03.05.10
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Sleeping on the couch

While my husband was deployed (as in, not living with me and the children for six months), I took over his job (one I thrust upon him) as Awards Chair for Billy’s Cub Scout Pack. Once a month I headed to the Scout shop and bought all the awards for all the boys in the pack and then filled out the necessary forms and cards. Once a month, things were a little extra hectic. No big deal. Organizations like Scouts rely heavily on volunteers, and that was one way we could do a big job without a daily or weekly commitment.

That pack was a very large pack and sometimes the awards were pretty expensive. I could ask the Treasurer for an advance of funds to purchase awards, or I could get reimbursed after the fact. The smart thing would be to get the money in advance, and I did once, I think. But, honestly, I never saw the guy who was the Treasurer. Nor am I really good at that sort of pre-planning. So, usually, I would use my credit card and then I would mail the receipts with a self-addressed stamped envelope to the Treasurer who would, at some point, not necessarily very quickly, mail me a check. I am fortunate in that we could afford this inefficient system. I do not recommend it, though.

One of the last things I did before we moved was put one last lingering receipt in the mail. It was for less than $50, which is not going to break my bank, but is certainly an amount worth the trouble to get returned. The check finally came in the mail today. Fine.

What gets me is not the length of time it took to get the check. No, what gets me is the message scrawled on the OUTSIDE of the envelope: “I miss you!!” (His exclamation points, not mine.)

Did I mention my husband was deployed while I did this job?

Dude, you’re blowing my cover.

Ahem. Yes. Well. That looked just peachy to my husband as you might guess. Really, what was he thinking?

03.02.10
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I, Naked

I’m not a big fan of Pull-Ups, mainly because they are expensive and, if you’re trying to train a child to use the toilet, wearing a diaper is counter-productive. However, if you’re not trying to train a child to use the toilet but she refuses to wear diapers, the cost of Pull-Ups might be worth it to avoid puddles on the floor if those pretty little princesses on the front convince her to stay covered.

My life right now is a little messy. “Mary, put on your diaper,” I’ll demand. “No, I, Naked,” she’ll respond. Well, hello, Naked.

The fact is, it is time to bite the bullet and train her. I really don’t like potty-training.

I am amused by all the resources available to help a parent decide if the child is ready to be potty-trained. We don’t wonder if it’s time to teach a child how to use a fork or spoon. We don’t ask all our friends if our child is old enough to be quiet in church. We don’t look for signs to indicate that our child is ready to use words like “please” and “thank you.” We just do it. Raising children is a process, not an event.

Experience with my kids has taught me one thing about toilet training: it is not so much the child who needs to be ready…it is the parent. Many people criticize the EC crowd by saying, “The child isn’t trained, it’s the parent who is trained.” Perhaps. I’m not jumping on the EC bandwagon, but I would like to point out that these parents are not changing diapers, right? As I find out just how quickly I can dash from the dining room table to the bathroom with a naked toddler in my arms, I fail to see how the training process isn’t parent conditioning as well, no matter the age you begin.

It would be nice if kids trained themselves. My daughter, Katie, did when she was just 2. It was great. Most kids eventually will. You might have to wait 5 or 6 years for that, though. And honestly, if diapers were socially acceptable, I think my older boys would prefer them to actually having to stop playing baseball or riding their bikes or chasing bad guys. Girls at some point prefer cleanliness. Boys, at least mine, prefer convenience.

Sometimes moms prefer convenience, too. That’s where I find myself right now. Toilet training is work, and I just don’t want more work at the moment. Or so I think. This toddler who presents me with stinky diaper in hand is surely not making my life easy. So I have put together a quiz to help myself and other moms decide if now is the time to begin training. Give yourself one point for every “yes” and a half point for every half yes.

1. Are you tired of changing diapers?

2. If you use primarily disposable diapers, are you eager add $100 a month or so to another line item in your budget? If you use primarily cloth diapers, would you like to have more hours in the week to do something other than laundry?

3. Is your child refusing to wear diapers (or screaming in agony if you force the issue)?

4. Do you have the patience of a mule? If no, can you fake it?

5. Do you have absolutely nothing to do and nowhere to go for the next week or two? If no, do you have room in your vehicle for a kid potty and five extra outfits?

