Needed: shave and a haircut
Here’s my middle aged hippie/rocker husband with a mullet/ponytail.
How in the world does he get away with that ‘do in the Army?
Last night, Bill and I loitered over our dinner. Most of the kids had excused themselves, but then there were the hangers-on…the ones who suspect that something monumental might be discussed and they wouldn’t want to miss it. Or perhaps they just enjoy our company so much, that they can’t bear to go into another room.
Jenny was climbing all over Bill, and behind him. She was making rabbit ears and other annoying gestures which he couldn’t see, and which did not amuse me (her audience) in the slightest. But when she crouched behind him and spread her hair over his shoulders, I nearly fell off my chair.
I much prefer the high-and-tight cut.
Pray and Work
I count among my friends a certain woman and her husband. The husband is…notorious. I’m not naming names, not because I fear what others may think about me because of him, but because I have witnessed otherwise rational people become quite rabid at the mention of his name (in blogs, in comboxes). It is unfortunate, because a lot of what he has to say is worth hearing.
My thoughts today are not wholly original. It is my friend, the wife, who used the following scenario to explain her and her husband’s motives for certain controversial actions.
Suppose, one day, a woman is raped on a street corner not far from your home. Most of us would be upset – it is a horrible crime. Perhaps we would be concerned for our own safety or that of our friends, daughters, neighbors. We would want to know what the police were doing about it.
Suppose another woman is raped…and another…in the exact same spot. We would probably get angry at the situation. We might organize a neighborhood watch to protect women in the area. We might storm the town council and demand 24 hour protection for the area.
Suppose we found out that the town, or the state, had decided that raping women on that particular street corner was legal. We would probably be outraged that such a despicable crime were permitted under any conditions anywhere. Some of us might fight to abolish that law. Some of us might stand vigil on that street to warn women. Some who stand vigil might see women being dragged there by men who want to rape them and know they can legally do it only on that corner. Some standing vigil might be roused to violence in defense of the woman about to be victimized.
Suppose, despite all these efforts, the act remained legal on that corner and in other parts of the country. Suppose after a decade, hundreds or thousands of women were being raped every day, legally. How would we, as a society, cope with that?
Would the outrage remain? Would we get tired of trying to protect women? Would we stop the daily vigil and only show up on days that weren’t quite as hectic (no soccer practice today, guess I have time to go rage against the violence)?
Would we have less horror of the act of rape? After a decade of being told that rape was OK, under certain circumstances, would youth brought up in that environment think rape is a big deal at all? Would we begin to justify it, perhaps thinking that the women deserved it?
How about after two or three decades? Wouldn’t we have to begin to believe that women were less deserving of certain rights? How, after all, can you legally permit unspeakable horrors against other human beings?
Think of the Holocaust. Dauchau, the first concentration camp, opened in 1933. The nightmare that occurred in the “civilized” West lasted for just over a decade. It was only possible by dehumanizing those of Jewish descent, by fearful dominance of the populace, and by citizens who claimed ignorance of the situation.
Slavery. It’s been with us forever, and is even still in this country, hidden. One person given the right to decide the fate of another. But it was ok, legally, because the slave wasn’t a full citizen (full human).
Now, in places in Europe, doctors have the authority to decide if an older person or a sick person or a handicapped infant has the right to live. This is not a lengthy ordeal with due process. Today, the doctor decides and executes.
Time and again, we give legal authority to one class of people over another class of people. Time and again, we make indefinite exceptions to the concept that each person has the right to life, liberty and property without due process. It is one thing to deprive a convicted criminal of his liberty. Quite another to deprive one unlucky enough to be kidnapped from a foreign country.
When we will learn? And when will we act? If we do not defend the freedoms of others, there may be nobody left to defend us when we become the target.
Today is the March for Life in Washington, D.C. My friend, the husband, is actively pro-life. There are many in the pro-life movement who revile him. His ways do not meet with everyone’s approval. For one, he believes that images are vital to the cause, that people need to see the horrific reality of abortion. He has done other things and been called a self-serving showboat. That’s not the person I know. His ways are not my ways, but that doesn’t mean his fight isn’t valid. There isn’t one way to fight this evil. We all have to do our part.
Recently I read a criticism of him that suggested he should just go home and pray the rosary. I believe in the power of prayer, wholly believe in it. But I believe in going to the doctor when I’m sick and taking up arms against a hostile enemy. Praying does not make my kitchen floor any cleaner. St. Benedict said: Ora et labora. Pray and work.
