Thank goodness, the eggnog is gone

Three kids wanted the last little bit of eggnog.

“How about I put it in one cup and you share it,” I suggested.

“But Katie doesn’t like whipped cream and Peter and I do,” whined Jenny. She had a point, but I feared that they would be disappointed if they saw their portion in our usual mugs. I think, perhaps, more eggnog would remain clinging to the sides of the mug than would actually make it into their bellies.

So, I gave them virgin eggnog shooters instead.

The things you do for love.

An intimate celebration

Grownups with no children were coming to dinner. I contemplated having our usual family-style meal with all ten of us crammed around the dining room table and the children complaining about what I made and then using their fingers to dip their veggies in ketchup and draw pictures on their plates.

And then I decided to make pizza for the kids and throw them in the basement with a movie.

(The basement is finished and that’s where the family room and our only TV is. And the kids seemed to like the idea.)

So the friends came – friends we last saw in the spring of 2002 (three kids ago). The kids shook hands, grabbed their pizza, and went off.

Mary stayed upstairs, but we gave her some pizza and she did her best to look cute and keep herself amused.

Wine was poured. Adult conversations ensued.

The veggies were being lightly sauteed and the crab cakes had but a few more minutes in the skillet when one guest excused herself to use the bathroom.
She found Mary.

In the sink.
With the water running and nearly at the brim.
Brushing her teeth (with her sister’s toothbrush).

(Photo taken after I had drained the water, removed her shirt and then thought about the camera. And I’m just noticing that the date on my camera is off.)

Dinner was great – effortlessly fabulous, thanks to this great cookbook (notice that the book only has 5 star reviews).

But the entertainment? That’s what they’ll remember the most.

New Year’s Resolutions

At the beginning of the school year, I volunteered to be the “Cookie Mom” for Katie’s and Jenny’s Girl Scout troops. {If you live in Northern Virginia and you want cookies, just let me know.} In November, I had to attend a training session to learn how the whole program works. The woman doing the training mentioned that being Cookie Mom was a great résumé builder, especially since you would be responsible for thousands of dollars of cash.

{Tangentially, it was then that my friend, Rachel, turned to me and asked if I kept an up-to-date résumé with a tone that suggested but of course you do, right? If I didn’t know Rachel very well, I might have been tempted to lie and pretend that I was all hip and ready to jump into the real world any time a lucrative offer came along. Instead I said something about God knowing what was on my résumé.}

{Also, tangentially, when I relayed the whole “responsible for great sums of money” line to my husband, he seemed to think thousands of dollars of cash was chump change. I had to remind him that despite my high salary and responsible-sounding “Engineer” title, I never handled actual money or even an inventory. He, on the other hand, was personally responsible, as a 30 year old Company Commander, for millions of dollars worth of equipment, including tanks, and I’m sure he’d be more than happy to brag about how many millions of dollars his department’s operating budget is. But I don’t think most people do jobs where they are responsible for seven-or eight- or nine-figure budgets.}

Well, like Bill, I don’t really think handling even $5,000 cash is truly a big deal. But I’m also not interested in building my résumé either.

{On another tangent, it reminds me of looking back at my senior year high school yearbook picture which lists all my “accomplishments.” I think it says that I was VP of the German Club or some other position. I barely remember that. I know I didn’t lie when I filled out the data form, but I also know that I remember the things which truly meant a lot to me, and those which were less important, I have forgotten. Being a Cookie Mom, I predict, will not rank among my cherished memories.}

But the talk of operating budgets and large sums of cash got me to thinking about my own household budget. Thanks to direct deposit and the ability to pay bills electronically, I don’t have to handle actual cash most of the time. And although my household operating budget will likely never be remotely near the seven-figure level, it certainly exceeds any amount the girls’ troops will generate in cookie sales.

This is actually quite an enormous responsibility, this running of the household finances and the household in general. Although ideally it should be a shared responsibility between me and Bill, who is oh-so-experienced in managing budgets, realistically, this burden falls primarily on the shoulders of anyone who is married to the military.

