Author Archives: michellereitemeyer

05.04.07
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Going to the midwife

Last week, I tried to go to my first OB appointment. I called and asked for an appointment with the same midwife who cared for me with my last pregnancy. Reason for the appointment? they asked. I’m pregnant, I said. First appointment? they asked. Yes, I said. They gave me a date and time.

I went. The midwife wasn’t there. They had scheduled me for a paperwork appointment. First day of last period? How many pregnancies? How many births? Any complications? Any allergies? Planned pregnancy? How do you feel about it?

I was mad – not about the pregnancy…about the appointment. Had the appointment-person told me she was doing this I would have asked to do both the paperwork and actual exams on the same day. I do need to find childcare for five children each time I go.

Today I did see my midwife. She asked if it was okay if a nursing student did my exam. I was really pretty happy with this. My midwife happens to be my next door neighbor – ah, army living! She is very professional, but still, living next door to the woman who does your pap smear is a bit…awkward. She spoke with me long enough to ask me when I intended to go down and get my blood drawn, since the paperwork lady put in my referral to the lab, and I didn’t go. I hemmed, hawed, dodged and evaded answering as best as I could and basically put the discussion off until next time. I have no intention of having my blood drawn before I move to Kansas. I’m a difficult patient. And a big wimp. I don’t give up my blood easily. I know I need to have an antibody screen in July, so I’d rather get ALL bloodwork done at once.

The nursing student was a really nice lady. She had to ask me all those obligatory questions: I can’t get mad at her for them. There’s a test called the AFP Screen…? No, thank you, I said. Because of your…age…you could go to Bethesda for a level 2 ultrasound and have an amnio if you’d like…? No, thank you, I said. One happy moment was when she was listening to my heart and observed that I obviously exercise – do you run? she asked. As a matter of fact, I do, I said.

And then: You’re too far along to use an ultrasound for dating the pregnancy (I don’t need to have the pregnancy dated, I thought), but if you’d like to have a peek at the baby, we could do that…? No, thank you, I said. For that, I got raised eyebrows. I do want to see the baby, actually, but I had the kids with a friend, I would have to walk down the hall to another room, it would take more time…and I’m not 100% sure that ultrasounds are perfectly safe and don’t want to frivolously subject my child to them…did I mention that besides being a difficult patient, I am a firm believer in a minimalistic approach to healthcare? Sick people go to the doctor, you know. Healthy people stay away from doctors and their technologies. It’s just a theory…

But finally, finally, we listened to the very strong heartbeat, and that was enough. Yes, those flutters I feel are tiny kicks and not the gurgling of digestive juices. Yes, that hard lump I feel when I lie back and press on my stomach is a growing baby. Soon that lump will be even bigger, and I’ll be forced to dig the maternity clothes out of the bin. And soon the kicks will be stronger and my children will share in my excitement that comes from actually feeling a tiny new life develop in the womb.

And sooner than I think, I’ll be waiting, probably just as impatiently as Cris, for that tiny new life to join us here in this world.

05.04.07
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All things in moderation, but…

When Danielle Bean did her post last week about children and TV, there were some people who said that they didn’t even own a set. Some people were critical of these people and felt that children needed exposure to things like TV so that they don’t go off the deep end in TV viewing when they are older (or something like that).

My kids watch some TV, and I’m happy to have the chance to blog while they do it. But I see no problem with no-TV homes, either. I really don’t feel that TV is so important in our modern lives that the lack thereof will cause permanent developmental damage in our children, nor do I think that no-TV will result in TV OD in a newly independent adult. I have a curry-free home. I’m not overly concerned that my sons will seek wives from India to overcompensate for what I failed to provide them as children.

