Monthly Archives: December 2006

12.14.06
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Decluttering for the holidays

Among my Advent tasks is a scaled down version of my spring cleaning. I’m not so worried about having yeast in my pantry as I am focused on the clutter in the closets. I am a very orderly and organized person (the mess on my desk notwithstanding). But I live in a home with five little people who have no understanding of just how bothersome it is (to me) to have My Little Pony accessories mixed in with the tea set.

And I can handle My Little Pony. But where I fail entirely is in the Lego and Playmobile arena. I dumped the Lego container yesterday afternoon and told the boys that only Legos were to go back inside it. And we began. Of course, the boys then proceeded to say things like, “Billy, look! You were looking for this piece!” And their sorting and cleaning was distracted by their search for other similar “jewels” for Billy’s “invention.” It was a team effort, but they were playing a different game than I.

A fly on the wall would have heard ten minutes of:

“Is this a Lego?” Affirmative grunt.

“How about this one?” Affirmative grunt.

“Legos?” Affirmative grunt.

“These?” “Oh, that’s Playmobile.”

“How about these?” “Legos.” “Really?” “Yes, Mom, they go to the Millenium Falcon.”

I am way out of my league here. I even contemplated for a few minutes that the entire endeavor to put pieces in the proper containers was really just over-the-top in organization. But then I recovered my senses and finished the job.

After an hour of cleaning the bedrooms, I released the kids to watch some TV. This gave me a chance to stealthily remove from their room all the things that I’ve decided they no longer get to keep. Some of the items were toys they rarely play with and will find a new home with another family via the post thrift store. Other things were broken toys that the kids insist are repairable by Magic Dad with the Gorilla Glue or were accessories to toys long gone.

When the kids came up a bit later, Billy remarked that he could see his dresser. Yes, it’s amazing how one can see the furniture when one puts toys, clothes, books and art projects where they belong. There are still two containers left – a bin of Army guys and a bin of cars. I need to make sure that GI Joe isn’t hanging out at the motor pool, and then the boys’ room is done. In the girls’ room, we need to re-build the Playmobile Palace destroyed by the huns, and then I have some sorting to do in Pete’s closet.

My inner soul will be at clutter-free peace for a week or so. Then comes the onslaught of New Stuff. At least there is room in the closet.

12.13.06
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The Feast of St. Lucy

This morning I asked Bill why our daughters hadn’t delivered us some sweet bread in bed. Apparently, one needs to teach their daughters this behavior. Go figure.

I checked my copy of this book, but both recipes for St. Lucy’s sweet bread use saffron, which I don’t happen to stock. Maybe I’ll scour the internet and come up with something to make for dessert tonight or for a mid-morning snack.

Yesterday I made 20 dozen Crinkled Molasses Cookies. On Friday I’m going to a cookie exchange, and half that amount will be given away. Everyone was permitted ONE single lonely cookie. I was most unpopular, and at least one person managed to sneak one when I wasn’t looking.

At some point today, I’ll have to gather the children and bless their eyesight:

Relying upon thy goodness, O God, we humbly ask Thee, by the
intercession of Thy servant, St. Lucy, that Thou wouldst give perfect vision to our eyes, that they may serve for Thy greater glory, and for the salvation of our souls in this world, that we may come to the enjoyment of the unfailing light of the Lamb of God in paradise. St. Lucy, virgin and martyr, pray for us.

12.12.06
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Season’s Greetings

It’s that time of year again. You know, the time of year when everybody feels that they have a right to tell everybody else how to celebrate the “holiday season.”

American Catholics are bad enough with discussions flying about Santa, St. Nicholas, Kris Kringle, Krist Kindle, Three Kings or Generous Parental Units as the bearers of gifts. I wonder if Catholics in a more homogeneous culture have the same angst about how to celebrate Christmas. Are Filipino Catholics belligerantly petty about when to put up decorations and how many presents a child should receive, or is this inane behavior exclusive to places like the United States with its mish-mash of diverse backgrounds?

Then we have Christians in general who whine about stores that don’t wish their patrons a Merry Christmas. I wrote about this last year. Patriotic Americans don’t get uppity if the grocery store clerk doesn’t wish them a Happy Flag Day on June 14th. I don’t hear Jews lobbying for merchants to conclude transactions with “Have a good Yom Kippur – hope your atoning goes well!” Perhaps in much of America there are places where most people are celebrating Christmas, and it seems natural to offer that standard greeting. But for the last decade I’ve lived on the East Coast, and it really isn’t clear who is celebrating what. Although I would never be offended if someone wished me a Joyous Ramadan (I would laugh!), I would also never consciously wish a Muslim a Merry Christmas. And since we Christians are constantly lamenting the over-commercialization of Christmas, it seems rather hypocritical to then demand that the retail world wish you a merry time celebrating that Holy Day for which you don’t want them marketing their products!

