Awkward Moments

Before Mass, I was speaking with a woman and she realized ours was a military family.

“Oh, there’s a group here of military wives…did you know that?”

“No, I didn’t,” I replied invitingly.  Perhaps, I thought, that is what I need.  Homeschool friends are great, Catholic friends are great, but I really really think military friends are The Best.  I have some absolutely wonderful military friends.  Unfortunately, we have all moved away from each other.  That which brought us together has also pulled us apart.

The woman mentioned the name of the group and some of the things they do.  “They’ve had quite a number of funerals, too.”

“Oh.  Really.” I said soberly.

“Yes, one man had never seen his baby, except on Skype.  Another one had been over there only one day.”

“Oh.  My.”  I replied, thinking, perhaps this is not the group for me.  I don’t know how other military wives feel, but a group whose mission ends up being bereavement support is not something I can get excited about.  I don’t mean that I wouldn’t be there for my friends, or even complete strangers, if that was required.  If anybody ever needs to go shopping for funeral attire, I hope they call me, for no one should go alone to do that.  But it is one thing to step up to a task set before you, and quite another to go looking for people to help. 

I’m sure the group is not really a bereavement ministry, but the woman didn’t really sell me on it.

*******

During the homily, the man behind me leaned over to his wife and whispered, “What is that sound?”

That would be my baby, loudly eating his dinner.  I felt myself blush, and didn’t hear the wife’s answer.  Mary was the same way, and I hated being in a quiet, public venue with her.  I looked it up and he must be doing it with his tongue, since his lips are properly turned out.  The website said it’s only a problem if it hurts the mom (it doesn’t) or if the baby isn’t gaining enough weight.

About that…

I have to go back to the doctor in 9 days to have him reweighed.  I have been weighing him periodically since his last appointment 9 days ago.  After 1 day, he was up 1 oz: good.  Two days after that, he was down almost half an ounce: terrible.  The next day, he was up almost 4 oz: fabulous.  Two or three days later, he was the same weight: depressing.  Today, he was up from the beginning weight by just shy of 8 oz in 9 days.  This is a fine weight gain in that time period, especially since he has had zero formula.

Oh, but the emotional highs and lows of reading that scale!  Sheesh.  It’s almost as bad as the emotional highs and lows of measuring my own weight.

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7 thoughts on “Awkward Moments

  1. You should stop measuring your own weight until you get George where you want him to be. You can only handle so much weight obsession…!!

  2. I want to comment but I don't know what to say. I think I would stay away from that group, too. As a matter of self-preservation. (And I've never gone shopping for a funeral dress. 🙂 )

  3. as a BFing counselor….. i would say for peace of mind, less stress, if you're having frequent weight checks at the docs, STOP weighing him every day. those weights are normal! 🙂

    if you're not going in a ton, then only do once a week or something like that so you don't kill yourself!

    as a mama…. i can understand. but it sounds like he's doing great! just curious – is he just a slurpy eater or are there any clicking sounds?

  4. Lina, I don't weigh him every day…just MOST days. 🙂 I'm not taking him in to be weighed until October 2nd, almost 3 weeks after the last one. If he was not doing well exclusively bf-ing, then I wanted enough warning to get some supplements in before the weigh in. I DO want my child to be healthy and thrive, but I don't want doctors to feel intervention is necessary, so I want him to gain much closer to an ounce a day than a half ounce. He seems to be doing fine, so I'll wait at least 4-5 days before doing it again.

    I think the sound is a clicking of his tongue. I haven't looked closely at it, but it is NOT as tied as it was before I clipped it, but the frenulum may have grown back a bit perhaps? He only started making this noise 2-3 weeks ago.

  5. no that makes sense – checking yourself in between 3 weeks weighin seems reasonable, just remember its not exact 🙂

    is the clicking all during the feeding (ie from the get go)? or does it start part way in? are you making sure to support your breast for him (big/heavy breast, little head), so that it doesn't start to pull down and out of his mouth, causing him to lose latch and thus start clicking? (lose latch, and then relatch badly)

  6. Supporting the breast makes no difference, neither does nursing position. He starts right up with the noise, but it stops when he slows down and is still latched on but isn't gulping down milk. When you said “slurping” I had to really consider which it was, but I even asked my husband (and George was making the noise while I asked him), and he agreed that it was more clicking…the tongue breaking suction. But since it is always when he starts to nurse, when the flow is strongest, that perhaps he's making it slow down?

    As I said, it doesn't hurt me, and I know Mary did it, too. We went on a Strong Bonds retreat when she was about 6 months old and moments of silence were filled with the sound of her eating. Discretion went out the window.

  7. Ah the weight gain roller coaster. I'll be there soon myself. My kiddos never gain well..or they do the back and forth like you were talking about. And I did “most” days as well. 🙂 I hated getting to the ped only to learn they didn't gain at all, or lost in the one to two weeks we hadn't been weighing/checking at home. Do you use any herbs or anything to help with supply? Hallie Lord and I have trouble with supply, but with my last baby, I found this awesome stuff called Go Lacta. I remember being in the back of church and just dying to nurse the baby because I was so full. She ate well that time. Alas, I ended up having an allergic reaction to it because it's a kind of tree herb. Anyway, it wasn't cheap, but by 5 months I don't seem to need to supplement anymore, so I didn't need it anyway.

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