My friend, the wife, concluded by saying that we each, in the end, have to account to God for our actions. When there was an atrocity in our midst, He will ask, what did we do about it? They have been granted the ability to spend more time than most in working against abortion. We each have our own job to do. Perhaps, for some of us, praying is all we can do.
Or blogging.
38 years of abortion. Over 50 million dead. No end in sight.
When are you going to be outraged? What are you doing about it?
Magic Kingdom
I don’t think I ever blogged about the trip we took to Disney 7 years ago. I wasn’t blogging back then (almost, but not quite). I did write about it for an obscure magazine, but I doubt if more than one or two random readers saw it.
It was, in a nutshell, hell. (The trip, not the article.)
Perhaps I will reprint that article here soon. I can look back and laugh.
Anyway, it all started with trying to take the kids on the ride It’s a Small World, and the meltdowns we had from the get-go on the morning of the first day of our vacation. Because of this, I insisted that the first ride on this trip be It’s a Small World.
There were no meltdowns.
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| Taking the ferry over. Note the short sleeves. It rained later, but Monday was our warmest day the whole time. |
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| When going to a large, public spot, we always take a photo of all the kids to help identify them should they get lost. Mary did not want to cooperate. |
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| It’s a Small World. No meltdowns necessary. |
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| Just inane, repetitive singing. Mary loved it. It made us all smile. |
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| Meltdowns came later. Even the 3 year old can’t figure out what her problem is. |
That first day was pretty crowded. There is a Disney Half-Marathon and Marathon which was the weekend before we went. You know who had run in it, because they wore medals around their necks. We saw Santa Claus, and he had a medal. FYI: it took Santa just under the 7 hour time limit to complete the marathon. Santa did not work for Disney. He was just taking a vacation after the busy season. He was not in uniform, but he did hand out Santa coins to the kids. I forgot to get his picture.
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| Her face needs cleaning, but her mom is on vacation. |
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| Katie. |
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| Never too old for a carousel. |
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| Much happier. |
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| Peter. |
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| Ready to win. |
Right after this ride, we got in line for the Flying Dumbo. We were almost up there when they closed it all down due to storms coming in. It poured. We saw lots of shows. I regretting leaving my jacket in the car.
We kept thinking maybe we should just leave, but we were so far away from the entrance.
And then the rain stopped.
Then we had meltdowns.
Then they stopped.
Then another kid had a meltdown.
And then it was so late that we decided it would be stupid not to stay for the fireworks.
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| She will make me delete this photo when she sees it. She wishes to destroy all evidence of her sourpussness. That way, when she’s 30, she can pretend that she was always perfect. But I’m on to her. |
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| The stockades. Just punishment. |
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| Swiss Family Robinson Tree House. Would be a nice picture except for the rear end of the man in line ahead of the kids. |
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| Finally on the Flying Dumbo ride. |
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| Pretty. |
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| Blurry, but nice. We’re waiting for the parade. I am quite chilly and really wishing I hadn’t left my sweater in the car. I seem to be the only one though. |
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| Bill got a good shot. One good shot. He took about 20. Fireworks are not easy to photograph. And you can never capture their essence, so why bother? |
The thing is, you can’t really do all of Magic Kingdom in one day. You have to come back. Have to.
But 11 hours at the park with little children is much more than normal humans can bear.
We took Tuesday off.
Vacation Tips
As I write, I am downloading 600 vacation photos to my hard drive. Soon I will deluge my blog with smiling happy faces enjoying the warm Florida sunshine as we relax and have the best time of our lives.
Right.
But first, I want to start off with some vacation tips. Certain aspects of our vacation were fabulous, nearly perfect. Planning in advance makes things less stressful and everything flows a bit more smoothly.
Vacation Tip #1: Save more than enough money for the trip. Vacations are expensive, especially when you go to a place like Disney. It is much better to not spend all the money you have saved than to not save enough and be upset that you don’t have enough to pay the bills. That way, when you splurge and go out for just ice cream and the bill is $68 (seriously), you will be annoyed, but not panicky.
Vacation Tip #2: Shop around for a great deal on everything. There are deals all around, but if you are military, the deals are really easy to find. Four day park hopper passes to Disney are available right now for $138. I think they are good through the end of October. You can buy them in Orlando at Shades of Green, or you can get them on post at the MWR facility that sells tickets to all sorts of things.
If you are a current or retired member of the Uniformed Services, a DoD civilian, or a Disabled Veteran (100%), or an adult dependant, you are eligible to book a hotel through the Armed Forces Vacation Club. They have deals that can not be beat. Space-A openings change frequently, so I checked monthly for 6 months before finally booking our place. Each facility is different, so you have to read the details, but twice we’ve used them and been more than happy. The place in Kissimmee, Florida, had 2 bedrooms and a pull-out sofa bed, a full kitchen and a washer and dryer. It cost us $349 (plus tax) for seven nights. Not $349 per night…it was $349 for the entire week.
