother Duck,” “Knight Duck,” “Silly Duck,” and on and on.  I think she went round the table 20 times before she finally said “Goose!” on Jenny’s head.  It was so unexpected that Jenny was slow to respond.  The dog chased Mary first and effectively cut off Jenny from catching her.  Mary safely reached Billy’s seat and decided that was good enough.

I was finished eating, so I didn’t stick around for Round Two.

Goodbyes, Hellos, and growing up

I said goodbye to two friends yesterday.  That was rough.  I think it would have been kinder if they would have staggered their leaving by at least a week, but I guess the Army didn’t take me into consideration when planning their moves.

I got to spend a lot of time with this little guy.

He wasn’t interested in smiling for the camera.
He loved to kiss and hug/bite Mary.

He also loved to sit on my lap.

Mary was not interested in sharing my lap.

Yesterday was also Peter’s birthday.  Bill was gone all week, and I didn’t think he’d be home in time to celebrate, so we had cake last weekend.

I did not make this cake.

He loved it.

I told myself to get a picture BEFORE somebody dropped a nectarine on it.  Too late.

The birthday serenade.

Even though we had cake last week, we still had to do something on his actual birthday.  So we went out for ice cream, and met another military family new to the area.  Because that’s the way this military life works.

For every goodbye, there seems to be another hello.

While chatting with this new family, the conversation turned to Scouts.  I asked what rank the older boy was, and since the mom couldn’t exactly remember, I turned to Fritz (who was hovering) and told him to go introduce himself to the boy, Scout to Scout.  As he got up immediately, shook hands, and started talking, I had yet another heart-touching moment where I realized that this boy is quickly becoming a man.  Long-gone is the 7 yo whom I sent on the playground accompanied by his gregarious younger brother to meet the neighborhood kids.  No, this young man can introduce himself all on his own.

{sigh}  I’m so happy for the maturity.  I just wish it wasn’t so bittersweet.

How to insult someone in 140 characters or less

Alec Baldwin Spews Hate on Bachmann: ‘Inarticulate and Full of *&$#%’

I don’t care if it’s Twitter, saying that somebody is “inarticulate and full of *&$#%” is like lambasting someone for being a “bad speler” or saying that “she have poor grammar skills.”  I mean, if the best insults you have are expletives, can you really call someone else inarticulate?  Twitter does permit 140 characters, right?  The following articulate quotations are all less than 140 characters (omitting the bracketed words from the GW quote). 

“The {foolish and wicked} practice of profane cursing and swearing is a vice so mean and low that every person of sense and character detests and despises it.”  George Washington

“Profanity is the weapon of the witless.”  Anonymous

“Profanity is the common crutch of the conversational cripple.”  David Keuck

“When a man uses profanity to support an argument, it indicates that either the man or the argument is weak – probably both.”  Anonymous

“Profanity is the attempt of a lazy and feeble mind to express itself forcefully.”  Anonymous

Expect the expected

“Mommy, do you know where the pliers are?”

This question, from Katie, is not a normal occurrence.  I wasn’t sure whether I should be proud…or very very worried.

“Why do you want pliers?”

“Oh, we’re making necklaces and we need them for the ends.”  Of course.  Silly me for getting a bit excited at the prospect that she was spending her summer delving into electric circuitry.

“Did you look in the toolboxes?” I suggested.

“Oh,” She said, “OK.”  With a shrug that seemed to say: I’ll give it a try.  I’ve looked in all the reasonable places I could think of, why not the toolboxes.

She hasn’t returned, so I assume that she found one.

Maybe we’ll do circuits next summer.

Rough afternoon

I’m babysitting the most placid 16 month old on the planet.  He’s snuggled on my lap with a toy in each hand and staring up at me with his serious brown eyes with sinfully long dark lashes.

If I were his mother, I’d be frustrated that I can’t get anything done. 

But since I’m the babysitter, I’ll just get caught up on blog reading.

June in Georgia and the Army

I attended a sit-down dinner last night with about a hundred other people.  I can’t even remember the centerpieces – perhaps blue and red carnations? – but I won’t forget that strewn decoratively around the centerpiece on the white tablecloth were dozens of coffee beans

We presumed a foreboding of tedious speeches.  The coffee beans could be consumed if necessary.

*******

It’s been over a year and I still can not get used to the deference shown my husband based on his job.  Nobody calls him “Bill” (few people call me “Michelle”).  When speaking to me, nobody ever says “your husband” or even “he” or “him” when it is obvious whom they mean.  It’s always “The BC” or “The Colonel.”  Every single time, I ask myself “Who?” before I realize they mean Bill. 

Fortunately, in a year, he’ll be back to being just another LTC among hundreds of LTCs.  At least I hope so.  It doesn’t do a man any good to spend too long with people kowtowing to you.  Humility is a virtue hard to cultivate when you are a VIP.

*******

I was actually a bit early for the dinner last night, so I thought I could make a quick trip to the commissary.

I forgot it was Monday.  Not all, but many commissaries are closed on Mondays.  However, I’ve spent most of my time living near Fort Belvoir, and that commissary is usually open on Mondays.  I can’t get used to something that is actually very standard.

*******

The Okefenokee Swamp is on fire.  It has been since late April.  We are about a hundred miles northeast of the fire, but we can see and smell the smoke all the way up here.  On Saturday, when I drove down to Florida to meet my mom and pick up my girls, I spent over an hour in thick smog.  It’s not very pleasant, but it’s interesting and amazing at the same time.  I would think that a hundred miles is more than enough distance to dissipate the smoke, but apparently not.  I can’t imagine how horrid it must be closer to the blaze.

*******

Now that our days are less congested with activities and the temperatures are oppressive, I thought it would be a great time to read The Lord of the Rings trilogy out loud as a family.  I’ve told the boys that they can’t watch the movies until they’ve read the books, so they are eager to get going with this project. 

Of course, as soon as I mentioned this to them, I had another thought.  I turned to Bill and asked, “Do we even own the books?”

No, of course not.  Fortunately, the used bookstore in town had copies.  It was my lucky day.

*******

The other evening, the doorbell rang, and once we shooed our vicious dog away, I opened it to find my elderly neighbor standing there with a watermelon.

“Are you gifting me with a watermelon?” I asked.  She was, and actually gave me two since I had such a large family. 

I’ve got great neighbors.  We have always been fortunate in finding good people wherever we are.

*******

After the nasty sand gnats become less troublesome, out come the deer flies that circle you several times before picking a nice tender spot to chomp on.  Both the gnats and the flies travel in swarms, so there is no escape once they spot you.  Now that the flies have pretty much died off, the Georgia humidity is kicking in.  It wouldn’t be so bad, but the A/C in this house is inadequate.  I suppose 84 degrees is better than 94 or 100, but it’s still hot.

*******

Such is Army life: several friends are moving away next week.  I hate goodbyes; I think we all hate goodbyes.  We’ll focus on the petty annoyances of packers and movers and landlords and remain in denial about the bigger life changes happening. 

And also, in the Army, it’s not necessarily goodbye forever.  You never know what old friends you might find at your next duty station.

And I’m re-learning that it is much harder to be the one left behind.