Eric Scheske quotes an article written by Helen Kirwan-Taylor who is apparantly bored with motherhood:

Invitations to attend a child’s birthday party or, worse, a singalong session were met with the same refrain: ‘I would love to but I just can’t spare the time.’

The nanny was dispatched in my place, and almost always returned complaining that my son had been singled out for pitiful stares by the other mothers.

I confess that I was probably ogling the merchandise at Harvey Nichols or having my highlights done instead. Of course I love my children as much as any mother, but the truth is I found such events so boring that I made up any excuse.

I have to admit that if I were another mother at that party, I’d be giving the poor boy some pitiful stares, too. Especially if I knew she was shopping instead. Perhaps if she was a high-powered CEO or a talented surgeon or a supermodel, I might have an ounce of sympathy with a woman trying to balance a career with the demands of motherhood. But to have a nanny so you could continue to live a self-centered life? I wonder why someone would even have children in the first place?

Kids are supposed to be fulfilling, life-changing, life-enhancing fun: why was my attitude towards them so different?

While all my girlfriends were dropping important careers and occupying their afternoons with cake baking, I was begging the nanny to stay on, at least until she had read my two a bedtime story. What kind of mother hates reading bedtime stories? A bad mother, that’s who, and a mother who is bored rigid by her children.

I’m amused that she labels herself a “bad mother.” I suspect that she doesn’t really feel that way, though. She says it the same way someone in a failed marriage accepts 2% of responsibility for what happened: “I suppose I’m a bad wife…I suppose I should have waited on him hand and foot,” meaning, actually, “What a dirtbag; he did nothing for me and expected me to do everything for him.” She calls herself a bad mother for finding her children boring, but what she’s really saying is that she’s horribly disappointed that her children have not fulfilled her or changed her life or provided her with life-enhancing fun.

Life-enhancing fun? A glance at What to Expect: The First Year before conception might have clued the woman into the fun part. Stinky diapers, spit-up, teething, colic, immunizations, ear infections, baby-proofing your house…fun? How about looking at a book on disciplining your school-age child for an idea of just how much fun it could all be?

I’m not at all saying that raising children isn’t fun. I have a wonderful attitude towards my children. I love them dearly…but I accept them for who they are. Ask not what your children can do for you… The change, the fulfillment, comes not from them making your life better, but in serving them and in learning that there are more important things in life than you.