If ever there was a goody two-shoes, I’m it – at least in the last decade. I’m the sort of person who will drag all the kids back into a store to pay for an item that I forgot on the bottom of a grocery cart. Even in my days of youthful indiscretion, I was never arrested or affiliated with a questionable organization.
My record is squeaky clean.
And yet, my every fiber of being recoils at the idea of having a background check done on me. I don’t need to be hiding drugs in my body cavities to resent a strip-search. My privacy and my person is violated.
My last church required background checks and training for any adult who worked with children on a regular basis (defined as more than a few times a year). As a CCD teacher, I had to submit to this. I didn’t mind that…too much. I understand that it is necessary. As a teacher, I would be alone with children. As a teacher, I would be gaining the trust and confidence of children. I was happy that my parish was getting smart and proactive and doing what they could to prevent the abuse of children. And the training class, although emotionally difficult to endure, was very educational and empowering (it is empowering to understand exactly what behaviors in others are triggering that internal alarm).
But I belong to a homeschool group that meets at a building on post and is part of the child services. The child services runs the before-and-after-school care as well as most of the sports and educational opportunities for kids (from soccer to gymnastics to dance). Their building is filled with classrooms for their before-and-after-school kids which sit empty during the school day. The homeschool group is allowed to use the building at this time, but all families must comply with the child services rules: No children under 4 permitted in classrooms (not child-proofed). Parents must stay in the building at all times. No children left unattended. No corporal punishment to be used on any child.
These are all fine, and I have no problem agreeing to abide by them to use the facility. {Side note: one mother said that she had been told that the “no corporal punishment” rule included her restraining her child in her lap. She had a young child in full violent meltdown and was told she could not calm her child by this method. The rep from the building denied that being the policy, but somebody got all uppity.}
But there is also a vague policy about background checks. Of course, they have a background check policy for any adult who works with children. That makes sense. The homeschoolers have a co-op, and those involved in that type of classroom situation should have to comply under the terms of the building use. But I questioned the president about the rest of us. I have no intent on participating in the co-op. I have no intent on ever escorting somebody’s children to the bathroom by myself (I’ve got 5 of my own to worry about, I don’t need to watch someone else’s kids!!). I may attend a party or a playdate at this building, but I don’t see myself being alone with children other than my own (they follow me everywhere I tell you!). I don’t feel that the background check policy applies to parents who are simply attending social events with their children. I did not need to have a background check done on me when Katie took a dance class there, and I sat in the hallway and waited for her. I should not have to have one done on me to take my kids to a party.
But the president decided to err on the side of caution and told me that anybody who uses the building should have the check done. So, I would not be able to take my kids to a Christmas party unless I complied. And her point is this: wouldn’t we all feel safer if we knew that everyone had had the background check done?
Yes, I suppose.
I suppose I would feel safer if we all submitted to a strip search before entering the building, but I sure as heck wouldn’t be happier!
Am I wrong? Is the background check becoming the latest big WHATEVER in our lives, like taking off shoes, walking through metal detectors, and having our diaper bags scanned?
Any suggestions for a good retort to her “we’ll all feel safer” position?
Reit This Way 
Oh, don’t get me started! The Diocese of Arlington has us complete the Virtus training and a background check including fingerprinting for all Diocesan activities with children. That means if you are a Scout parent and want to drive kids to an event, you have to be checked out.If you want to volunteer for CCD you have to be checked out. The six page questionnaire is monstrous for us military types who have moved every couple of years.Now when I took the Virtus training the leader kept saying this is not about just decreasing liability-it is about protecting kids. Right. This is all about decreasing liability payouts. Screening all moms who set foot in a child filled building makes as much sense as checking out 80-year-old grannies for terrorist activities.Thank the legal community for your inconvenience.
I did the Virtus training too. Besides CCD, the school and preschool did the checks, but they also <>required<> parents to volunteer (in the lunchroom, in the school office, etc). So, you really couldn’t just opt out of that kind of activity if you were uncomfortable with the background check. Basically, every parent with children involved in parish life would end up getting checked. Imagine a reformed felon who dedicates her life to serving God and the embarrassment/horror of having everybody know what she did as a young adult. Yes, Ma’am, your children can go to school here, but you can only work Bingo and we’ll be sure that you’re never alone with children since you stole a car when you were 19.But I can’t blame churches or other organizations from wanting to protect themselves from liability. It’s better than turning a blind eye to real problems to the detriment of children’s safety. Background checks are inconvenient and obnoxious, but understandable. My BIG gripe is having one done as a matter of course, even if there is no intent for the individual to take responsibility for children. Worse yet, the false security that comes if “everybody” gets the check, except for random protesters like me, and then everybody assumes that everybody else is “safe.” And the background check will only pick up those who have been caught.
I am currently packing for a trip to Oregon, that will require me to get on a plane. I am having a hard time not becoming irritated that I have to leave my hand sanitzer and chapstick in my checked luggage! How ridiculous is that?!Umm…..it definitely doesn’t make me feel ANY safer to know that all other women will be doing the same. If someone REALLY wants to do us harm, they will. Leave all of us moms with teething rings and mascara alone!
A lot of times I tow the line on this issue, especially as a parish employee. But your case is weird. Yeah, it does sort of look like the next big “WHATEVER” and it also, I have to agree, makes as much sense as the 80yo grannie comment that Catholic Mom made. In parish life, I think it’s a totally different conversation. But you’re not talking parish life. You’re talking about watching YOUR OWN kids. Unfortunately, I have the sinking feeling (for you) that reason and logic are not going to work…I’m interested in ideas for the retort though! Very interested!!!