Having a full kitchen helped to save money and time, and having a washer and dryer meant not needing to pack as many clothes and not having a mountain of laundry on our return. And staying in a condo meant we weren’t cramped.
Note for non-military: finding a place to stay that fits a large family is difficult. Several years ago when we went to Williamsburg, VA, I checked the club site and they had nothing available. However, I at least knew the name of several facilities in the area and made my own reservation without using the club. We had another 2 bedroom condo with kitchen and washer/dryer. It was more than the club price, but cheaper and roomier than a hotel room (2 hotel rooms). So the club site is an excellent resource for vacation condo names.
Vacation Tip #3: Make a packing list. And make a to-do list. I finally, finally, finally made an Excel spreadsheet that has generic lists for each person, plus reminders for things like cell phone chargers or Pepto Bismal. I also made to-do lists from things to do in advance like hold mail or last minute things like turning off the computer or taking out the garbage. To make things easier for us, I put all three boys’ lists on one page with a to-do reminder for their room (lock windows, close blinds, make beds), and I did a similar page for the girls. The older kids helped the younger kids get their things together, and they all knew what I expected their room to look like when they were done. Since the lists were generic, I crossed off things they did not need to pack. This was easier than making different lists for different types of vacations (winter boots vs. sandals). Note: check out the weather forecast for your location and pack for 10 degrees up and down. Trust me on this one.
The to-do list was extremely helpful to me, since I am often the one with a long list of things that need to get done in my head, while everybody else sits around and wonders why we haven’t left yet. Children who are motivated to get out the door can look at the list, see what needs to be done and pitch in. And I don’t have to assign jobs to my husband making me feel like a nag or get mad at him for doing nothing when he doesn’t have the slightest idea what needs doing. It just worked.
Vacation Tip #4: Each child packs their own backpack full of entertainment or comfort objects. One backpack only. If they are bored, it is their own fault. And no, 25 stuffed animals will not likely fit in one backpack.
Vacation Tip #5: Give each child a set amount of spending money. It might be $5 or it might be more, but it really keeps kids from whining about wanting snacks or souvenirs if they have to pay for it themselves.
Vacation Tip #6: Remember, if you are traveling with children, vacation does not mean “relaxing time” or “all fun all the time.” Leave images of a perfect family behind. It is enough that you are not going to the office or doing school or worrying about the cleanliness of the bathroom for a few days or a week. It is enough that you are lowering your standards on what constitutes a healthy meal or a reasonable bedtime. The point is to build your family relationships. You will still be the same people with the same limitations and imperfections. Little children will still get out of sorts with a different routine. Bigger children will still have mood swings. Parents will still have to discipline and may have less one-on-one time than they would at home with a proper bedtime and their own room. Focus on the end goal which is to just be a family together without the usual stressors and demands of life.
Vacation Tip #7: No matter where you are, bigger kids will want to do more or different things than little kids. Or boys will want to do different things than girls. Or mom or dad will want to spend their time differently. Be flexible and accommodating to as many people as possible. For us, Bill took the big kids to Epcot one day while I stayed home with the little kids and read. Everybody was happy. Trying to be all together all the time just won’t work for a large family of different genders and/or ages.
Off to Mass. Perhaps I’ll have time later to start posting photos. I can’t wait to see them myself.
Recovery
Mary has been sick all week long. On Tuesday, it was a low grade fever, but after that, the fever was very high – 104 degrees or more. At one point, the ibuprofen wasn’t keeping the fever at bay for the full 6 hours. Adding to my concern was this horrible snoring she developed which highlighted her ragged breathing (and kept me awake). I felt like a mother with her first infant – afraid that if I didn’t stand constant vigil, she would stop breathing or asphyxiate.
Since she has had more than a few ear infections this year, I decided to take her into the doctor on Friday to make sure this hadn’t become more than a nasty virus that needed to work itself out. Her ear were fine, but the poor girl had to suffer through a swab of her nose to check for the flu and a swab of her throat to check for strep. The rapid test was negative, but they decided to put her on antibiotics over the weekend while waiting for the not-so-rapid test results.
I’m not sure if it’s the drugs, or just time, but she is feeling much better today. Her weight yesterday was 29 pounds…down from 33 pounds the last time I took her in December. That’s a lot of weight to lose. But since she just asked for her third bowl of Cheerios, I think she’ll be back up in short order.
