Jennifer F. at Et Tu? is hosting a group writing project: What are three things your parents did right? These are my picks.

1. They were (still are) married. Their commitment to each other, for better or for worse, translated to a belief in their commitment to me, their imperfect child, for better or for worse. Their example of marriage indoctrinated me to the concept that marriage was permanent. No matter how difficult times might be with my own husband, walking away is not an option.

2. They love each other more than they love us kids. I still feel like the apple of my father’s eye; he dotes on all of his daughters. Both of my parents showered us with hugs and kisses as we grew up. They definitely love us. But they love each other more. When my dad comes home from an errand or work, he still seeks out my mother right away to tell her he is home and to claim a welcoming kiss. Growing up, he would not tolerate us mistreating or backtalking her. He might clown around with us and act like a kid at times, but we knew, deep down, that his loyalties were with mom. She was (is) the love of his life.

As a mother and as a wife, I too love my children. But I love their dad more. He’s the guy I’ll have to live with when they’re all grown up after all. Spending time with him, even if it is only a late night conversation after the children are asleep, is very important. Our young children are learning through observing us what kind of a person they want to marry. Our children are learning how to work through disagreements. Our children are learning that being angry with someone doesn’t mean you can’t love them and certainly doesn’t mean that you head to the lawyer for a divorce. Our children are learning that a man treats a woman, especially his wife, with dignity and respect, and that a woman treats a man, especially her husband, with dignity and respect.

They are learning this the same way I did: by how my own parents love each other.

3. They taught me responsibility and independence from an early age. This is something that tends to come naturally in households with more than two or three children, I think. I am the middle of five kids. One older brother has Down’s Syndrome. There are only 8 years between the oldest and the youngest. My mom had her hands full, and I’m sure she had that pointed out to her many times, much to her annoyance, and much as I do. We had chores. We had to look out for each other. We didn’t have things handed to us. We didn’t get an allowance. Once I started earning regular money, the lunch money supply dried up, I started buying my own clothes, and I saved up to buy contact lenses. Perhaps, especially when I was younger, I had too much responsibility. But by the time I was 18, I could cook, I could clean, I could make adult decisions and take responsibility for them, I was aware of other people and how my actions affected them, I knew how to budget my time between (school) work and play and how to budget my money between essentials like food and non-essentials like going to the movies. I may have still been immature through lack of experience, but I was somewhat capable of going off to college and functioning as an adult without relying on my parents to do everything for me.

As a mother, I hope to accomplish the same thing in my own children. I don’t expect that they will always make wise choices. I don’t expect that they will leave home at 18, never to ask for advice or money or assistance. And I certainly don’t expect them to do any of this without having had a few years of practice before leaving home. And so they have chores now. And they have to look out for each other now. And they don’t get everything handed to them now.

My parents weren’t perfect parents. But they did some things right. Thanks, Mom and Dad!

My hair looked better before my afternoon siesta, but I was having camera trouble. And I hate pictures of myself. I hope that since my fat chin is a recent development, it will be the first thing to go when I start losing baby weight.

And this little guy is suddenly camera shy. He got a haircut, too. No spa treatment, just a buzz.

Generally, McDonald said, undergarments aren’t considered a danger to security.

It’s the Friday before a Monday federal holiday, which means, in these parts, that Bill AND all the public school kids are off for four days. I crossed off all non-essential school work from today’s to-dos, squeezed in a few extra assignments yesterday, and am leaving Bill in charge of overseeing the bare bones school morning.

I’m off to get a haircut. But not just any haircut. Oh no. I’m going to a day spa for a ninety minute haircut at a place which clearly says that children must remain in the waiting room or not come at all. Cell phones are banned. I expect soft lights and quiet music. What a treat for the middle of a Friday morning!

Here is what the place promises on their website:

Elemental Nature Haircut

Service begins with a consultation and sensory journey based on the Elemental Nature Questionnaire. The therapists will then cleanse, tone, and moisturize the face. All while you receive a customized aromatic foot bath and a head, neck, and shoulder massage. Followed by a relaxing shampoo, haircut and finishing style by an AVEDA© trained professional stylist. Finishing with a make-up touch up for women, or hot towel treatment for men. All service is performed in a private spa room. 90 min.

The cost? About half what I would expect to pay on the East Coast.

Have a great day – I’m outta here.

Our neighborhood is infested with mosquitos and flies of near-Biblical proportions. I’m wondering if lamb’s blood on the door posts will help at all.

The Dad neighbor who lives next door was describing his seven-year old’s uncooperative attitude regarding the wearing of bug spray, and then told how they got into a wrestling match when he tried to put some anti-itch lotion on his son’s bites so his son would stop scratching them into a bloody mess.

It was one of those “if you heard any screaming, we really aren’t abusing our kids” conversations.

“I just can’t wait until they’re all dead,” I stated emphatically as we watched the children running around the yards.

There was a pause, and the neighbor and my husband looked at me. Finally, my husband spoke up.

“You mean the bugs?”

Crown Prince Ludwig, later to become King Ludwig I, was married to Princess Therese of Saxony-Hildburghausen on October 12, 1810. A public festival thrown for the people of Munich in honor of the occasion was the very first Oktoberfest.

I’m not royalty. I’m not Bavarian. My name isn’t even Therese.

But I did get married in the fall, and went to Germany on my honeymoon. In fact, it was probably pretty close to Ludwig and Therese’s anniversary when Bill and I got to Munich. The Oktoberfest had already ended, but that was okay; we were on our honeymoon and didn’t need to do a big social thing.

One place we stopped was the Hofbrauhaus. There are six beers made locally, and Hofbrau is one. I think we went to the Hofbrauhaus for lunch (and so Bill could have their beer). Typical for a beer hall, we sat at a long, public table. Another couple joined us. Like us, they were tourists, but they were German tourists and they were obviously country bumpkins (I think they had one complete set of teeth between the two of them). They were obviously thrilled to be in the big city for a holiday. It was so cute to see them enjoying themselves and their trip. And I took much comfort in knowing that they stood out as tourists as much, if not more, than I did.

Not far outside Munich is a place called Schloss Nymphenburg. This was the summer home of the Bavarian royalty, including Ludwig and Therese. One of the rooms, the Gallery of Beauties, contains portraits of 36 women, commissioned by Ludwig. Bill recalled that our tour guide said that these were Ludwig’s conquests. I’m not sure of that, but definitely, at least one woman was at the center of a major scandal that ended with Ludwig abdicating his throne to his son.

So, he wasn’t a good king, and definitely not a good husband…but he threw a good party.

Twelve years ago today, my life changed forever. Although I was no more mature when I left the church then when I went in, I can say with certainty that the sacrament of marriage transformed me. All of me – my future, my dreams and my hopes – was bound to this other person who would either drag me down like an anchor or lift me like a helium filled balloon…or…keep me grounded like an anchor or have me drifting aimlessly like a helium filled balloon…or…do all four of those things depending on where we are in our life! For better or ill, we’re traveling this road together.

We don’t have a fancy summer home, and Bill’s gallery of beauties is filled with photos of me and our children instead of exotic dancers, thank goodness. He’ll never be king, but he’s a good husband…and, he throws a good party.