The Stockings

The final product

Army Christmas Stocking

ACU camouflage pattern

$20 plus shipping and handling

This is what it looks like with the US ARMY tape on the top velcro and a unit patch on the bottom velcro. Those are not included.

This is what it looks like with “stuff” in it. The “stuff” is not included.

Email me (on sidebar) if you want one. Lead times depend on how well my kids behave over the next week. All proceeds will go directly to a worthy military family (mine).

Angoraknitter and Jennie can claim free ones for their hubbies because they regularly leave such nice comments on my blog (email me your address, ok?).

2009 Updated link with new photo

My husband, my hero

When Bill was deployed to Kosovo in 2003, we lived in a wholly civilian neighborhood. Most people I knew did not know one single other person in the military – not a cousin or a nephew or even a brother of a friend.

When things went wrong with the house or household appliances, I first tried calling friends to see if they wouldn’t mind loaning their husbands to come and take care of this or that. These were really good friends who helped me tremendously while Bill was gone and who would have gladly sawed off their husband’s left arm if it would have alleviated some of my suffering. But in response to my request to fix a storm door, they ALL said, “He’s just not handy like that.” I couldn’t believe they accepted that excuse.

Bill is not afraid of inanimate objects.

So when I pushed the button to start the dryer this morning and it made a horrible sound and emitted a burning smell, I fled to my brave knight and petitioned his assistance. He put down his freshly poured bowl of cereal and came to see what was the matter. I demonstrated the dryer’s bad behavior, and he (God bless him) immediately, although a bit grumpily, motioned to begin battle. Soothed by his confident and calm demeanor, I bade him finish his breakfast first.

After eating and changing out of his pajamas, he took apart the machine to discover that a pencil had gotten sucked in – probably through the lint trap – and had jammed the belt. Can you imagine the jubilant cheers that arose upon news of his triumphant victory? Had I had fresh flowers, I’d have thrown them at his feet or possibly woven them into a crown. The bleak threat of hauling loads of wet clothes to a laundromat to dry was dissipated in a moment and there was joy in all the land.

At least in my neck of it!

Do you have a MOOS-stash?

Under normal circumstances, I and most people I know pronounce the word “mustache” as “mus-STASH.” For a few weeks now, Fritz has been working on memorizing The Children’s Hour by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow which includes this lovely line:

Do you think, O blue-eyed banditti,
Because you have scaled the wall,
Such an old mustache as I am
Is not a match for you all?

When I first read it, it seemed more flowing to soften the “uh” sound to an “oo” so it came out more like “moos-STASH.”

“MOOS-stash?” asked Fritz.

“Yeah, mus-STASH. He’s defining himself by one feature on his face. It’s a literary technique…blah blah blah,” said Teacher-Mom.

“MOOS-stash? MOOS-stash!”

Yes, all he really cared was that he was now at liberty to pronounce a word differently. And now all my children, for weeks it’s been going on, look for excuses to use that word.

Whenever they drink milk, a more-than-once-a-day occurrence, they ask each other, “Do I have a MOOS-stash?” “No,” comes the reply, “do I have a MOOS-stash?”

“Daddy should grow a MOOS-stash!”

“Hey, the UPS driver has a MOOS-stash!”

I’m afraid to take them out in public lest they single out every man with facial hair and talk about him in loud voices with odd-sounding words!

ACU Christmas stockings

I’m almost ready to go:

I’ve got 30 yards of ACU fabric, 30 yards of faux fur, and 25 yards each of 1″ and 4″ wide gray Velcro.

We couldn’t find our stash of 550 cord, so I need to buy some of that, and I also need more white and gray thread.

Bill took in a sample stocking today sans Velcro (it only arrived here an hour ago). I’m waiting for the green light to begin the tedious task of cutting.

I should have photos posted tomorrow and a final price. I need to time myself making them to evaluate my labor. The biggest pain is sewing through 4 layers of faux fur!

The PX is selling ACU pattern stockings for $18. I did a recon today, after my husband alerted me to this possible threat to my business. No faux fur. Big plastic pocket in the middle for a wallet sized photo of your “Most Valuable Patriot.”

I’m not knocking it.

But mine is way cooler.

2009 Updated link with pricing/photo

Updated for 2011: I’m still selling these, folks.  I can make them left or right facing.  They are $20 + $2 to cover the cost for Paypal + $5.20 S&H.  Just send me an email or leave a comment.

It’s in the DNA…

…it must be. How else to explain my 5 year old staring at a closet full of clothes and wailing, “I have nothing to wear!”

Today’s big event: sitting around the house relaxing. What’s a girl to do? Why is this mother so very unsympathetic with her plight? After all, one must be properly attired. You never know what the day may bring.

Ah, she’s settled on her Green Bay Packers cheerleading uniform. Perfect.