Dear Large Corporation,

I know you think having a computer voice pretend to be a live receptionist seems like a good idea. I know you think that it would be so much easier for a customer to say “cancel account” and then say “345652345” when prompted for an account number instead of pressing all those numbers. But you failed to consider my home.

My home is never quiet. It’s not that it’s really noisy, but there is almost always background noise. Right now I have an infant gurgling on the floor next to me. She’s not crying or upset. She’s not even screeching for joy. She’s just practicing her vocalizations and exploring her range.

Unfortunately, she’s just loud enough that even if I cover the mouthpiece of the phone and turn away, your automated system is unable to block out the sound of her. Your computer keeps interrupting me and asking me if I would please repeat the same information over and over again. “I’m sorry, I didn’t understand you,” I hear. Of course not. I can’t understand the baby either.

Please consider a dual system where the customer has a choice. I understand that speaking might be preferred for some people, but it’s just not working for me.

10 thoughts on “Dear Large Corporation,

  1. Dear measly consumer, You must subscribe to the notion that the customer is always right.Bwahahahahaha.Sincerely,Large Corporation

  2. LOL Michelle! The worst is when we are driving frantically to the airport, realize we don’t know which gate our flight takes off from, and I have to practically muzzle my kids while the automated woman of hipness “Did I get that right?” is so constantly NOT “getting” it right, and unless we park the car and I meander out into a field…. 🙂Yes. They need a new system.

  3. Oh funny Michelle, I’ve been there nine million times! “I’m sorry, I didn’t understand your response.” I’m so misunderstood!

  4. LOL. Nice. I hate those things.

  5. This is how i feel every time I have to call Tricare! Drives me insane!

  6. I just hit different combinations of 0, #, and * until I find a real person. Except Rooms To Go. For them, just keep pressing 1, over and over, and over again.

  7. Oh, and then the child will hit just the right note to make the computer think you <>are<> pressing a number and get your information all wrong again. LOL

  8. That is one of my biggest customer complaints. Those things are IMPOSSIBLE to manage with a busy household!!Glad to know I’m not the only one.

  9. Jennie and I share the same strategy. Or, if it’s voice-activated, sometimes I just say “Help. Help. Help” over and over until the system decides to transfer me to whatever they’re calling their customer service reps today…

  10. I can’t stand those either. I have to admit, I always feel like an idiot talking to the computer system.

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