Coffee and Morons

Yesterday, I got up at 4 am and started the drive from Savannah to Atlanta at 440 am. I was tired. Driving when it is dark and even the birds are still sleeping is difficult to do without assistance. Of course, I had coffee. But I have found long drives require more than just caffeine to keep me alert.

The best thing to make me forget my warm cozy bed is good conversation. Unfortunately, this was a solo flight. The next best thing to having a good conversation is listening to someone else’s good conversation. Talk radio generally has plentiful discussions, many of them which can get your blood boiling. I scanned the airwaves. I heard stations from Chicago, Des Moines, Cincinnati, Charlotte and New Orleans. Sports stations. No help.

I finally gave up on Talk Radio and turned to the FM stations. If you can’t talk, and there’s nothing to listen to, good music is a good alternative. I found a station whose tag line was “Songs You Love to Sing Along.” Perfect. After Low Rider, they cut to commercials…and then static. Back to scanning.

Finally in the Atlanta metro area, I started listening to some morning shows. I hate morning shows. The first one lost me when they started guffawing about farts. I guess their audience is in the 10 to 14 year old age range (mentally). Of course the reason I hate most morning shows is that this tends to be how they are anyway.

{Classical music stations all have hosts with calm, soothing voices. There may be some bantering with the traffic guy or the weather gal, but for the most part, they play the music which is all the entertainment the audience wants anyway. Since most people listen to radio other than classical, I wonder if people really do want juvenile jokes and inane babble for their drive into the office.}

The show that got me on the last leg of the drive did have an amusing Cajun dialogue that made me laugh on the punchline. And I heard the weather forecast for the weekend. I don’t think I heard any music. The traffic report didn’t mean anything to me, since I don’t know the roads. And then there was the 3 minute pre-recorded monologue.

Mr. Monologue sounded like he was in his 50’s or 60’s. He said he had heard people complaining about taxes, and complaining that the government was taking away their rights. He said we pay federal, state, local and county taxes. He said we get certain benefits from these taxes (roads, etc). He suggested we think about how these governments take away our “rights.” He listed as many ways as he could think of that the government affected our daily life: we have to obey traffic laws; we have to get a driver’s license; we have to get our dog vaccinated. And that was about it. His point: what are we complaining about? We are free; this is a great country; the government is looking out for our best interests; stop the moaning.

My retort: Old Man, have you been living under a rock? Please stay home on election day.

On that last leg of my journey, I was alert and ready for action. Increased blood pressure is a wonderful thing.

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2 thoughts on “Coffee and Morons

  1. I can't listen to anything anymore except Catholic radio. All the rest makes me nuts (and yes, increases my blood pressure!).

  2. Yes, may he stay home.

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