Bill sent me an email asking me if I remembered the family with a bunch of kids and a website about their life…
…of course I remembered the Dugger family with 15 kids. But I couldn’t remember their names or other details, so I went to ProLife Search (which is powered by Google), and started typing in things like “family with 15 kids,” “mother of the year with 15 kids,” “one big family,” “TV show about a big family,” etc. One of my searches gave me this link, which is a thread discussing the show that aired on Discovery (?) Channel about them.
The vast bulk of the writers (one of whom nicely listed a link to the Dugger’s website, which is what I wanted, so it wasn’t a complete waste of my time being there) were incredibly, hatefully, judgmental. I just don’t get it.
I mean, why the hate? Why the leaping to conclusions about what kind of people they are? I don’t expect everybody to think this is a great thing (I personally don’t desire to have 15 children myself, but maybe I would feel differently after I had another 5 or 6!). But this family is labeled as ultra-conservative, scary, religious freaks, bad bad bad bad bad. Basically, the accusation seems to be that by the very fact that they have “irresponsibly” had so many children, they were guilty of child abuse, neglect, and the ultimate sin of failing to expose their children to real life.
Now, I don’t want to characterize all these people who used choice curse words and other impolite speech in their diatribes about the personal decisions made by one family as hypocrites, but I would like to point out that many of them salivated at the idea of exposing these overprotected rugrats to alternative lifestyles including homosexuality. Again, I just don’t get it.
I mean, please just take a brief glimpse in the mirror, folks. How can they spit venom, call them all these names, accuse them of abusing their children…and then get even more mad that these conservative, religious nuts don’t accept alternative lifestyles with open arms? Um, to each his own, as long as the Highest Power you follow is yourself? If God commands it, and you follow it, you are wrong, but if you do something because it makes you feel good, then the rest of us should happily accept your personal choices?
I’m not trying to judge the Duggards one way or the other. I know lots of people (some are fundamentalists Christians, some are Mormons and some are Catholics) who do happen to feel that having as many children as possible is God’s Will (I don’t even know if this is truly the Duggard’s position or not). I don’t happen to agree with that. Being open to life does not mean seeking pregnancy as often as possible. Most women achieve a natural infertility due to breastfeeding, and that seems to me to be part of God’s plan. I disagree, but I don’t hate the Duggards for their beliefs. I’m not threatened by their beliefs.
Is all this hatred out of fear? I just don’t get it. I don’t understand how the criticizers can also be upset with what they assume is hatred on the part of the Duggards to others not like them. It’s ok for me to hate you, but not ok for you to hate me?
Reit This Way 
So right on, MIchelle!I am familiar with the Dugger family and have a lot of respect for them, actually. I, too, have heard things like “They’re crazy”, “How irresponsible!”, and “It’s child abuse!”From what I can see, they seem to be doing just fine without any of us commenting on THEIR alternative lifestyle. Their children seem loved, fed, clothed, disciplined, and well intentioned. Their focus is Jesus, homeschooling, bulding a positive team envoronment in their home and encouraging their children to help take care of one another. Far be it from me to judge how many ‘team members’ they have. All the power to em’!Now…on to that whole breastfeeding thing. Have I mentioned how SAD I still am about that whole saga with Shepherd? He’s nine months now and it just feels too darn young to not need me in that way!
Yeah, the biggest complaints seem to be that they wear unfashionable clothes, have boring hair, eat unhealthy food (obviously people from the coasts, since anybody who has ever lived more than 200 miles inland would recognize tater tot casserole as a middle America staple), make the kids do chores, and the parents are brainwashing the kids with their religion. Horrors.
Oh, and on breastfeeding…don’t feel badly. They all have to grow up. Weaning at 9 months, 19 months, 29 months…it always makes a mom realize that he’s not much of a baby anymore.
Did they really get upset about the tater tot casserole? I heard the Duggars say they use ground turkey, fat free milk, and healthy request soups (which is more than I can say for us! We must really be abusing our children!)