But mostly, it’s that time of year when everybody wants to get in on the holiday excitement. Christians whimper about how everybody should behave during the month of December, but their complaints are drowned out by the non-Christians with their list of demands.

A Rabbi in the state of Washington got upset about “Christmas” trees being on display at the airport, and he threatened legal action if the airport did not also display a menorah. You know, in July in the forest, these trees are usually called fir trees. Nobody is offended by their existance. But bring them indoors during the winter months and suddenly they become “Christmas” trees. There is nothing exclusively Christian about evergreen trees. Yes, there is symbolism in the perpetual greenery representing eternity and fidelity. But these symbols are completely lost on people from parts of the world where the fir tree doesn’t grow. Bringing them indoors during the winter months and decorating them has pagan origins and was adopted by Christians – primarily in Germany. The Portuguese should be offended that their cultural traditions aren’t being recognized.

The airport got ticked off at this game of chicken and refused to play: they removed all the decorations, saying they “didn’t have time to play cultural anthropologists.” The Rabbi “was appalled by the decision. ‘Everyone should have their spirit of the holiday. For many people the trees are the spirit of the holidays, and adding a menorah adds light to the season.'” So, it’s ok to celebrate Christmas, as long as we do it his way.

According to the Rabbi’s lawyer, “There is a concern here that the Jewish community will be portrayed as the Grinch.”

Um, yeah.

But it’s ok. There’s quite a bit of that going around.

12.11.06
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A good weekend

All in all, the weekend was great.

The kids behaved as usual at Mass on Friday, but my chipper attitude got me through it. I was a little upset when Katie face-planted in the parking lot while running to the van to go home. She put a huge hole in brand-new tights. These happen to be really expensive tights that I sprung for because they claim to be durable enough to hand down to younger siblings. They are not asphalt-proof.

{sigh}

At the two parties, the children were charming. Even Petey permitted some strangers to hold him for brief periods.

Not so amusing, though, is the talk I hear of my husband remaining in this job for the next 18 months. My steel-blue eyes were glinting at him like daggers in a streetlight, and he, not having heard what I heard, began voicelessly protesting his innocence to whatever crime he was accused. Later, he insisted that he was really going off to school this coming summer, really. Even later, he admitted that his future was really out of his hands, really.

argh.

Yesterday at Mass, Jenny made it until the homily before asking to go to the bathroom. I took Pete with me. The bathroom is right next to the nursery, so I went there and signed both of them up for the free babysitting hoping that Pete would be happy to stay if Jenny was with him. I went back to church and Father was still giving his homily. I don’t know what I missed, but I got there just in time to hear him bring up a really sore topic: holding hands during the Our Father.

Our last parish only on rare occasions would request the parishoners to hold hands during this prayer, but, for the most part, our kids were wholly unfamiliar with this practice. When we moved here nearly two years ago, we realized that this was the expected behavior. Had it been just Bill and I, or if the kids had been older, we might have taken a stand against it. But I was afraid that the children would appear disrespectful of adults if they refused to hold hands, and there was no way we could have reasonably ensured that we, the parents, were always on the outer edges of our family group.

Father, who has been here for less than 6 months, very charitably explained that holding hands during the Our Father was improper. He also said he knew that he was going to be very unpopular for prohibiting it, but he was anyway. Bill and I could barely contain our glee.

I sent Father an email later on in the day thanking him for his actions. He had mentioned in his homily that even though people would be upset with the ban on holding hands, there were also people who were upset with holding hands to begin with. Fortunately, Bill and I are not the types to walk away from the Church because of the inappropriate actions of a priest or a congregation, but many do walk away. I spoke with a friend after CCD, and she confessed to being very sad. She had no idea that it was wrong, and there is some sense of betrayal for having been lead astray for 30 years. Even though the truth is hard to hear, praise God that my pastor is courageous enough to speak it!

Pete and Jenny did not do well in babysitting. When I retreived them 40 minutes later, Pete was crying and Jenny asked me with a teary face why I left them there. Yes, I’m a meany. I left them in a room filled with toys and books for less than an hour. I denied them a crowded pew with no toys, books with no pictures, and constant shushings from grownups.

{sigh}

I guess I shouldn’t complain. It’s nice to be loved.

12.09.06
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Christmas meme

Tagged by Catholic Mom. I feel so loved.