But one thing I know for sure is this: children who have no TV in the house would not tune into Disney and see hard-core porn instead. I would be devastated if this happened to my kids, and, whether my husband liked it or not, would never, ever subscribe to cable or satellite TV as long as I had children living at home. When one of my children “accidentally” hits another child, I sometimes detect a defensive attitude in the offender who says, “I said I was sorry.” I often say, “Sorry doesn’t take the pain away. You must be more careful and more aware of others around you.” No apology by the cable company can take away these images burned in a little child’s mind. I hope that every home affected by this had a parent right there able to turn the channel quickly. I know that I am often in the next room when my children are watching their “safe” programming. I may have to rethink how comfortable I am with that arrangement.

05.03.07
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What did you learn in school this year?

Last fall, after I tried to burn my house down, the fire department came out to check my smoke detectors. I was talking about school and kids with one of the guys and he said, “I’m in the third grade!” I said, “Me, too!” Even though I have a college degree and I feel that I have continued the learning process past my formal school days, I know that I am right there with my oldest child learning things I either never knew or forgot long ago. And since I will be repeating these lessons over and over again to a succession of children, I really can’t imagine that this “new” information, seen through adult eyes, won’t stick with me for much longer than it did the first time I was exposed to it.

Since I use the Baltimore Catechism for religion, and since I was educated in the ’70s and ’80s and that mainly through CCD classes, pretty much everything I teach from that book is stuff I didn’t know. Well…Who made you? God made me. I got that. But the concise and clear answers to much of what we believe and why we believe it were never transmitted to me. I really enjoy religion class.

In math and grammar, I’m happy to report, I haven’t learned much. I have had to check the answer book on occasion to clarify a punctuation rule or a part of speech, but not very often. The teacher’s math book is only used so I can check answers quickly and not because long division or averaging numbers is particularly difficult.

But of all the subjects, Fritz and I share an immense appreciation for history. I liked it back in my school days, too, and studied it quite a bit in high school. In college, I just didn’t have the time to take any classes given my heavy core curriculum load, except for one class, The History of the Low Countries, which I was able to take while studying abroad in Belgium (one of the Low Countries). Awesome class.

In the last three years, history for Fritz has been primarily American History and more specifically the time around the American Revolution. Each year, the curriculum gives more details about the 1700’s and expands the student’s awareness of where that era is in relationship to all of world history. When Fritz was in kindergarten, he summarized his knowledge of history like this: “First there was Adam and Eve, then there was Jesus, then there was George Washington, then there was us.” By now, I’m sure he can name a few more people between Adam and Christ, and our history lessons have exposed him to the Vikings as well as the big players from Europe who claimed the Americas and explored, settled, and fought over them: the Dutch, the Spanish, the French and, of course, the English.

These are lessons that I learned over and over again throughout my school days, but it is great to read about this period of history with a much greater awareness of the global implications of certain events, for example, France’s historical interest in aiding the Americans over the English in our revolution or the American Revolution’s influence on the French Revolution.

One of the books we recently read was If You Lived at the Time of the American Revolution. I really like the If You Lived… series. I’ve found them to be chock full of information but written clearly enough for young students to comprehend. At the end of this book, the authors state their intention of presenting a balanced view of the conflict and presenting non-Patriots in a fair manner. On Amazon, reviewers either gave it 5 stars or 1 star, depending on how they felt about the treatment of the Loyalists. Those who thought it was good, thought it was balanced. Those who thought it was bad, felt that the Patriots were portrayed as bad guys and that it only mentions the negative circumstances surrounding the lives of the Loyalists. I will admit that there is little mention of any suffering on the part of the Patriots. According to the book, about one-third of the colonists favored independence, one-third were loyalists, and the remaining third attempted to be neutral. Surely for every Loyalist’s child who wasn’t permitted to go to school, there was a Patriot’s child who had a similar experience. There were pockets of like-minded people, and human beings throughout history are not known for their kind and generous behavior toward those who think differently.

But since the winners write the history books, I don’t feel that a few kind words on behalf of real human beings who had valid reasons for choosing to support the crown will damage a young student’s budding sense of patriotism. And as for myself, this and other literature we read this year have made me ask myself where I would have placed my own loyalties in 1775.

