The boys are going through withdrawal.

While on vacation, they had access to and played video and computer games daily. Here at home, there are no such amenities.

So, the boys keep asking if they can go play over at the homes of various friends who have video games. I have explained repeatedly over the last few days that it is rude to go over to someone’s home and ask if you can come in to play. They can ask someone over here (the boring land with no technological amusements), or they can ask someone to play outside (what they used to do before discovering how wonderful it could be to sit and chase monsters around a TV screen), but they may not ask to go inside someone’s house.

Last night, Bill and I discussed, again, our philosophies on video and computer games. It was like a parenting refresher course…one of those sessions with no children around to overhear us rehash our position and make sure we can speak as one when the kids beg, plead, and bargain for a new privilege.

And it was a good thing we did it, because I was about ready to cave. I’ve had such difficulty with Fritz in motivating him to do schoolwork and practice the piano that I was ready to introduce a new privilege solely for the ability to take it away as punishment or allow use as a reward. And Fritz isn’t a bad kid. He’s actually very helpful with chores and loves to help with Pete, especially in getting him in and out of the van. But school and piano are work, and he just doesn’t want to do it.

Bill, who has in the past enjoyed video and computer games and, one would think, might be most sympathetic with the boys’ desires, is firmly opposed to the whole thing. In fact, yesterday I overheard him using pretty strong language in telling Billy why he wasn’t getting video games ever (things like brain turning to mush, etc). Of course, Bill didn’t have these diversions when he was 6 or 8 years old, so making them available to his little boys is not a top priority.

It’s not that we’re opposed to these games in general. TV, computer and video games are all forms of entertainment. Entertainment is necessary and good, depending on the content and the time spent doing it. When Fritz and Billy were littler, they had fairly unlimited access to educational TV. Fritz could recite his alphabet and identify most of the letters by age 2. I attribute this to his viewing of Sesame Street once or twice a day, with me singing along and talking about the letter of the day. None of my other children were quite as advanced, but then none of my other children had a mother who could sit around for an hour and watch Sesame Street with them.

Katie and Jenny have not had unlimited access to educational TV. Katie was 2 and Jenny a newborn when I began homeschooling. The TV was off for much of the day. Katie and Jenny have had unlimited access to educational life as they have sat at the table and listen to the boys’ lessons. They didn’t hear the alphabet song but rather the poetry of Robert Louis Stevenson.

The few hours in the day that are available for watching TV should not be ceded to the boys and video games which are inappropriate for their younger sisters (inappropriate, not in content, but in time spent). In other words, perhaps an 8 year old could play a video game for a half hour. But a 3 year old should not. If our one TV has a video game on it, then that is the prime entertainment for that half hour and Jenny will be “playing” (watching) too.

I suppose we could get another TV. I suppose we could put it in my bedroom.

Uh, no.

I’ve never had a TV in my bedroom…not when growing up…not in college…not in my adulthood. Definitely not to provide a place for my boys to play video games.

So, video games are out. Computer games? Perhaps. Someday. I’ve seen several that were educational. The player needs to do math to obtain ammo or to proceed down the path or to learn secrets. These were the games I was prepared to allow the boys to play in order to punish/reward them. But then I would have to share my computer. And the boys would have to take turns. And I’d have to monitor the timer and do all sorts of interventions…pain in the rear.

For now, at least, computer games are out too. It’s just another one of those things that they don’t need. And I can’t really justify them having.