Literature

Teacher: Shakespeare wrote two kinds of plays: comedies, which always have at least one wedding, and tragedies, which always have at least one death.

Teen: What about Henry V?

{brief silence}

Teacher: Shakespeare wrote three kinds of plays: comedies, which always have at least one wedding, and tragedies, which always have at least one death, and histories, which are historical.

Science

Teen: Does anything travel at the speed of darkness?

Nutrition

Teen: Who drank all the coffee?  Mom!  Can you make more coffee?

Elective: Halloween Costume Design

Teen: During lunch, can you sew my cape?

Teacher: You want me to work on my lunch break?

{downcast look}

Teen: Can I sew my cape?

Teacher: Uh, no.

(I definitely see some potential here for him learning to sew on my machine, but I’m expecting more fabric today for two other costumes, and I just can’t afford the learning curve this time.  Maybe I’ll have him, after Halloween, make a cape for Billy and learn that way.)