As Bill bid me adieu for work yesterday, he had the air of one saying goodbye before heading to the executioners. I assured him it wouldn’t be that bad. We survived Kosovo. We survived Hurricane Katrina.

School is nearing an end for us, and once we get into summer, the other neighborhood kids will be out and I’ll have no limit of mother’s helpers and babysitters available.

However, yesterday’s workday of 12 1/2 hours (plus commute) would seem to be the norm for a “good” day, so I think this might be the extent of the kids’ time with Daddy during the week:

Bedtime stories with Dad. My view as I nurse Petey to sleep.

On the 5th or 6th day, give or take a few millenium, God created camel crickets and He declared them good. Who am I to argue with Him?

Instead, I’m trying to see things from His perspective. I suppose they must be an important link in some food chain – perhaps providing sustenance to song birds that entrance my ears or the Cardinals and Blue Jays that delight my eyes.

Or perhaps their raison d’etre is to invade the homes of wimps like me to give me a brief, harmless lesson in courage. I mean, if I can’t defend my home and family against a little bug, what would I do if a rabid dog or wild boar attacked us?

~ Tough Love vs. Spanking ~
(a psychological conundrum)

Most of America’s populace think it improper to spank children, so I have tried other methods to control my kids when they have one of “those moments.” One that I found effective is for me to just take the child for a car ride and talk. They usually calm down and stop misbehaving after our car ride together. I’ve included a photo below of one of my sessions with my son, in case you would like to use the technique.

Thanks, Barb.

We dubbed our new van “Moby”.

And don’t worry. No alcohol was abused in its “christening” – after all, that’s a bottle of Asti. I would never waste Asti on such frivolity.

Went to the grocery store. Despite its Government Surplus color, it stood out pretty clearly at the post commissary. Fritz pointed his arm and said:

“Thar she blows!”

Are we just dorky homeschoolers or is that normal for a 7 year old?

The best thing about St. Patrick’s feast day falling on a Friday is that corned beef will be heavily discounted at the commissary tomorrow when I can buy/make/eat the stuff.

Last night, Peter was happily devouring green beans all by himself. Fritz declared that he was eating like a barbarian.

This is a pretty strong statement from a kid who recently asked, when he noticed a fork by his plate, “What’s THIS for?”

I’ve already said all that I can about domestic barbarism here. At least now my kids have some sense of decency at the table, even if they aren’t perfect in execution. Let’s just say that they are very good at seeing the splinter in their siblings’ eyes.

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver’s license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!!

DANGEROUS: What’s for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: What did I do wrong?
SAFEST: Here’s fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn’t overdo it today.
SAFEST: I’ve always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.

My husband, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. When I’m in a good mood, it turns green. When I’m in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he’ll buy me diamonds! Here have some chocolate.

{Note: that bit above is part of the joke. My husband would never buy me a mood ring.}

After Fritz, I learned that it isn’t wise to teach a baby new tricks. A first-time mom can’t wait for her baby to start solid food, sit-up, crawl, walk…

…then a first-time mom learns how sad it is that the child is developing so quickly and you can never go back to those sweet days of holding the baby all day long.

OK, holding a baby all day long is a pain, but from what I gather, once you’re out of that stage you look back with longing. I’ll let you know in another decade or so when I’m out of that stage, since I think I’ll be doing this f.o.r.e.v.e.r…….

So, beginning with Billy, I really didn’t encourage new development. I remember having everybody coo at Jenny, since she hadn’t started doing it and the docs thought she should be. That’s different. I remember trying to teach Fritz to crawl. He was about 9 months old and up on all fours, but going nowhere. I remember when he was a toddler trying to teach him to use a stool to climb on a chair, since he annoyed me so much asking to be helped up, then down, then up. Billy was pushing around on his belly by 6 months of age, and I had to hide the stools, since he would relocate them to climb up wherever, and then fall off.

But now, Child #5 has gotten several lessons on getting from his belly to a crawl position. He keeps scooting around, but then falling forward and landing on his tummy. Sometimes he would then roll to his back and complete the impression that he was a stuck bug kicking his feet and waving his arms and begging for rescue. This has been going on for weeks. I, the confident mom, was sure he would figure out what to do eventually. But he hadn’t and I was tired of coming to the rescue more and more as his desire to get around increased (and so his falling increased).

So, two days ago, I began to assist him in walking his arms back and pushing up. He’s needed very little help, just that beginning part where I put his hands on the ground and walk them back a few steps…he would immediately put his knees down and rock backwards.

And now, my older boys have just informed me that they witnessed him do it all by himself.

yikes.

Last weekend, sunny skies and temperatures in the 80s.

This weekend, possibility of snow.

Blessed sister, holy mother, spirit of the fountain, spirit of the garden,
Suffer us not to mock ourselves with falsehood
Teach us to care and not to care
Teach us to sit still
Even among these rocks,
Our peace in His will
And even among these rocks
Sister, mother
And spirit of the river, spirit of the sea,
Suffer me not to be separated

And let my cry come unto Thee.

Ash-Wednesday by T S Eliot