I consider myself fiercely patriotic. I’ve lived “on the economy” in other countries for long enough to know that as bad as it might be here in some ways, it is better than any other alternative. This is home, and it doesn’t matter whether it is Ohio or Virginia or Pennsylvania or New Jersey or Florida or Kansas, it is all home. But Belgium is not Germany is not the Czech Republic is not England and none of them are the United States. I am eternally grateful for all the hard choices made by the people who lived here in the late eighteenth century who suffered, fought and died to create this country. I would really like to think that I would have been a Patriot and would have done my best to contribute to its founding.

But no matter how I look at it, I can not support actions like the Boston Tea Party which breaks both the seventh commandment which forbids the unjust taking of another’s property as well as the 4th commandment which includes obedience to lawful superiors. Perhaps if I were twenty years old in 1775, I would be cheering the heroes of that raid, but I can’t imagine that this 36 year old devout Catholic would be in favor of it. It is one thing to boycott a product and quite another to destroy it.

But in my final analysis, I look at my view of current events. I am conservative and religious and vote accordingly. But I do not always agree with the loudest voices belonging to this side. I don’t agree with every plank in every platform and certainly not with every vote by every Republican in Congress. There are times I think we make some poor choices as a country, but I still think it’s the best place on earth. I think about the polls that show “only” a 39% approval rating for the President, and think I might be in the category of the 59% who disapprove (it’s all how the question is worded…and what about being neutral as an option?). And I compare that to the one-third who supported the American Revolution, and I think the President is doing better than General George Washington would have been doing if the Rasmussen Report had been around back then. I do think I would have been a Patriot, and I have faith that our country, despite the doom and gloom predictions from all sides, will do just fine as we suffer through these difficult years of foreign war and domestic strife.

OK, I’m finishing the 3rd grade, I’ve learned a lot about the American Revolution, and I vote in favor of breaking ties with England. How about you? What grade are you in, what did you learn this year in school, and are you or are you not in favor of the American Revolution?

05.02.07
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My son, the hack

About 2 1/2 years ago, we replaced our crumbling, heavy, ten year old TV with a lightweight, flat screen LCD set. It is our sole TV. It came with a V-chip.

The V-chip is a nice thing. It doesn’t replace parental guidance and discernment, but it is convenient for those times when a young child inadvertently begins surfing the channels or an older child intentionally starts looking for alternative programming. We don’t get any premium channels, but it’s not R-rated movies that concern me so much. A brief visit to a country music video channel might coincide with the playing of Trace Adkins’ Honky Tonk, Badonkadonk, which is eyeful enough for adults and completely inappropriate for kids.

Up until a year ago, we had no problem with the V-chip, which we set at the most conservative level for all programming. Even Y-7 shows were screened. When you change channels, the programming comes on briefly – perhaps for 3 or 4 seconds – and then the screen goes blank awaiting the secret code if the rating is higher than the settings allow. Convenient for adult viewing after the kids go to bed, typing in the code frees all channels until the TV is turned off.

When we moved to this new house a year ago, our one option for TV (aside from satellite) was with the phone company and their fiber optic network. Soon thereafter I noticed that Bill would turn on a cop show or something like that after 9 pm, and it wouldn’t ask for the code. We checked the settings and did all the troubleshooting we could think of. The V-chip worked on some channels some of the time, but not always. I theorize that the problem lies with the phone company not broadcasting appropriate ratings. I considered launching a campaign to have them clean up their act, but decided that it wasn’t worth the hassle. The V-chip is a convenience, but isn’t my primary means of controlling what my children watch. They watch certain shows at certain times of the day, period.

But I do allow Fritz, the oldest child and the earliest riser, some freedom in channel surfing in the early morning. He knows the PBS stations and Disney and Nickelodeon (which doesn’t begin it’s Nick Jr programming until 9 am), and I will let him go between them. {Is the desire to flip between channels innately male, or what?} Once the younger kids get up, though, he needs to restrict his viewing to more appropriate shows (no Jimmy Neutron, for example).