Last Sunday, we attended Mass at the shrine in Orlando, Florida. Afterward, we stopped by the gift store. Just inside the doors were statues including one of Mary holding the Child Jesus. He is reaching up and holding His Mother’s face on the soft underbelly of the chin. I pointed this out to my Mary, and she said, “Just like me!” She does this to me, all.the.time. It is her comfort spot, and it drives me nuts, especially when she starts pulling and pinching. She does that without thinking, and when I tell her to stop, she apologizes and then gently rubs me, which is almost as nerve-racking.
Because the poor thing was miserable this week, she spent most of her time in my arms, burning up. Her sleep was sporadic and light, and she was uncomfortable. Her hand was almost constantly on my chin, and my thoughts frequently turned to that statue. I wondered if I would be so annoyed if it were the Christ Child rubbing me. Remembering that statue was one of the things that got me through an unproductive week without losing my temper every other hour.
Thank God for cherry flavored liquid Advil, antibiotics, and a perfectly timed viewing of inspirational artwork.
Word Origins
Peter to friend: “It’s called a watermelon because it’s a melon and it’s made of water.”
Awed pause.
Peter to friend: “It’s called a cannonloupe, because it looks like a cannon.”
Awed pause.
Buzzkiller Mom: “It’s not a cannonloupe, it’s a cantaloupe.”
Reflective pause.
Peter to friend: “It’s called a cantaloupe, because it can’t…it can’t…it can’t lope!”
Whatever.
Home at Last
To fully appreciate Disney World, you need…
…the sense of wonder and marvel of a preschooler…
…the wild imagination of an elementary aged child…
…the love of adventure and thrills of a middle schooler…
…and the stamina of a 20 year old Marine.
(We were moderately successful.)
We took nearly 600 pictures. I shall only subject you to half of them.
After downloading…
…and finishing Harry Potter Year 6.
Travel Advisory
When your 5 year old has a meltdown at 9 am, to include phrases such as “I hate Disney,” it is probably an indication that said child needs a day off. Be thankful that he did it before you left the hotel and not at the park.
Note: the 5 year old has been happily playing with his older brothers’ LEGOs all morning, the ones they have nastily told him he may not touch, and neither he nor his 3 year old sister seem to mind at all that they are “missing out” on the “Magic.”
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When your 3 year old cries at 2 am, and you groggily get out of bed and imagine that the blurry path between you and the bedroom door is a queue with a feather pillow as a swinging gate at the end, it is probably an indication that you need a day off. Or at least more sleep.
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There is no single food kiosk at Disney that will please the palates of all 8 members of my family. Besides the obvious parent food vs kid food dilemma, the selections are generally so limited at the fast-food restaurants that somebody is bound to be unhappy. Better luck might be had at the sit-down restaurants, but the cost would be enormous. Fast-food eating with sharing of fries and drinks runs us $55-$65. The nicer places would cost at least $200.
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Staying in a suite with a full kitchen and bringing a cooler packed with home-cooked meals, lunchmeat, and even convenience food saves you big bucks. And honestly, a ham and turkey wrap followed by cheap store-bought chocolate chip cookies is healthier, yummier and more filling than fried food or popcorn.
But splurging on ice cream is always worth it.
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I love having a washer and dryer in my hotel room, even if they are so tiny I can only wash one outfit at a time.
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When looking at an extended forecast, remember that it is only a forecast, a prediction. Pack for temperatures ten degrees up or down. Just as it would be annoying to not be able to use the pool when the temps were unexpectedly mild, it is equally annoying to be freezing one’s nether regions off because the temps are cooler than predicted.
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If I’m not paying for it, I like the heat to be set at 74.
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There is no way to see everything at the Magic Kingdom in one day, at least not if you have little children in tow. Little children can only handle about 5 or 6 hours at an amusement park before becoming overwhelmed/exhausted/insane. It’s best to get out before the meltdown. If you want to see the fireworks at 8 pm, do not go to the park until long after lunch and maybe naps.
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Gifting your children with souvenir/snack money is a great way to eliminate older children’s begging for stuff. It’s amazing how stingy they become when it is their own cash they have to cough up for that really-cool-thing-strategically-placed-right-where-they-will-see-it. And the snacks brought from home taste much better than the ones sold at the park when the ones in the backpack are “free” and the cost of the ones at the kiosk induce heart-attacks in otherwise healthy people.
Note: this plan does not work with 3 year olds at all.
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Packing beer, gin, and tonic water is prudent on so many levels.
