Convenient inconvenience

Fritz keeps losing pocket knives.  This past summer camp, he lost one of his dad’s.  It was, intentionally, an inexpensive knife, so it’s not a big deal, but for the frustration of having a son who is generally responsible, except in this one area.


Years and years ago, my husband and I had an ongoing argument about joining the NRA.  I was opposed to membership on the grounds that someday NRA membership rosters would become government “most wanted” lists.  I argued that NRA members would be the first ones to have their homes searched when guns were ultimately outlawed.  I preferred to present to the world a “normal” facade while hoarding a stockpile of weapons under the floorboards of my house.  My husband felt that the NRA would be the organization that would work hardest to prevent such a scenario and that membership would aid them in defending 2nd Amendment rights.  At some point, he did join the NRA, because he is a grown man who has a mind of his own and who only goes along with his wife’s paranoid ideas if it suits him.

Hopefully, if things ever get that bad, we’ll have some sort of e-Paul Revere sending texts: “The ATF are coming!  The ATF are coming!”

Anyway, dutiful bill-paying wife that I am, I make sure that his quarterly dues to the NRA are paid in full.  At some point, they were automatically charged to his credit card, but a compromised card led to a new number and the NRA sent us a paper bill when the charge to the old card was declined.  On the paper bill was the suggestion to have the dues automatically charged to a credit card, and the enticement that you could get a free pocketknife and flashlight if you did so.  I did so.  And we got a free pocketknife and flashlight.

Three months later, we received another paper bill with the exact same offer.  Even though last quarter’s dues had been charged to the credit card, they hadn’t set it up as an automatic thing.  I filled the form out again and a few weeks later, we received a package with a pocketknife and flashlight.

Three months later, we got another paper bill.

I can’t even remember how long this has been going on, but I’m mailing out yet another paper bill with the credit card information on it.  I think we have 9 more quarters to go before his Lifetime membership is all paid for.


It’s actually quite amusing to me to see how long this will go on.

My main hope is that Fritz stops losing pocketknives before they figure it out.

6 thoughts on “Convenient inconvenience

  1. Ha! I too, have an NRA pocket knife, but only one. It gets lost a lot, but usually turns up again three months later in a crate of camping gear. I got it while interning on a political campaign. The NRA held a fundraiser for my candidate, and another intern and I were sent to staff the event. So there we were, two 19-year-old women, and about eighty 30 – 70 year old men. I like my second-ammendment rights, but that was the most awkward three hours of leers and pick-up lines in my life. I can never use the knife without a little shudder of memory…

  2. My pocketknife policy is that if you lose yours or leave it out where little kids can get to it, you have to reread the whittling chip requirements.

  3. Very funny.

    You gave me food for thougt/paranoia with your reason for NOT joining the NRA. LOL!

  4. My dad always had tons of those NRA pocket knives hanging around on his dresser, I don't remember ever getting flashlights though.

  5. I think we pay yearly. I've never seen the pocketknife offer. Hmmm….

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