1. Egg nog or hot chocolate? Eggnog. My hips are proof. I’m not a big fan of bourbon, but Bill’s goal is to get me to enjoy his homemade grog. Bill, when you read this, we’re almost out of Maker’s Mark – buy more.

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? Santa fills the stockings. Sometimes some of the contents are wrapped, but not usually. The presents under the tree are wrapped and are from mom and dad and grandparents and other relatives.

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? Colored, mostly.

4. Do you hang mistletoe? We did once. It’s poisonous though – gotta watch with little ones.

5. When do you put your decorations up? It’s a gradual process throughout Advent. Advent decorations are up, of course (Jesse Tree, wreath, calendars).

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? I just enjoy indulging in all the food that I limit throughout the normal year.

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child: Waking up sometime in the wee hours of the morning and sneaking down to see if Santa had come. I would curl up in a chair and enjoy the lights and the beauty of the tree and the sense of awe and wonder and love. My sister, Barb, tells me she did the same thing, but I never saw anyone else. I did this until I was the one leaving the presents under the tree…and even now, I do it, but before I go to bed.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? My brother told me the “truth” when I was about 7 or 8.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? Nope. Christmas Eve is all about the Nativity. We celebrate the incomparable gift of a Savior’s birth.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree? Lots of colored lights woven inside the tree. Hundreds of ornaments hidden inside and all around. Every Christmas morning, two silver spider ornaments appear, based on a German Christmas legend we read to the kids. And we hang a glass pickle and reward the pickle finder with a prize – usually a book or movie everyone can enjoy.

11. Snow? Love it or Dread it? Love it.

12. Can you ice skate? On my list of things to learn someday.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? I really like the St. Nicholas statue Bill gave me last year. But, hands down, the best gift I ever got was Christmas 1999 when Bill bought me The One Year Guide to the Catechism of the Catholic Church. Sounds boring, but it changed my life.

14. What’s the most exciting thing about the Holidays for you? All the secretive preparations – wrapping presents, hiding boxes, evasive answers and whispering.

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? Cookies, especially Russian Tea Cakes and ones with molasses or ginger.

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Having the kids look for the first star on Christmas Eve so we can begin our feast.

17. What tops your tree? An angel.

18. Which do you prefer – giving or receiving? Who would answer “receiving” to this question?

19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? All of them. Well, most of them.

20. Candy canes? Hung magically on the tree after the kids go to bed. I don’t usually eat them myself.

Tag: Amy, Angoraknitter, and Nutmeg

12.08.06
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For the record…

…this morning, my soul doth soar.

I managed to get out of bed this morning with little resistance. I took Greta for a run. I sat down with my husband to do morning prayers and remembered it was the Feast of the Immaculate Conception. I love Marian feasts.

Holy light on earth’s horizon,
Star of hope to those who fall,
Light amid a world of shadows,
Dawn of God’s design for all,
Chosen from eternal ages,
You alone of all our race,
By your Son’s atoning merits
Were conceived in perfect grace.
Hail, beloved of the Father,
Mother of his only Son,
Mystic bride of Love eternal,
Hail, O fair and spotless one!

Despite the early hour, I would have sung this if I had known the tune. I’m sure I’ll be humming Marian hymns all day long. I am so grateful that the Holy Spirit has filled me with joy today. The next 48 hours are rather daunting, and I’ll need all the extra graces I can get. And so, I say for now, my soul doth soar. We’ll see how I feel tonight after the kids go to bed!

What’s on the agenda?

Daunting Activity #1: Mass with the kids

Today is a Holy Day of Obligation. No begging off because Bill isn’t here to help. God is all the help I need, and I must trust Him to get through it. The last time I did this was very frustrating, but I’m sure it will be different this time. Sure. Perhaps what will be most different is Mom’s attitude!

On a good note, I had one of those half-awake revelations the other day. The Mass here on post is at noon, which doesn’t work for the baby who likes to take his nap at that time. I go to another church not too far away. I went there on November 1st, and I went there on August 15th – another Marian feast. On August 15th, they sang no Marian hymns. I was a bit…flabbergasted. Disappointed. Shocked. Sad. And really, really angry. As I was lying in bed, not motivated to get up, I remembered this incident and reminded myself to go to another church, one more likely to honor Our Mother through a few of the many beautiful hymns about her.

This is good, because beginning the day angry does not set a good tone for other activities scheduled like…

Daunting Activity #2: Christmas party at the boss’ house

The boss is a three star general. The whole family is expected to attend. You military folks will know that this is not optional, and that my husband, for good or ill and as unfair as it may be, will be judged by how his family behaves (or doesn’t).