Random Procrastination from my Chores
Given the long list of things I have to do to prepare for an impending vacation (laundry, putting away Christmas decorations, calling the kennel), it was with amusement that I discovered myself vacuuming the garage. I’m sure there are many who will think that vacuuming the garage ever is sheer lunacy, but for every one of you, there is someone else nodding her head in agreement.
And for every one of those, there is someone else saying, “What’s the big deal? I vacuum the garage weekly.”
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Another really important task that absolutely had to get done before vacation was dropping off the various bags of items I’ve been assembling to give to Goodwill. As I furtively loaded the car, I impulsively grabbed the exersaucer and loaded it up too. I’m not sure if this means I’m (a) admitting I am done having children, (b) thumbing my nose at Murphy and his laws, or (c) sick and tired of the bulky thing taking up space in my garage. I’m leaning toward the last one.
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When I stopped at the recycling center, I learned that they no longer took glass. I rarely have aluminum cans, but always have some glass to recycle. When I bemoaned this fact to a long-time resident, her response was, “What recycling center?” I will never again feel guilty about tossing a cereal box in the trash bin.
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I don’t get 9 year old girls. They are foreign creatures, and I deny ever being one. Case in point:
“Katie, would you please play Play-Doh with Mary instead of doing your school work?”
Moan, whine and wail: “But then I have to clean it up! Why do I always have to clean it up? I don’t want to play Play-Doh with Mary!”
“OK, then. Fritz, would you please play Play-Doh with Mary instead of doing your school work?”
“Oh, sure!” For a 12 year old boy, the choice between Play-Doh and schoolwork is obvious.
Moan, whine and wail: “But I want to play Play-Doh with Mary! How come I never get to play Play-Doh with Mary?!”
Sorry…I thought “I don’t want to” meant “I don’t want to.”
My husband has explained to me that this behavior is typical of all females of every age. When you see him, ask him if he gets a good night’s rest on the couch.
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The 3 year old girl is doing her best to exhaust me. Frequently she interrupts my day to announce, “I have to go potty.”
“Then, GO,” I will say.
She will start to leave, but then will tum back and say, “You’re not coming, Mommy!” And she’ll wait for me to get up and come. If I’m not fast enough, she’ll do a little dance to show how urgently I need to move.
When there, I’ll try to help her pull down her pants. “I DO IT!” Fine. I’ll try to help her up on the pot. “I DO IT!” Fine. I’ll try to help her wipe. “I DO IT!” Fine. Pulling up her pants, washing and drying her hands: “I DO IT!” Fine.
But that’s only half the time. The other times, she needs me to do everything for her, and there’s no telling which mood she’s in. If I leave her independent self alone in the bathroom, she’ll call me back in. I’m beginning to think she just wants the company. Katie and Jenny tend to go to the bathroom together, another behavior I just don’t get. I generally manage to hit the restrooms without a partner. Maybe I can get Mary to ask her sisters to tag along instead of me.
But then I’ll probably hear moaning, whining and wailing. “I don’t want to!”
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It’s been a long time since I had a little 5 year old boy to school. Peter, who has always charmed me with his brilliance, is nevertheless still just a little boy. He’s not too happy with school, because I actually want him to sit down and do it. I watch him squirm and fidget and move up and down and all around, and it drives me nuts. For the first few months of the school year, I seriously thought there was something wrong with him. Jenny wasn’t like this; Katie wasn’t like this. But then I stopped to think. Jenny isn’t a boy; Katie isn’t a boy. Billy? Fritz? Oh, yeah, wiggles and wriggles big time.
I pity kindergarten teachers.
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Fritz had to write a ~700 word essay. He chose to write about the Greek gods.
Editing that paper was…painful.
I pity middle school teachers almost as much as I pity kindergarten teachers.
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And since I feel bad if I mention only 4 children in a random post, I have to add a few things about my other 2.
We did a morning chore swap, and now Katie and Jenny are emptying the dishwasher instead of Fritz and Peter. While I no longer have to help Peter differentiate between the big and small forks (which have different receptacles), I now have to guess in which drawer Jenny decides various utensils belong.
A friend loaned me the complete Harry Potter series, and I’ve worked my way up to the 4th year (I had read books1-3 previously, but I re-read them so I could remember what happened). Billy discovered the stash and dove right in. He now disappears for hours on end, and is up to the 3rd book (I need to get moving!). Unfortunately, I have to hide the book in order to get him to do chores, schoolwork, eat, go to the bathroom, play outside in the sunny, mild weather, etc. It’s a good thing breathing is an automatic thing.
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And now, back to work.
Reit This Way 