04.05.09
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New Month’s Resolution for April

Yes, I know it’s the fifth of the month, and I never even did one for March (I had one in my head, I just never posted it), but I am finally getting around to this.

Unless you have experienced it yourself, it is impossible to convey the stress that is involved in the few months before a soldier expects to deploy. Add to it the uncertainty of exactly when (a date and a time) that the soldier will physically depart and also the sudden learning of obligations (trainings) that he will have to do beforehand (away from home), and his time left begins to seem very very short.

Heck, it is very short.

Oh, and then there is this psychological thing called detachment. It’s an emotional defense that has human beings trying to cope with an impending loss by acting as though the loss has already occurred. It stinks.

Anyway, chief among my anxieties is the thought that Bill won’t be around to do any little projects that come up, so, unfortunately for him, I’m listing “things that must be done before July” like installing a clothesline and organizing the garage. And since I want to try to enjoy the last few weeks he’s here by doing fun stuff like Busch Gardens (still allowing service members and families in for free) and Colonial Williamsburg, it’s really “things that must be done before June.” And since in May, we have Katie’s First Holy Communion and my entire family coming in as well to simultaneously celebrate my parent’s 40th wedding anniversary, my sister and her family staying for another week having flown all the way from Alaska, and then Bill leaving directly after that for a week of training, it’s really “things that must be done before May.”

So, April will be a busy month with lots of organizing and cleaning. My hopes are to do the closets in the master bedroom, the storage area (with a weight bench that needs to be put together – we’ve been here for 9 months now) and the garage which are all areas where I need Bill’s help. I don’t know if we’ll be able to do it all, but I hope so.

04.04.09
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DO the red, SAY the black

Most Fridays this Lent, we’ve gone down to the military chapel on post for a soup dinner and stations of the cross. Last night, we had friends over for dinner (corn chowder and fish sticks – high class gourmet) and then the dads did baby duty while the moms took the older children to church for a plenary indulgence triple: confession, stations, and Mass.

The Friday evening Mass at my church is a Novus Ordo Latin Mass. This was my first experience with any Latin Mass, but because it was Novus Ordo, I wasn’t completely lost. The Liturgy of the Word was entirely in English, and the order of the Mass was familiar. I’ve been studying Latin for a few years with my students, so I know some stuff (Pater Noster, Sanctus).

Nonetheless, I spent a good deal of time flipping around the missal trying to keep up. And my stuttering, struggling Latin was no match for the ladies to my right who rattled off prayers with fluent ease. I’m still completely intimidated by the thought of a TLM, but last night wasn’t too bad. I can project that after a handful of times, it would get to be much easier.

And my sympathies go out to any converts or visitors to the Mass who can’t make heads or tails of the English missal. Despite being a visual person, I think it might have been better if I had just closed the missal and prayerfully followed along instead of trying to vocally keep up.

04.04.09
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Something I needed to read

“The hearts of human beings,” says Nicholas Cabasilas, “were made great enough to contain God himself.” If they do not contan the Uncreated they will turn their desire toward created objects, and then only nothingness can spring forth, for every person is a gaping space waiting to be filled with God.

Oliver Clément (from Magnificat‘s Meditation of the Day)

04.01.09
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Follow up

Although we made it to the zoo on Wednesday, we did not make it to the cherry blossoms. Peter woke up in the middle of the night screaming that his “knee” hurt. The following morning, he woke up again with the same complaint, except when questioned he said “ear” not “knee.” I was able to get him an appointment at 2 pm, and sure enough he had a double ear infection.

Maybe we’ll try for Sunday via the metro.

Last week, I took Billy to the pediatric endocrinologist at Walter Reed. This is a follow up from nearly two years ago. Same doctor. At the beginning of the appointment, she said, “So, you’re concerned about his growth?” I said, “No, actually, I’m not.” And then she remembered me.

I had taken Billy last month for a routine sports physical, and the pediatrician had ordered a follow up on blood work and a bone scan. This was great, because the endocrinologist had all that info already. Everything looked fine (the pediatrician had told me he would only call if there was a problem). Interestingly, the bone scan indicated that Billy’s bone growth was of that of a 6 year old. That, actually, is a great thing.

As a 9 year old, he is under the 5th percentile for height. They would predict that he would be a very short man.

As a 6 year old, he is in the 95th percentile of height. They would predict that he would be a very tall man.

Her conclusion? He might end up 5′ tall…or he might end up well over 6′ tall. In reality, he will likely be average height just like his dad, which is what we had been saying all along.

She said he is likely just a “late bloomer” and said that unless any other dramatic changes in his growth occur (he fails to grow at the expected pre-puberty average rate) she would not need to see him again unless he failed to reach puberty by the “late bloomer” latest of 14 years. Can you say woohoo?

When this kid towers over me, I will laugh and laugh.

03.28.09
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Fverishly hot date

Last week, Bill and I had a babysitter lined up. At the last minute, I had to cancel. Petey was throwing up.