For some reason, although we can watch drug deals, sex and violence without restriction at night, Bob the Builder was recently deemed too dangerous for viewing by my anonymous TV provider. Because the V-chip takes those few seconds to kick in, Fritz can see the show for a moment before the screen goes blank. Now, Fritz is too old for Bob the Builder, but he still enjoys it, and once Pete (my other early riser) is up, his viewing choices diminish. He and Petey will sit and watch the show together: Fritz will sing the theme song and interact with his younger brother the whole time. It’s quite cute. Fritz knows the show is on, but can’t view it. For a bit, we could fiddle with the channel and get it to come on, but in the last week or so, you had to type in the code to watch the show. So I did.

Fritz wanted to know the code. I told him that there was no point in having a code if he knew it. We’ve been back and forth on this for several days now. The code was the factory set code of “0000” – not exactly a tough thing to decipher, but it’s been working for 2 1/2 years now, right? But 2 years ago, I didn’t have a nearly 9 year old who desired to know the code. I wasn’t particularly shocked when he announced the correct code to me this morning. Won’t he be upset when that code doesn’t work tomorrow morning?

In another 2 years, perhaps he’ll be clever enough to not tell me that he knows the code. Perhaps in 2 years, I’ll be clever enough to have him think I don’t know it either. Just a half step ahead, that’s all I need…

05.01.07
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New Month’s Resolution for May

I didn’t forget to post this earlier, I was just busy cleaning my house for a party. Now, why on earth did I clean my house prior to 25 to 30 children coming through it with handfuls of potato chips and cups of purple Kool-aid? I guess because I love that Dyson so much…

It’s the first of the month, and I love the opportunity that a new beginning affords. No big plans, just focus on one small thing for one month. This month, I’m going to concentrate on ending this school year and getting ready for next year. We’re plugging along nicely in our curriculum…well, I’m forcibly dragging my boys through these last few weeks. But we’re not behind and barring unforeseen emergencies, we should finish at the end of the month. I’ve promised them a trip to the National Gallery of Art on June 1st as our final reward, and I’ll even let them pick out something from the gift shop if they earn enough smiley faces in the next four weeks for cooperative behavior. It is so hard to get them to focus on math and handwriting when the warm, sunny outdoors beckons them (and me!).

Then in early June, I’m going to the IHM Conference where I can place a book order and get free shipping. I will finalize my shopping list this month, and be all ready to order next year’s supplies. I hope this will reduce the temptation to browse and splurge-purchase that awesome music program that I will never use or those really nice math manipulatives that will only be strewn about the schoolroom by the toddler on a daily basis.

Come July, we’re moving to Kansas. Strangers will come and box my things and put cryptic lables on them. There is no guarantee that all the school supplies will be packaged in their own boxes or have similar labels. I might open a box and think it’s only candlesticks, tablecloths and serveware…but buried underneath all that may be a math textbook and all the blank notebooks I stocked up on at some end of season sale. My husband begins classes on August 13th, and I plan to do the same with the kids. Not being able to locate school stuff is a sure-fire way to drive this homeschool momma bonkers. So when my order from the conference arrives, I will add to it the books I already own that I will need for Billy and Katie. These items will be carefully set aside with a clear label and will travel with us so I know exactly where everything I need is.

So, finish school, make a booklist, and set aside texts needed for next year. I’ll worry about moving next month.

Do you have a new month’s resolution? Last month, Cris resolved to have her baby, but it didn’t work out that way. I’ll bet she succeeds this month, though!

05.01.07
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I have all the clues I need.

Was it the toddler in the kitchen with the dinner fork?

…or…

The toddler in the boys’ bedroom with the wooden sword?

…or…

The toddler in the girls’ bedroom with the toy train?

…or…

All of the above?

Because when bodies are dropping like flies around here, it is pretty obvious whodunnit.

The only things left to ascertain are when and where he will strike again…and who will be his next victim?

The older kids have their orders. If you see Petey with something in his hand: Run!