{When Bill deployed to Kosovo in 2003, the first thing that broke was the oven. “Bill, I broke the oven,” I told him. “OK,” he said. Such is the level of involvement an Army wife might expect in her away-from-home-for-months-at-a-time husband in the management of household affairs. Next up was the transmission in the mini-van. “It’s not worth fixing. Get another one,” he decided. Easy for him to say. Have you ever tried to test drive a car, a lone adult, with three little kids in tow, all who require child safety seats? But I was happy enough that I could easily obtain his opinion on whether to repair or replace.}

Sadly, I do not think I have taken this responsibility very seriously. And not just the budget but the whole running of the household, in general. Recently, I had to email someone for her snail mail address, again, having apparently deleted her email from weeks ago with that information. The kids and I went to the dentist just before we moved from Kansas in June, and I’ve been telling myself for 6 months to get appointments with the new dentist. I generally think of it at eleven o’clock at night.

Why is it that I tolerate a lackadaisical attitude toward home management when I never behaved that way when I worked for pay? When I left my desk at the end of the workday (way back when), it was neat as a pin. Everything was filed or placed neatly in my in bin. There was no dust. My “hot” to-do list was placed squarely in the middle so I knew exactly what I had to begin when I arrived in the morning. Addresses and phone numbers were consistently updated and kept in the same place (this was in the day before everything was done on the computer). I never missed deadlines. I never forgot appointments. I was much more pro-active than reactive.

It’s not that I want to treat my family as employees – cordial, yet detached. It’s that I want to bring my talents to organize and manage and multi-task and plan and budget both time and money into play when it comes to my home. I don’t want to merely say that my grocery budget is $800 a month, I want to be as hyper-vigilant in meeting that budget as if my job depended on it. I want to eat like a king the last week of the month (or the last month of the year) because I was so frugal at the beginning (or take the money saved and splurge on some luxury).

I don’t want to dig under the pile on my desk for a phone number. I don’t want to climb into my closet looking for that bag of fabric I’m sure I put in there somewhere. I don’t want to have to move a pile of junk in order to use my copier (as I’m doing right now).

So, my resolution for this year is to treat my running of the household more as I would treat my running of a business. My monthly resolutions will reflect this goal. This month’s focus will be on organizing the office and the school room so that the two areas which cause me the greatest headache and where I spend much of my time will help me succeed in my mission.

And I’m going to run 15 miles a week and lose 10 pounds.

And pray more. And read more.

And hug the kids more.

The usual stuff.

New Year’s Blessings

Me (last evening): Father always seems amused when he sees me at Mass without children in tow.

Bill: That’s because he expects to see me at confession tomorrow.

Happy New Year!

The Lord bless you and keep you! The Lord let his face shine upon you, and be gracious to you! The Lord look upon you kindly and give you peace! Numbers 6:24-26

I want my MTV!

‘Colbert,’ ‘SpongeBob’ may go dark on Time Warner

Personally, I’m quite tired of my cable bill creeping up a little bit here and there. I had this idea that I could arrange for cable television for a certain price and it would stay that price for some time – like maybe a year. But that’s not how it works. I call the cable company and agree on a package for a certain price and I get that package and that price for a few months. And then, with no warning, my bill one month is $0.37 more. And since I peaceably pay that bill for a few months, I am rewarded with another increase, this time maybe $0.81. At the end of the year, my cable bill is several dollars more than it was when I opened my account.

Frustrating.

I wouldn’t even get cable (I wouldn’t even have a TV in the house), if it weren’t for my husband who likes to watch programs that aren’t typically on rabbit-ear TV: Food Network, TLC, Discovery Channel, Animal Planet, the History Channel. Of course, he has very little time to watch TV, so I might try to convince him that we should go without for a few years. Maybe his next job won’t be so time consuming. Yeah, right.

So the deal is that Viacom, which owns MTV and Nickelodeon, wants more money for their channels from Time Warner, which would mean one of those surreptitious hikes in Time Warner customers’ cable bills. And they are threatening to pull their channels if they don’t get it!

“We make this request because Time Warner Cable has so greatly undervalued our channels for so long,” [Viacom] said. “Ultimately, however, if Nickelodeon, Comedy Central, MTV and the rest of our programming is discontinued — over less than a penny per day — we believe viewers will see this behavior by their cable company as outrageous,” it said.

Certainly, I think the Peanut Gallery at most homes would be outraged: no Nickelodeon? Waaaa! But I’m wondering if there aren’t other bill payers, like me, who are just sick of the price increases. Be strong, Time Warner! Don’t let Viacom bully you!