6. Do you think bribing rewarding your child with candy is a good way to get results?

7. Is partial or complete nudity of the trainee socially acceptable to all members of your household? If no, do you mind doing an extra load of wet and soiled clothes every day for the next week or two or three?

8. Do you have only tile and/or wood floors in your home? If no, do you own a steam cleaner? If no, is the outdoor temperature above 70 degrees? If no, do you have the patience of a mule without faking it as well as a supply of rug cleaner?

9. Can you run 20 feet in 10 seconds at the first indication of a need to “go”?

10. Are you prepared to observe closely and to drop everything the instant you hear a whispered “potty”, see a child grab the crotch area, or notice that particular look on a child’s face?

11. Do you know the location of every public bathroom for every single store or outdoor venue you plan to attend in the next few weeks?

12. Do you own a large supply of worn towels or rags?

Scoring

Less than 4 points: If you have children, they are still infants. Please realize that kids are messy. You need to budget for a steam cleaner and save those burp cloths for many future spills.

4 – 8 points: You like the idea of having trained children, but aren’t ready to deal with the mess and inconvenience. Inevitably, you and your child will have to do this, but now is not yet the time. Work on patience, stock up on cleaning supplies and start noticing where the public toilets are.

More than 8 points: You are physically and mentally prepared to dive into potty training. It’s not going to just “happen” miraculously, so get to it already!

I scored a 10, so I think I know what I’ll be doing for the next few weeks.

02.27.10
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Not sold

After the mop conversation last week, I became intrigued by the steam mops mentioned by several commenters. They sounded like a great deal. They used only water and killed germs with their heat. The water was internal, so no buckets for the toddler to splash around in. They were mops, so no hands-and-knees cleaning. I went to Amazon, which offers customer reviews, and looked at several models. It doesn’t matter which one I picked, because I think my thoughts will be the same.

My new steam mop came yesterday. I immediately stopped everything to assemble it and try it out. Yes, it mopped the floor. I am sold on the idea of using a mop to clean. I definitely covered the large area I need to cover in a short period of time. In fact, I mopped and re-mopped and kept mopping until the water/steam ran out and probably did the floor about three times in the time it would normally take me to do it once by hand. Nice.

Yes, the steam mop got hot. But. In order for the tiles to get hot, in order for the germ-killing steam to be effective, you need to keep the mop in the same place for about 10 seconds. The directions even suggest only doing this in very germy places like near the toilet. Otherwise, you spend way too much time mopping your floor, bit by bit.

I am definitely not going to stand around waiting for the steam to kill off germs when I can use a cleaning solution to kill them faster. I know some people do not prefer harsh chemicals, so the steam mop may be right for them. But I’m the sort of person who thinks bleach is a wonderful thing (bring it on, I say). Since for me, the biggest draw to the steam mop was the killing of germs, but the killing of germs is time-consuming with a steam mop, the steam mop loses out when compared to an ordinary mop and a bucket of Lysol floor cleaner.

One other major drawback was the electric cord. In order to do the areas I have, I needed to use at least 3 different outlets. That is extremely inconvenient and annoying.

Also, some people raved about the steam mop cleaning up sticky things. I tried several different areas. Just going back and forth over an area (scrubbing) didn’t do it. But holding the steam mop over the area for it to get hot enough, and it did do a great job of cleaning stickiness. So I will grant you that convenience.

I’m not saying that steam mops are bad. But they cost a lot of money and their benefits, for me, are not worth it. I’ll be sending mine back today and heading out to buy some other kind.

02.26.10
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Involving Children in the Way of the Cross (Part I)

Last Friday I posted a Stations of the Cross for Children. That’s the “what” of doing stations. I also want to address the “how” and the “why”. Today, a bit on the “how.”

You really can’t do the Stations without stations. Traditionally, there are 14 stations, each representing a step on the road to Calvary: Jesus Falls the First Time, Jesus is Stripped, Jesus is taken down from the Cross. When praying with children, I like to include a 15th station: Jesus Rises from the Dead. It’s nice to end on a definitively optimistic note (grown ups can handle an implied hope). Your “stations” or stops can be as simple as the number, but children really need something more vivid.

