Bill tells me he would like to buy a $5 part for his fountain pen so he can use bottled ink instead of disposable cartridges.

“It’s more ecologically-friendly,” he says.

“Ecologically friendly?” I ask. “Bill that’s…that’s…liberal thinking!”

“Crunchy con, dear, crunchy con,” he asserts.

“Oh, I see, if you care about the environment you’re a crunchy con…if I care about the environment, I’m a left-wing nut?”

“Yup.”