04.30.07
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Reading material meme

Lorri of The Mac and Cheese Chronicles wants to know what I’m reading. I won’t count any book I haven’t actually opened in more than two weeks which makes this list very short:

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families: so far, very interesting. At the end of every chapter there are discussion questions for older family members, and family activities to include younger children. It is basically about forming a family vision about where you want to go (in life) and how you want to get there (together).

That’s it on books. I’m also trying to read the latest issues of The National Catholic Register, Faith and Family, and Heart and Mind magazine.

But mostly, I’ve been online flipping between Emmanuel Books, Mother of Divine Grace, Amazon (for reviews and superior descriptions – I’ll support Emmanuel Books, even though it’ll cost me more) and the IHM Conference pages. I plan to go to the conference on Friday, June 8th (anybody want to meet me there?) and want to have my book list ready.

04.30.07
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The Saints Meme

Tagged by SFO Mom.

List four favorite saints, two favorite blessed, and a person who you think should be a saint.

Saints:

St. John Neumann: I feel that through his intercession, a miracle of healing occurred with my son Fritz.

St. Apollonia: patron of tooth problems, I also feel that her prayers aided in Fritz’s healing and his on-going dental issues.

St. Therese of Lisieux: her “little way” is hard and steep, but I feel it most closely matches the challenges faced by stay-at-home moms.

St. George: since we recently celebrated his feast day, he’s on my mind right now.

Blessed:

Blessed Teresa of Calcutta: of course. How can I not be inspired by a saint I grew up admiring?

Blessed Charles de Foucauld: I saw someone else had listed him, too. His apparent lack of success in converting Muslims and his death at their hands despite their friendship inspires me to have faith that whatever work I do will eventually bear fruit even if I do not see the results myself.

A person I think should be a saint:

Pope John Paul II.

04.28.07
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New vocabulary word

Every now and then, you just have to teach your kid a big word. A little word won’t do.

Obviously, when discussing matters of religion, new vocabulary words like transubstantiation will eventually need defining. Perhaps your young man is into guns or crime shows or detective work. Ballistics might become part of his word list. And if your child is learning music theory, lots of long, foreign words like fortissississimo might be necessary to describe your child’s preferred style of expressing himself on the piano.

And sometimes, just regular conversation requires a good knock-out punch of a word. My parents always used big vocabulary words with us, and then directed us to the big dictionary to figure out what they meant. When big words started coming out of our mouths, they would praise us with, “That’s a fifty-cent word!” Eventually sophisticated vocabulary becomes a habit.

I often find myself using big words even though I know that the kids have no idea what I am saying. This most often happens when I’m getting excited about a topic, and the time space between my thought and the word coming out of my mouth is extremely brief. I’ll use the first words that come to mind, and they are often pretty hefty. Half the time the kids just ignore much of what I say and grasp the general meaning of my point. This worked to my great advantage once when I was pretty upset with the kids and started expressing in a loud and rapid manner exactly how I felt about their behavior. Out came one awful word, and I felt horrible and worried about using it – until I realized that nobody even noticed. They just thought mom had pulled out another big word that they hadn’t learned yet.

Whew.

Recently in grammar, Fritz is learning about adjectives. One of the exercises is to list two adjectives for each of the nouns. Horse: spotted, small. Boy: tall, skinny. Boat: big, fast. Building: tall, window-y.

Nope. That just won’t do. Window-y doesn’t cut it. I could have left it at that and had him come up with another adjective, but I also think a kid needs to learn how to express himself. If he wants to point out that a building has windows (as compared to places like many army buildings that don’t), this is a legitimate requirement. If there happens to be a word that fits the bill, why shouldn’t I teach it to him?

And so, Fritz learned the word fenestrated yesterday. We admire the city skyline filled with tall, fenestrated buildings. The prisoners longed for a fenestrated barracks so they would know when it was day or night. Fortunately, his grammar worksheet wasn’t being turned into a teacher who might think he was making things up. That happened to my nephew, Jack, whose third grade teacher, apparently unfamiliar with Lemony Snickett’s Series of Unfortunate Events, told him that penultimate was not a word. Ignorance is my penultimate pet peeve; arrogance is the trait I despise the most.