I have these prints, which Bill says he had in his classroom when he went to Catholic school way back when. They are colorful, and not too violently graphic. A friend of mine has the same ones, and she has them on the walls of her home year round. I prop mine on chairs on Friday evenings.

Buying a set of stations is nice, but this is also a wonderful opportunity for your children to be creative. My old homeschool group does a stations one Friday every Lent and families pick a station for which they are responsible. Last year, the stations were dioramas with various mediums. LEGOs were popular. Dolls. Clay models. Some were quite large. Several years ago, I used shoe boxes (post new Easter shoe shopping) and had the kids make shadow box dioramas.

This year, I think that homeschool group is doing “live” stations. The students will dress up for the different scenes. The youth group at another parish I belonged to did that for the community stations as well. It’s very nice, and definitely keeps the attention of even young children. Of course, that’s not very practical for a single family.

Two-dimension art is excellent too. Iconography is meant to be done prayerfully. My children enjoy drawing their own stations while listening to Gregorian chant. I enjoy the hour of peace and quiet. I planned to upload a few of the drawings my children have done, but my scanner refuses to cooperate. As soon as I get that fixed, I will update this page.

Whether you have the children create their own 2D or 3D stations or have them act them out, they can not help but think about the sufferings of Christ. And if you use their dioramas or drawings as you pray them in your home, they will have a sense of ownership that will connect them more closely to the meditation.

02.25.10
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Another day, another milestone

Ten years ago, I was an exhausted new mother, again. We’re feeling very celebratory here today and are doing Homeschool Light.

Last year, Billy’s birthday was on Ash Wednesday, so Mardi Gras partying was all for him. This year, Bill won’t be able to be home tonight, so we had cupcakes last weekend. You know you have a Lenten birthday when your mom puts out exactly enough cupcakes for the members of your family. Leftovers went into the freezer and are right now awaiting frosting. Conveniently, there are exactly enough for our family and a friend’s family to share.

Happy birthday, Billy. I hope you have a GREAT day.

02.24.10
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No man (or little boy) left behind

I don’t know how the little boys (two 4 year olds and a 2 year old) got into the trampoline without a stool or chair, but they did. And they bounced and bounced and bounced and had fun.

Then Mary came along and wanted in. The 2 year old lay on his stomach and stretched down his hand. His brother got out (with help from Peter) and knelt down so she could climb on his back. It was adorable, although somewhat alarming from my vantage at the kitchen window. Fortunately, Mary was distracted by some dirt on her foot and everybody gave up. I turned away before I saw how the boy got back in. I assume Peter helped him.

The boys bounced and bounced and bounced, and I thought, “Wow, they must really like that trampoline!” About a half hour later, the other boys’ mother returned and we went out to where they were still jumping. As soon as they saw us all three said, “Mommy, help us out!” I guess they stayed in because they couldn’t figure out how to get everybody out. Ooops. But great sticking together, boys!

02.23.10
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Wanted: effective and efficient floor mopping device

Do you use a mop? I have always washed my bathroom and kitchen floors the way my mom did: on hands and knees. I think this is a superior method, especially at detecting and cleaning random sticky spots or the debris that collects along cabinet bottoms.

However, this new house has a lovely stone tile that goes from the front entrance, down a hall, into a bathroom and a laundry room, and then covers my generously sized kitchen, eating area and family room. I think there is more square feet of tile in this house than there is total living space in my house in New Jersey. I have washed this floor on my hands and knees, because I do not own a mop. And I have concluded: I need to own a mop.

But the choices are overwhelming. Do I go retro and use a cloth string mop that needs be be hand wrung? Do I use a modern version of the same with a built in wringer? Do I use a sponge mop? How about these disposable swifter mops?

I’m all about learning from other people’s experiences. I don’t want to waste my money only to be disappointed. If you mop, tell me what you like and what works well.

02.22.10
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Research I like

BBC News – Peanut allergies tackled in largest ever trial: “Twenty out of 23 sufferers in an earlier study became able to eat more than 30 peanuts safely.”

I think, as a mom, to not have that fear lurking whenever you try a new food or eat at a restaurant or party would be worth using my child as a guinea pig. Imagine if in 5 or 10 years most children entering kindergarten were “cured” of peanut allergies? What a wonderful thing.