I could never be a TV commentator. First of all, if I said something really stupid, I would die of embarrassment. Secondly, if I were working with someone who said something really stupid, I would have a difficult time not being obnoxious and sarcastic.
We turned on the TV as various people were making their way to the steps of the Capitol. Laura Bush. Lynne Cheney.
As Jill Biden walked along, the commentator said:
“There is the future wife of the Vice President.”
I knew what she meant, of course, but Fritz sure was confused. It was a great lesson in making sure your modifiers are placed properly. Had I been there, I might have responded:
“So, are you saying that Dick Cheney is going to pull some David-Uriah scheme and snatch her for himself…..OR, are you saying that the Vice President-elect is not, in fact, really married yet?”
And then, as the President-elect appeared on the Jumbo-tron and the crowds went wild, the other commentator said:
“Unbelievable! {pause} But we expected nothing less.”
Me: “So, Jim, are you saying that you expected the unbelievable? How does one manage to do that?”
And lastly, before switching over to the national, and thankfully comment-free, coverage, the local commentator referred to the huge crowds being displayed on the screen from cameras on the Washington Monument, and said:
“Huge crowds…like I’ve never seen before…and never will again.”
Interesting prediction.
Me: “So, Jane, are you saying that a woman could never draw a crowd this size? Or an Hispanic? Or a Native American? Or even a white guy who got more than 52% of the popular vote? Are you saying that even President Barak Obama, if he is as wonderful as he makes himself out to be and does all these fantastic things for the country, shores up the economy, ends poverty, makes peace with the world, frees us from the tyranny of oil dependence, and gets every blessed citizen free and top-notch health care, even he could not manage to ever, ever draw a bigger crowd than he did today when half the country is grumbling into their coffees or doing the best they can to put on a happy face? OR, are you saying that you, personally, are quitting your job as a commentator and will never more look upon crowds and judge their size?”
And that’s when I would be fired from my job.
So, instead, I’ll just blog about other people’s silly statements, happy that I’m not the one at whom people are laughing.
Reit This Way 
You must have been watching Fox. I noticed the exact same gaffes 😉I had no idea how this would affect me today. I don’t think I have been this blue in a very long time. Well, tomorrow is a new day.
Hilarious! You make better comments than my husband, who usually has me getting all teary from the laughter during these kinds of things.
I enjoyed your pithy comebacks quite a lot!!
Michelle, I love it. I wish I had been watching with you. LOL Hope we can meet.
i didnt watch but i did here (via talk radio) some of what was going on SO i must correct your last retort….according to the pastor’s prayer, hispanics should be referred to as browns, native americans as red men, and asians are now yellows. i guess what’s old is new again. what an idiot (him, not you). but only whites are racist right??r
Thankfully, we have no television, so I missed the coverage. I am still grumbling in my coffee though.
I wish we could have <>(not)<> watched together. It was easy to be critical yesterday, and not just because there was so much of which to be critical.
See, I would so love to have a commentator like you — I would actually watch that kind of coverage if I could count on that kind of snark. :-p
Remind me to never make any verbal gaffes in your company.
Oh that’s good. What were they thinking of? (Married to a journalism/English major- had to throw in the “of”) 😉