For you civilians, this means probably very little. A three star is like the CEO of a very large corporation. And he’s friends with all the CEOs of all the other corporations, so if a worker bee is a bad worker bee and one CEO knows it, it would be difficult for that worker bee to find another hive.

I’m not one to stress about appearances, and my children are fairly well behaved. But they are just children, and they are young children at that. I fully expect my kids to do just fine. But I fully expect it to be due in no small part to my constant vigilance. And that’s not much fun.

Daunting Activity #3: another Christmas party

This one, on Saturday night, is more optional, but not really. One of those professional acquaintance situations. My friend Stacy was there on Thanksgivng and warned me about all the child unfriendly decorations at child accessible heights. To make it worse, there’s a 50/50 chance Bill will have to work Saturday night. This does not let me off the hook. Especially since Stacy will be going sans her deployed husband. And her two littlest ones are the same ages as my two littlest ones.

Ah, the stress. Gotta love it.

And now, off to scour the house for Jenny’s church shoes. Won’t she look nice in pink tennies and her dress at the general’s house?

12.07.06
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Santa Claus

Yesterday, we read The True Story of Santa Claus by Paul Prokop. If you have a little Nicholas in your family, he will love that the main character is a boy of the same name. Nicholas wants to stay up to see Santa come. He does get to meet the jolly guy who shares a story about another boy named Nicholas who loved Jesus and promised to spend his life doing God’s work.

“Sometimes, Nicholas would walk through the streets of the town bringing small gifts in Jesus’ name to the poorest children. He wanted the children to have hope and to know that God really loved each of them.”

The story tells how when Nicholas was a very old man, the Child Jesus appeared to him to take him to Heaven. Nicholas was concerned about the children and asked who would take care of them. “‘You will,’ said Jesus. ‘Now you will look after the children of the whole world until the end of time.'”

This book does a wonderful job reconciling the legends surrounding the real man who walked on the earth and became a saint and the guy at the mall handing out candy canes. I know it’s a growing trend among Catholics to follow the theological fashions determined by evangelical Protestants and eliminate Santa Claus. Rule #1: whatever evangelical Protestants are doing, do the opposite. Unless it’s something like having tons of kids, which the Catholics did first. Then it’s ok.

I really can’t support the idea of eliminating all the fun out of Christmas. Remember, we Catholics are allowed to drink, dance, and go trick-or-treating. Nowhere in the Ten Commandments does it say: Thou shall not have a good time.

I think people can go overboard sometimes with Santa. Santa is used as a threat: be good or else no presents. Santa is used as a bribe: go to sleep so Santa will come. Santa, for many, becomes the whole meaning of Christmas. That doesn’t make Santa bad, just abused.

I know some people are concerned that when children discover the “truth” they will doubt all the other “truths” they’ve been told about God, the Church, etc. I don’t know. Personally, I don’t tell my kids a whole lot about Santa Claus. I didn’t tell them that he lived at the North Pole. I didn’t tell them he had a wife or elf helpers. I have read some story books that talked about these things. But I’ve also read them story books about magic beans that grow into tall vines that reach to the sky, and talking bears who go for a walk until their porridge cools, and children who walk through a wardrobe into another world.

I have told them without a doubt that there was a man named Nicholas who, legends say, threw gold down chimneys where it landed in stockings hung to dry. I have told them we don’t know exactly what he did for the poor and for the children because it happened so long ago, but he was loved and was named a saint, and his behavior is emulated by those who admire him.

I do remember finding out that Santa wasn’t “real.” My older brother clued me in. I don’t know why he felt the need to do it, but he was about 10 at the time, and I really think 10 year old boys are, in general, a pretty low form of life. When I think of 10 year old boys, I think Lord of the Flies. Thank goodness, they grow up, eventually. I do remember being really upset to learn the “truth.” I don’t remember doubting the existance of God because of it. I don’t remember feeling betrayed or lied to by my parents. Whatever disappointment I felt, I got over it. Christmas wasn’t ruined, and eventually I understood it better: God works his miracles through us.

It is a superficial faith that demands the “magic” of an unseen hand. It wasn’t a miracle; it was the surgeon’s skill. It wasn’t Divine Providence; it was good luck. It wasn’t God; it was my own intelligence or talent. It’s nothing special; it’s just mom and dad putting the presents there.

Christmas is a special time. There is “magic” in the air. Things outside of our comprehension have happened – majestic miracles, unfathonable mysteries. A saint who transcends time and space to bring tokens of love is but a glimpse of the whole story.
12.06.06
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Happy Feast of St. Nicholas!

