Betwixt them both

When you blog about our Lenten diet…” he begins.

When? I wasn’t planning on it…

“…you should mention the rhyme about Jack Sprat.”

“Mm. But it’s backwards. ‘The wife could eat no lean.’ You are the one not eating lean. Right?”

Bill is not eating starches: bread, pasta, potato, rice. He’s not supposed to anyway. They send his triglycerides through the roof and reduce his good cholesterol to an insignificant amount. It’s the Atkins diet for life – a healthy, but miserable life with no lasagna or pizza or (gasp!) beer. Generally he does this diet for Lent, and then he adds back beer and then an occasional pizza dinner, and then by autumn, he’s eating starch in some form most days. By Christmas, he’s eating very poorly, and can’t wait to begin Lent and start all over again.

For Lent, I gave up meat. We’re eating loads of fruits and veggies here.

“Noooo. The lean is the meat.”

“But there’s fat in meat. So the ‘fat’ must be meat and the lean something else.”

“Harumph.” Or something like that was his concluding remark.

I sat thinking about Jack Sprat and his wife licking the platter clean. What the heck was lean anyway? Bloody nursery rhymes…

A few minutes go by. He interrupts my thoughts.

“I’m not interested in arguing with you. But you’re wrong. The lean is the meat.”

And he doesn’t say it, but I can see the really big PERIOD at the end of his statement. For the record, I wasn’t arguing, I was thinking out loud. He was right; lean does refer to the meat part of meat and the fat refers to the fat part of meat, if that makes any sense.

And then he said something about giving up yes-dearing me for Lent which I guess means he’s going to be telling me I’m wrong with a big don’t-argue-with-me period at the end.

Yes, dear.

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