When your 5 year old has a meltdown at 9 am, to include phrases such as “I hate Disney,” it is probably an indication that said child needs a day off.  Be thankful that he did it before you left the hotel and not at the park.

Note: the 5 year old has been happily playing with his older brothers’ LEGOs all morning, the ones they have nastily told him he may not touch, and neither he nor his 3 year old sister seem to mind at all that they are “missing out” on the “Magic.”

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When your 3 year old cries at 2 am, and you groggily get out of bed and imagine that the blurry path between you and the bedroom door is a queue with a feather pillow as a swinging gate at the end, it is probably an indication that you need a day off.  Or at least more sleep.

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There is no single food kiosk at Disney that will please the palates of all 8 members of my family.  Besides the obvious parent food vs kid food dilemma, the selections are generally so limited at the fast-food restaurants that somebody is bound to be unhappy.  Better luck might be had at the sit-down restaurants, but the cost would be enormous.  Fast-food eating with sharing of fries and drinks runs us $55-$65.  The nicer places would cost at least $200.

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Staying in a suite with a full kitchen and bringing a cooler packed with home-cooked meals, lunchmeat, and even convenience food saves you big bucks.  And honestly, a ham and turkey wrap followed by cheap store-bought chocolate chip cookies is healthier, yummier and more filling than fried food or popcorn.

But splurging on ice cream is always worth it.

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I love having a washer and dryer in my hotel room, even if they are so tiny I can only wash one outfit at a time.

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When looking at an extended forecast, remember that it is only a forecast, a prediction.  Pack for temperatures ten degrees up or down.  Just as it would be annoying to not be able to use the pool when the temps were unexpectedly mild, it is equally annoying to be freezing one’s nether regions off because the temps are cooler than predicted. 

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If I’m not paying for it, I like the heat to be set at 74.

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There is no way to see everything at the Magic Kingdom in one day, at least not if you have little children in tow.  Little children can only handle about 5 or 6 hours at an amusement park before becoming overwhelmed/exhausted/insane.  It’s best to get out before the meltdown.  If you want to see the fireworks at 8 pm, do not go to the park until long after lunch and maybe naps.

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Gifting your children with souvenir/snack money is a great way to eliminate older children’s begging for stuff.  It’s amazing how stingy they become when it is their own cash they have to cough up for that really-cool-thing-strategically-placed-right-where-they-will-see-it.  And the snacks brought from home taste much better than the ones sold at the park when the ones in the backpack are “free” and the cost of the ones at the kiosk induce heart-attacks in otherwise healthy people.

Note: this plan does not work with 3 year olds at all.

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Packing beer, gin, and tonic water is prudent on so many levels.