St. Nicholas
O good holy Nicholas,
you who brought joy to children,
put in my heart the spirit of childhood
about which the Gospel speaks.
Teach me how to sow
happiness around me. Amen.
—Prayer to St. Nicholas

Send a St. Nicholas Feast Day e-card or another Advent greeting from here.

Last night, we hosted friends for a St. Nicholas Vigil party. The kids watched Nicholas: The Boy Who Became Santa, which I’m sure my kids will want to watch again today. We ate yummy BBQ beef sandwiches which have nothing to do with St. Nicholas, but tasted great (thanks, Rachel)!

For dessert, we ate Speculaas, and there are leftovers to enjoy today. Every year, I make these cookies which are traditionally molded in a wooden cookie mold shaped like St. Nicholas. I don’t have a wooden cookie mold shaped like anything, so I just roll the dough into logs, slice and bake. Every year, I seriously consider buying a wooden cookie mold, but never do. I’m scouring eBay once again, and I found this. It shows St. Nicholas leading his donkey loaded with gifts. Ends in two days. I’ll have to think about it. It’s $30 including the shipping… and I’m only going to use it once a year…and I don’t need it until next year…and this is why I find myself every December 5th wishing I had a mold but not having one. On the other hand, I’m selling my special Christmas stockings faster than I can make them, so I could justify a splurge purchase…

I also spied at eBay some chocolate candy molds shaped like St. Nicholas. Thank goodness those listings ended! The two molds went for over $100 combined. But they were really cute. I’ll stick with our plastic el cheap-o candy molds until after we win the lottery. Or maybe for when we find ourselves making candy for grandchildren.

Last week at work, a woman in my husband’s office was asking everyone if they knew what day was the traditional day for giving gifts. My husband asked her which part of Europe she was talking about. She waved him off and disqualified Catholics from answering the question! None of the non-Catholics had the slightest clue that December 6th (and January 6th) were the days more closely associated with giving gifts throughout all of Europe. There was a time that learning about ethnic traditions of different countries was taught in schools, but I guess they dropped that part of the curriculum to spend more time doing things like dress-in-your-pajamas-day-and-watch movies, which I have known schools to do.

Fritz has just gotten up and can’t wait to see what is in his stocking (St. Nicholas fills the stockings here, not the shoes). The other kids will be up soon, and he’ll have to wait until then. Not much there: gold wrapped chocolate coins, special nativity chocolate lollipops, some Christmas coloring books, and a letter from St. Nicholas (courtesy of my husband):

My Dearest Fritz, Billy, Katie, Jenny, & Pete

As I am sure you are well aware, Christmas is just around the corner. Are you ready? Have you been good this year? Those questions will forever remain with you all the days of your life. Our lives are much like Advent, where we wait & prepare for the coming of our Lord, Jesus Christ. Christmas is very important & just as you must be good to receive gifts on Christmas morn, so too must you be good, & ready for when Jesus comes to us again. Now I know you have been pretty good all year & this has been a tough one with your Daddy gone often & each of you going to the doctor but you must try your very best. Keep up the good work. I know it is hard sometimes but you must be kind & loving to each other & obey your parents. Make sure you do your schoolwork & help your Mom with the chores. But most importantly keep saying your prayers with all of your heart. Be joyful in all that you do & love one another as Jesus loves you. I have left you a few coloring books for you all to share & some candy as a treat. May the Lord bless you all the days of your lives, & may He help you grow in love & kindness.

Sincerely,

St. Nicholas

12.05.06
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The perfect gift

I know exactly what I want to get Bill for Christmas. The problem is, it doesn’t seem to exist. There are three qualities I’m looking for in this item, and the best I can do is two out of three.

grrr…

On a funnier note, here’s a video clip Bill sent me a few weeks ago called The Sweater. It’s the memories of a French Canadian who grew up loving hockey, but especially loving Maurice Richard of the Montreal Canadiens. His Maurice Richard hockey sweater is too small and is confiscated by his mother. She orders him another one by writing a letter to a mail order company asking for a Canadian hockey sweater for her son. It arrives some time later – but the company picks a sweater for the Toronto Maple Leafs instead and his mother refuses to return it! The video is long, but worth it, especially at this time of year with perfect gift giving on our minds.

Well, maybe it’s not so good, since the boy becomes the laughing stock of the town for wearing the wrong jersey. Just add a little stress to your life: if the gift isn’t right, your dear loved one will be scarred for life!

Bill added a Maurice Richard jersey to the Christmas wish list. He’s so picky: it’s got to be the right size, the right fabric, the right team. Honey, the best I can do is two out of three…