{This reminds me of a similar situation years ago. Bill and I were going to a formal event that was hours away from our house. One of the boys got sick that day – high fever. Bill went alone. At the event, someone inquired about me, and Bill explained the situation. The person seemed confused as to why a sick child would prevent my coming. I’m still confused about their confusion.}

Today, Bill and I have a babysitter lined up. Dinner. Grocery shopping (hey, we’re an old married couple, grocery shopping is romantic…and necessary).

Last night, I told Bill that nobody was allowed to get sick. If they got sick, I would simply have to kill them. Dead bodies require less maintenance than live, sick bodies.

This morning, Bill wasn’t looking very good. He expressed fear for his life – he’s feeling a bit sick.

I don’t care if he has to excuse himself to go to the bathroom to vomit. We’re going out.

Fortunately, he’s not throwing up. Yet.

If he’s too sick to eat, we’ll save money, right?

03.27.09
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Bloomin’ Flowers and Trees

There are about a dozen clusters of daffodils scattered on my property. They are lovely.

I am certain that the tulips I planted at my last home are preparing to bloom soon. I do hope that the family who lives there now is enjoying them as much as I did.

There is something about spring. Even a coldish day seems a bit warmer if there are sunny, smiling, yellow flowers waving at you.

The one small clump of crocuses are already gone. I am making a mental note to plant more of those for next year. It is always good to see a glimmer of purple peaking out from the snow or mud.

*******

As we drive around, the kids are quick to point out any “blossom trees.” They are my favorite, so they say. They don’t realize that they are noticing perhaps a half dozen completely different trees. They do know that I have dragged them down to the Tidal Basin every spring that we have lived in the DC area to see the cherry trees in full bloom.

They don’t know that I regularly check out the latest updates on peak bloom and plan accordingly. Peak time is expected for between April 1st and 4th this year. It really really is worth the trip and the crowds. Really. Photos can not do the scene justice.

The kids reminded me that Billy threw up the last time we tried to see the cherry blossoms. I hope we have none of that next week.

We did drive past the Jefferson Memorial on our way to Walter Reed on Wednesday (another story). The ring of trees around the Basin had a faint tinge of pink. My heart leaped. We already have a trip to the Zoo scheduled for Monday, the 30th. It’s a few days before peak, but I just don’t want to plan to miss two days of school next week. I’ll head over there after the Zoo (it’s not too much out of the way) and maybe have a picnic dinner under a canopy of white and pink. If the blooms disappoint (even a bit before peak, I find that very doubtful), we can always go back on Sunday.

03.23.09
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My favorite charity

With all the scandals regarding “Catholic” charities giving money to not-so-Catholic causes, I am very wary of giving any money to any organization that hasn’t been fully vetted. And when I do have extra cash (OK, that is never, but round about this time every year, I get a tidy sum from my tax return) this is the charity I prefer to give to. I’ve met the woman who started it; I know one woman who works there; they send me a hand-written thank you note; and they include my family in their rosary. It really doesn’t get more personal (or more “vetted”) than that. Bill and I were discussing if we should split the amount we were giving away between Visitiation Home and another charity – perhaps Wounded Warrior. After I found this video, I am reminded why I never need to look for another charitable cause again.

03.20.09
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Words Matter

“I think it’s important to see that words hurt and words do matter.”

– The chairman of the Special Olympics, Tim Shriver, on the President’s poor choice of language in describing his bowling skills.

It was only last month that the President made offhand remarks about Jessica Simpson looking fat.

Senator Grassley says that AIG executives should commit suicide – and then takes it back when he comes under heat. He “didn’t mean it like that.”

If I cared to spend an hour, I could come up with probably a dozen more recent examples of careless talking.

Words do matter. I thank my father for teaching me to always mean what I say and say what I mean. Boy, would he give you the third degree. And no squirming away with a lame, “But, Da-ad! You know what I mean!” He would insist that he didn’t, and make you explain yourself. It was much simpler, really, to just say it right the first time.

I excuse people all the time for careless talking, but I admit that I do so with a condescension that I try to mask. Out of charity, I keep my mouth shut, but inside I’m analyzing why someone would talk a certain way: lack of education, lack of experience, lack of compassion. A big pet peeve? Using the term “retarded” to mean “stupid.” When I was in high school, my quick retort to that was always, “My brother is retarded, but he would never do something that dumb.” I never had someone repeat that term in front of me, and I’d like to think that they probably quit for good. After all, it is rather juvenile.

But apparently, the President never met someone like me, so he never learned that saying what basically amounts to “I bowl like a retard” is, well, juvenile.

I so want the leaders of my government to act like grown ups.

Words matter. This is why we hush our children when they say mean things and make them say they are sorry. This is why we ban “bad” words like “stupid” and “hate”. This is why we teach them to say “I don’t care for it” instead of “This food is disgusting.” This is why we we suggest “I am angry” as an alternative to “I wish you were dead” and certainly as an alternative to “You should go kill yourself.”

The lessons that the President should have learned as a child are being taught to him now. It’s a hard knock and embarrassing way to learn, but I hope he studies well. And perhaps he will consider leaving the joking to Leno.