Sewing Machine

Because my girls’ ballet studio is a bit chilly, I gave them ballet sweaters and leg warmers for Christmas. They have worn them every single day, so I guess they like their gifts.

In Katie’s class, they wear light blue leotards, so she usurped the blue skirt I made Jenny for Halloween. This did not sit well with Jenny, who wanted a pink skirt to match her pink leotard. I bought the fabric weeks ago, and hoped to make it for the 25th, but I just didn’t have time.
I also had some fabric I intended to use to make small bags specifically for the carrying of all this ballet “gear.” I’m a little tired of pink slippers on the floor of my van. This project, too, did not get underway before Christmas rolled around.
But since I’m on vacation this week (ha!), I have the leisure to partake in my favorite hobby: sewing.
First, I modified the blue skirt from a wrap style to an elastic waist style. Then I made a pink one for Jenny, using the same wrap pattern (style H), but modifying it so it is slip on.
Then I modified this pattern to make shoulder bags for the girls. Mine are fully lined and narrower than the pattern designs. I also made the straps shorter for their smaller bodies. Fortunately, the girls preferred different fabrics, so they have opposite bags with the outside of one girl’s bag being the lining of the other girl’s bag. Now I’ll know who to yell at for leaving her stuff on the floor.

It won’t be Jenny, though. She almost never stops carrying her bag. It is rather stylish.
In this picture you can (barely) see a hair net I made for the girls back in October. I made another one for Jenny to match her bag.

That was yesterday’s work. Today I’m replacing worn Velcro on two of my husband’s uniforms (a tedious job). I also hope to stitch on the proper patches to Billy’s scout uniform. It’s been 6 months, and he still has the council patch from his pack in Kansas. I think the kid deserves a squared away uniform, at least in time for the Blue and Gold Banquet in February.

Family gift: if it makes Dad happy, then it makes everybody happy

Bill put on his Christmas wish list a Remington 870. Fine. The man wants a gun for Christmas, I’ll get him a gun for Christmas.

But then he typed in after it that it could be a “family gift.”

Who is he kidding?

Oh, I’ll learn to operate it. That way, he can abandon me for weeks or months at a time but still rest easy at night, comforted by the notion that between the dog and the gun, his family can fend off the average bad guy until the police arrive.

But as long as I have money and a grocery store that will take it, I will never ever shoot a duck or a pheasant or any other animal unless it is rabid and about to attack my toddler.

Bill flew to Korea on November 30th, and first thing on December 1st, I called a friend of his. He helped me figure out exactly what to buy, where to go, questions to ask so that I would bring along all the proper paperwork. I’m not sure what all the other people in the office thought about Bill’s wife calling this guy as soon as Bill went out of town. But such are the indignities I am willing to suffer just to make my husband’s Christmas special.

Finally, by the end of the week, I had the time to head down to the gun shop of choice. I packed all six kids in the car and put five bags of M&Ms in my pocket. The deal was, if anyone said that my kids were well behaved, the kids could have the candy on the way home.

We had to be quite a sight. I, obviously, did not know a thing about guns. But the man was nice, the kids were complimented (and earned their candy), and I walked out of there a gun owner.

This is something I never expected I would ever do. But that’s my husband: always getting me to try new things, stretch my horizons, grow, develop, expand. Or maybe that’s just part of being an Army wife.

Because Bill then went to Japan and continued to be away for another week, I knew that the majority of the children would completely forget about our little adventure. Those who remembered were most likely to keep a secret. And they did, shockingly enough. In fact, I think even the older ones temporarily forgot, and didn’t say anything when Christmas Day arrived and there was no shotgun under the tree.

It was the day after Christmas when Bill and his dad started talking about guns that Fritz, an eager listener, sought me out. “Uh, Mom, what about Dad’s gun?” he asked. “Don’t worry about it,” I reassured him. And, good kid that he is, he left it at that.

I couldn’t resist. Instead of giving it to him for Christmas, I saved his “family gift” for yesterday, the Feast of the Holy Family. I’m not sure what Jesus, Mary and Joseph would think about my gift, but I think it’s funny.

Bill was thoroughly surprised, and I’m not sure which impresses him more: me buying a gun or the kids keeping a secret. And although I find myself to be completely predictable, I am still managing, after nineteen years, to keep Bill guessing.