"Will you wipe my bottom?"

With two needing assistance, I hear that one a lot. Pete and I have a little routine. He patiently calls out for me. I patiently respond that I’m coming. He calls out to me again with the same volume and calm manner. I repeat that I’m coming. And we keep it up even as I’m cleaning him and flushing and washing hands and leaving the room. We both think it’s funny.

Tonight after dinner with perfect yet unrehearsed choreography, Peter placed his plate with his sliver of banana cake with cream cheese icing on my chair at the exact moment that I attempted to sit to eat my own slice. “Oh, Peter!” I said as I sprang up. I picked up a napkin and headed over to Bill who had not witnessed the domestic ballet.

“Will you wipe my bottom?” I handed him the napkin. He looked confused until I turned and revealed my cream cheese frosted derriere. Guess he never thought he’d hear that line from me.

4 thoughts on “"Will you wipe my bottom?"

  1. Hee hee. Context is everything.

  2. It’s implied in the vows…to love, honor, cherish, and wipe the bottom of…

  3. Very funny. 🙂

  4. That is soo cute! You guys are funny 🙂

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