decisions…decisions…

Would you drive an hour, late at night, to see your husband for a brief period only to tearfully say goodbye again (and drive home, even later at night)?

Or would you spend that time cleaning your house or baking cookies or blogging about how close he is, but you can’t see him, knowing that you’ll see him, for good, in another 40 hours?

Advice, please! If I’m going to see him on his layover, I need to arrange the babysitter!

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21 thoughts on “decisions…decisions…

  1. I would go see him, but would regret it soon after we departed. From my experience, you’re on a trajectory of emotions, getting more hopeful, happy, excited, etc. Seeing him will be the culmination of that trajectory – pure joy and love.

    If you see him now, it will be tainted by knowing you will have to separate soon. The drive home will be sad and laying in bed, alone with your thoughts, will be rough. All of the sadness, pain, etc when he first left will come roaring back. It will stay with you for days. When he does come home, those feelings will linger and interfere with the joy you so richly deserve.

    Although he is so close that it actually hurts, know that he is one step closer than he was yesterday, two steps closer than he was a week ago. That final step is almost here when you can erupt with joy, without lingering pain, and know there will be no good-byes any time soon.

    Just my thoughts.

  2. Go and greet him! Be jooyful and rested (if you can before you leave on the trip.) It's quiet time for both of you — just the two of you and you both deserve this time alone — and it's nothing like the looking at a long separation.
    Your ride home will be filled with knowing he's going to be home soon and an awareness of what needs to be done to make the next move.
    He'll be tired you'll be joyful and you both will have each other without littles
    If it's too long a ride home that night stay in a motel. This might be a little quiet and a feeling of both of you being special before Christmas, family, move etc.

  3. I would go! Its only an hour drive and I think it would be nice to break this long time of seperation. And surprising him and seeing his face woud be worth it, to me.

    I've surprised my hubby at airports before and his delight is always worth it.

  4. That's a tough one. I think I'd wait. We soldiers' wives, we experience the lowest of lows, being apart from our beloveds so often and so long and with no certainty of ever seeing them again. But on the flip side, we get the highest of highs in the reunion. I remember when we lived in Germany, most of our post deployed to Kosovo. Not David, but most others. When they were getting ready to redeploy, the atmosphere on post, the very air, was charged with excitement and anticipation. Maybe I noticed it more as a physical force with a life of its own because I was outside of it. Anyway, I think if you went to see him early, you'd be robbed of the anticipation and the intense joy that is your only reward for these long months of suffering. Were it me, I wouldn't go.

  5. I would go. When mine was deployed to 2nd time, he came back to the states a couple of times for conferences and meetings, neevr in Atlanta, of course!! Twice, I flew to meet him – once for just a day. It was worth it. Just seeing him and having that brief time with him kept me going. I know this is a little different, but I agree with Amy and Lillian – it would give you some special time just the two of you and would be a great surprise for him. I don't think you would be too sad to say goodbye, knowing that you would be completely reunited as a family in less than 2 days. Do it!!

  6. tough one! Search your heart.

    I can see merit for both sides of the coin. That reunion will only happen once, so do you want it with or without the kids? But seeing him sooner is like sneaking down early on Christmas morning.

    Prayers for you.

  7. Yes,
    I would go see him.
    You two could have a private reunion. That way when he comes home for good, the kids can have him to rejoice over and you can be in the background a little having already said hello again.
    Congratulations on him being so close no matter what you decide.

  8. If you can get a sitter, I would go, just so you can have that time alone with him to greet him first.

    Of course, your ride home would be a little sad, but I keep thinking it's time alone for your thoughts, and you can be planning his complete return with the whole family.

    I'm just so excited that he's almost here!

  9. I would go just to see his smile, a kiss, hug and to smell him, but that's just me. Ps. Im crying as I write this. :0) Im very happy for you Michelle!
    -Jenny :0)

  10. I would go see him.

  11. My husband just got home. I could have met him getting off the bus early in the morning but chose not to. I didn't have a babysitter so dragging the kids out of bed only to have them get cranky later in the day didn't sound like a great option. Also, we would only be able to hang out for an hour or so, and then we'd have to leave.

    I met him, instead, at lunch time. They still couldn't go home because they were waiting for the last truck with equipment to come in. As we sat in the office and waited, it was getting past my daughter's nap time, and we hadn't eaten lunch. My husband looked at me and said, “Well, you could go, but then I'd go crazy.” We stayed, until he could leave with us.

    I think it might be harder on the guys to briefly say hi and then leave. Once they're out of danger part of what we've been longer for has already been accomplished. We already feel better. For them all they want is to get home, and they won't be even partly satisfied until they are with us.

    It's a tough call, and you have to do what's best for both of you.

  12. Cleaning and cookies, are you crazy girl? Go, Run, Now!

  13. I would totally go. But I'd also wished I'd have waited. Knowing this, though, I'd still go.

  14. As someone who has never been in this situation and has no place even commenting on this…I would wait, get plenty of sleep so you and Bill can stay up until the wee hours of the following morning if you want and start making up for all the quality time you've missed. Save the kids and yourself from undue stress created by scrambling for a sitter and driving late at night (in horrible traffic, apparently, according to my husband who works in c-ville).

    That “so close yet so far” feeling must be horrible…I'm gonna keep praying for you until I see the big happy reunion post on your blog. God bless!

  15. I'd probably go, and then regret it for several weeks. The fact is that 40 hours will seem like hell, whether you see him for that hour or not. But, the few hours after that hour will be the lowest part of your week.

    Good luck deciding! I'm so glad it's almost time!

  16. Hi Michelle! Okay, this is what I'm thinking….what do you think Bill would like?? Love ya and praying for you guys!

  17. I would go! The sooner to see him and smile at and touch–the better!

    I'm doing a little happy dance for you!

    Donna

  18. I think I would WANT to go, but unless some miracle babysitter fell in my lap, I'd probably end up waiting and getting my home in order. But I havn't been separated from Butch for more than a week our whole lives together…so I don't know. God Bless!

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