Don’t forget to tie one on!

And stop by and say hi to The Kitchen Madonna who started it all.

Among the long list of questions asked at my initial OB appointment was if I had any hobbies or activities that would be affected by my pregnancy. With as straight a face as I could manage, I replied that my part-time job as a stripper was beginning to suffer.

New York wants to make strippers get a license to dance. I skimmed through this article which offers not much of interest to me, except for the quote that dancers at one club earn six-figures, which they don’t necessarily declare on their tax returns. Holy cow. How do you convince a twenty-something young woman that this is just not a good way to make money?

Press Release

Right now, women across the United States and the blogosphere are searching thrift stores, ebay, and their mother’s linen drawers for aprons to wear May 14th. Some are making their own. Wearing their aprons inside and outside of their homes, Apron Moms will celebrate their pivotal role in making a house a home.

As the search for domestic bliss continues, a search that includes cleaning and decluttering, cooking tasty nutritious meals, educating children, and the care and feeding of husbands, women will celebrate the difference they make in the lives of their families. They know an apron is like a uniform that conveys authority, unconditional regard, and motherly wisdom all at once. Apron Moms know aprons are about cooking and cleaning but they are also about emotional availablity, hospitality, and femininity.

On Monday, May 14th, apron wearing women will drop children off at school,
go to the post office and grocery store, and greet their families at the door
wearing their aprons. Some will go to their work outside of the home. But
regardless of where they spend most of their day, they will post pictures on
their blogs of the places they boldly wear their aprons.

There will be a virtual cocktail party at 5pm CST to giggle about our experiences, to toast the internet’s role in bringing us together, and to plan next year’s Apron Mom March on Washington.

The devil very well may wear Prada but authentically feminine women wear
aprons!

For further information, please email the Kitchen Madonna at kitchenmadonna@mac.com.

My husband is 2 years and 7 months older than I am. As he ages, and as his body begins to show that age, I hear the warning alarms for the rapidly approaching demise of my own youth.

Recently, he was diagnosed with arthritis in his knee. I guess it’s common among athletes to suffer early onset of this in particular joints that took a significant beating. Fencing and cross-country running seemed to have done it for him. Nevertheless, hearing the term “arthritis” – an old person’s problem – applied to your husband is a bit hard. On the one hand, there are days I feel quite old with my own aches and stiffness. On the other hand, I’m in my 30’s – I’m young! He’s in his 30’s – he’s young! Young people do not have arthritis.

Also recently, he has noticed difficulty in reading printed material. He knows it’s time to get his eyes checked and that he will likely be prescribed reading glasses. Now, besides arthritis, I can’t think of another problem that screams “old person” than the inability to see small print that is right under your nose. I’ve been teasing him a lot about it. We’ve been playing the “can you read this?” game.

For years, we’ve played the “can you see that?” game. I am horribly near-sighted. Without my glasses, objects three feet away are blurry. My husband, Mr. Perfect Eyes, has found this to be amusing and fascinating. He would ask me to describe my world as I would see it without corrective lenses. To him, it was incredible that clear white letters on huge green street sign were not only not readable, but that I couldn’t even discern that there were letters there at all. Average costs for LASIK surgery are about $2000 per eye. I’ve recently been considering starting a special fund to have this done. It would be nice to be able to see the clock on the bedside table.

Yesterday, I had my own eye exam. It’s been more than 18 months, and it was time for a bit of tweaking to my prescription. The doctor, in his list of questions, mentioned I was still a little young, but…am I having any trouble reading things? I told him about my teasing my husband for just this issue, and he severely advised me to stop laughing at him. When you need reading glasses, and I don’t say “if,” I say “when,” he will be laughing at you! Yes, doctor.

For now, though, thank goodness, I am spared the bifocals. Perhaps I’ll save my pennies and have that corrective surgery done just in time to replace my near-sighted lenses with far-sighted ones. And then the laugh really will be on me.

Me: Oh, it’s the fifth of May. Should I make something special to celebrate?

Bill: Coq au vin in honor of the French who won the war?

I served him burritos for lunch.

When Danielle Bean did her post last week about children and TV, there were some people who said that they didn’t even own a set. Some people were critical of these people and felt that children needed exposure to things like TV so that they don’t go off the deep end in TV viewing when they are older (or something like that).

My kids watch some TV, and I’m happy to have the chance to blog while they do it. But I see no problem with no-TV homes, either. I really don’t feel that TV is so important in our modern lives that the lack thereof will cause permanent developmental damage in our children, nor do I think that no-TV will result in TV OD in a newly independent adult. I have a curry-free home. I’m not overly concerned that my sons will seek wives from India to overcompensate for what I failed to provide them as children.

But one thing I know for sure is this: children who have no TV in the house would not tune into Disney and see hard-core porn instead. I would be devastated if this happened to my kids, and, whether my husband liked it or not, would never, ever subscribe to cable or satellite TV as long as I had children living at home. When one of my children “accidentally” hits another child, I sometimes detect a defensive attitude in the offender who says, “I said I was sorry.” I often say, “Sorry doesn’t take the pain away. You must be more careful and more aware of others around you.” No apology by the cable company can take away these images burned in a little child’s mind. I hope that every home affected by this had a parent right there able to turn the channel quickly. I know that I am often in the next room when my children are watching their “safe” programming. I may have to rethink how comfortable I am with that arrangement.

I am woman, hear me roar watch me make a rational choice.

Amen.

I’m sure you’ve all read about Limbo in recent days. But have you seen this blog post? The poor kids…prom fun squelched…worries about other dances…

Please keep in mind the blogger’s name!

I actually don’t like to wear t-shirts with words, slogans, pictures or corporate logos. But when going en masse to a large public venue like an amusement park, it is nice to have a “shut-em-up-before-they-even-open-their-mouths” option for apparel.

My sister sent me this link with this t-shirt:

Why do we have a large family? We’re trying to outnumber the liberals!

They really should make it in maternity sizes.

You have to have seen the Veggie Tales video, Rack, Shack, and Benny to be able to laugh at this story.

“We’re obviously surprised by the overwhelming response and offense people have taken,” said Semler, adding that the Holy Week timing was an unfortunate coincidence. “We are certainly in the process of trying to figure out what we’re going to do next.”

Surprised, huh? Come on, don’t they know by now that Christians have no sense of humor? Gosh, we’re almost as bad as the Muslims who get all offended when you desecrate a copy of the Koran. Sheesh, what is up with these fanatical types?

I don’t find the “artwork” amusing at all, but I’ll leave the ranting to others. In the meantime, you’ll find me singing:

Da bunny, da bunny –
Ooo – I love da bunny.

H/T: The Cafeteria Is Closed