The Duggars just absolutely AMAZE me! I saw a special on the Discovery Channel about them recently and actually posted about them as I was watching it – http://jipmeister.wordpress.com/2006/08/14/16-3-i-lose/ –I was really surprised at the same comments that I found when I was searching for them online too. People calling them selfish for having so many kids…what like they are hogging all the kids in the world so nobody else can have any???Bottom line is they are raising their children to be educated, responsible, hard working, honest, and respectful people….maybe the problem people have with them is that they are doing this with so many children and so many other people (I’m reluctantly including myself in that..sigh) aren’t doing half as good a job with MUCH fewer children.There are some aspects of this that I don’t understand, like their choice of names all beginning with J or that they all dress alike, but ya know, It’s their family and their choices aren’t for ME to understand. Ya gotta admire and respect their commitment to marriage and family – THAT is rare these days. I like your blog – what I’ve read of it so far – I came over from joyfulmomathome.blogspot.com.
Yes, Queenie, tater tot casserole is evil. EEEEVIL!Deanna, thanks for stopping by. Yeah, I don’t understand what is selfish about taking on the responsibility to raise a dozen or more future good citizens who will pay taxes and support us via Social Security in our old age. Now, if they were raising a bunch of mobsters or drug addicts I could see some complaining!I guess what people think is that if you want a big family you should adopt some unwanted kids already out there. We could have a huge discussion about adoption laws and foster care laws in this country, and it would become pretty clear why MANY people don’t even consider that an option.There is also the ridiculous and false theory that the Earth will not be able to support the HUGE population we have. Of course, if you never leave New Jersey, you might think the WHOLE WORLD looks like that and wonder where in the heck everyone will live. Go visit Wyoming.And of course, there is the replacement factor of 2.1 children per woman in a society which most of Europe is falling below. And I think the US is right at 2.1. Bottom line: people of this mindset are not having children (or are having one or two only), and evangelical Christians and Mormons and Muslims (some Catholics, too, but not many) are having 4 or 5 or 10. So in 20 years, the young adults in this country could be, mainly, religious zealots…and THAT’S what really scares them. Hence the hate. That’s my guess.Sources: http://www.prcdc.org/summaries/worldpopupdate02/worldpopupdate02.htmlHere’s a quote: In 2000, 44 percent of the world’s population lived in countries with fertility rates at or below replacement level.and another:In order to keep aging dependency ratios from rising above 1995 levels, 20.3 million migrants to Europe and 14.3 million to the United States would be needed between 2000 and 2015. However, less than seven million immigrants were admitted to Europe between 1980 and 1995 and 10.8 million immigrants were admitted to the U.S. during those years. I had another source, but couldn’t link to it. I got to it myself through this website: http://www.childtrendsdatabank.org/indicators/79BirthRates.cfmAlso, Wikipedia has an article, but I hate Wikipedia and won’t use them as a real source.
Honestly, the Duggars inspire me! I have five kids and watching that special made me look at things a little differently. If she can do it with 15 kids, then I can do it with five! And they do it without debt? Explain that one to me! THEY ARE AWESOME!The sad truth is that people today worship themselves too much. Constantly thinking how something makes them feel and not what is truly right and wrong. I may not feel like cleaning my house but I do it anyway. These people are only concerned with what they want to do with their lives and are threatened by those who don’t agree with them. Somewhere God and truth get pushed aside because they are too busy living their lives dictated only by what they feel to be good.God have mercy on them all.Sigh…
Your comboxes are hoppin here lately, Michelle!Hear hear to all these comments about the Dugger family.Their reward will be in heaven, and I have to assume later in life, when they have those kids to take care of them and give them the further joy of grandkids, and hey, maybe some priests and such out of the mix.
hehe…preists would be really nice, Sarah, but they’re not Catholic. We can always pray that they see the WHOLE truth and not just a part of it….