Everybody’s a bit cranky and tired today. Late to bed, early to rise syndrome. But that’s okay…the county fair only happens once a year. We had a good time.

I remembered as we pulled out of our neighborhood that I forgot the camera, but I didn’t want to be late for the youth rodeo, so we didn’t go back. We got there in time to see kids as young as 3 and 4 years old holding on for dear life to the backs of bucking sheep. Kids who were a bit older were trying to ride calves. And the two little girls with the fastest times clearing the barrels couldn’t have been over twelve. I swore they were going to fall off the horse when they charged for the finish line.

I did wish for the camera when Pete got on his first Midway ride, but I doubt I would have been able to snap a shot. I was so nervous, and I instructed Billy to hold on to his arm the whole time. OK, so I just watched three year olds get thrown from sheep, and I’m worried about my buckled two year old on a ride that goes round and round and up about 9 feet in the air. I’m a ninny, what can I say? Later, he rode the cars that go in a circle and do not go up and down (what a relief), and it was the cutest thing to see him energetically throwing the steering wheel from side to side with a huge grin on his face. He would have been happy on that ride for 20 minutes, but fortunately for the crying one year old and the scared stiff three year old covering her eyes, it was over in only a few minutes. Why do parents make their kids go on these rides?

Oh, wait, I can’t judge. I forced my kids on rides at Disney World 3 years ago…but they were four and six years old and afraid of It’s a Small World and I spent a ton of money to get into that park, by golly, and we weren’t going to stand around and watch everyone else have fun. So, really, it was totally different. So, I can label those parents as big meanies, but I…I was just doing what was necessary to help my children overcome ridiculous fears. Harumph.

By the time the ride tickets were gone, it was after 9 pm and dark. We bought some cotton candy and made our way to the van. I was worried about finding our way on dark country roads at night, but we didn’t get lost until we got to Leavenworth, the town right outside post. By the way, Lorri, we did spot the buffalo outside the back gate on our way to the fair. It was 1030 before silence descended on our household.

All the kids agreed that it was a good family adventure, except for Katie who was upset that she didn’t get an animal balloon because she stayed with Daddy to watch the rodeo while Mommy took the littler ones for a stroll. We promised her next time, we would get a babysitter for her, so she wouldn’t have to be so miserable. OK, I really am a mean mom after all.

A fool and his money are soon parted. If however, the venture does not involve money, if however, the venture is **FREE**, you can bet that a cheap fool will keep his money, but waste his day. I am a cheap fool…perhaps the Queen Cheap Fool, and I dragged along my King and our five little jesters on an adventure to learn many lessons we already knew.

Lesson #1: Wither goest THE PRESIDENT, there also goeth large crowds, long lines, hassles and inconveniences.

Lesson #2: When you know you will encounter situations involving large crowds, long lines, hassles and inconveniences, it is best to leave children under the age of 10 at home.

Lesson #3: If the adventure is in part for the benefit of the children and there will be large crowds, long lines, hassles and inconveniences, it is best to have all other conditions be optimal: nice weather, plenty of snacks, not nap time, a stroller for resting, amusing things in pockets, etc.

Lesson #4: Having FREE admission in honor of President’s Day will draw HUGE crowds.

Lesson #5: Freezing weather and ice on the ground will not deter HUGE crowds, rather it will deter sane people but encourage cheap fools who have deluded themselves into thinking that perhaps, just perhaps, the freezing cold weather might keep people home.

Today, Mount Vernon offered FREE admission. They opened at 9 am, I read. We’ve been to Mount Vernon, but not in a while, and not inside the house. We had a year-long pass, but it has expired. Since we are moving this summer, I didn’t want to spring for another year-long pass, or even the one-day admission, which is more than $10 for anyone over 6, I think. I’m cheap.

My thought was to get there at or before 9 am. It was cold. It’s a holiday. I thought we could get there before most people roll out of bed on the Monday morning of a three-day weekend. Perhaps we’d wait a bit for entrance to the house, but surely not for long, right?

We ended up getting there around 9:20 am. I won’t even include that as a “mistake” because arriving 20 or 30 minutes earlier would probably not have significantly altered the rest of the morning. The parking lots there were full. We had to go up this one road, but our return route was blocked. We cut through residential streets and discovered satellite parking in a church lot with shuttle buses. The line was long – more than 2 bus loads. And it was now after 10 am.

Mistake #1: The smart thing at this point would have been to announce a change in plans and gone to Dunkin’ Donuts or Krispy Kreme. Really, this would have been the best thing to do. Instead we decided to hoof it over to Mount Vernon. It was only about a half mile, and the half inch of snow that fell yesterday thankfully provided just enough traction over the icy, cratered path. So it seemed like a workable plan.

Mistake #2: I had no idea that THE PRESIDENT was going to Mount Vernon at 9 am. Had I known this, I would have killed the plan or considered a much later time frame. At least we now understood the large crowds and blocked traffic. Grrrr.

Mistake #3: I had no idea that THE PRESIDENT’s visit would continue until about 11 am and that the house would be closed until his departure. By the time we got up to the house, it was nearly 11 am, and THE PRESIDENT was gone. But hundreds of people had gotten into line for the house tour while listening to THE PRESIDENT wish everyone a merry President’s Day.

Mistake #4: We actually got in line. Bill figured if we were going to debate and waffle about waiting in line, we may as well do it while in line and not stand to the side watching the line grow longer and longer. The line began to move and this led us to believe that it might not take that long to get to the head of it.

We waited for an eternity, that was probably about 15 minutes in duration to anyone who wasn’t accompanied by a 5 year old who clung tightly to your leg in an attempt to keep warm making muffled complaints about the weather into your pants, a 3 year old who repeatedly and loudly declared her desire to return to her place of residence while imitating a 30 pound sack of loosely bound potatoes lying on a dirt path, and a 20 month old who bemoaned his cold hands but who continually pulled his mittens off or squirmed and fought whenever you tried to put them on.

Finally we gave up and went to IHOP. It’s supposed to be in the 50s for the next three days – a high of 57 on Thursday. Couldn’t have had that weather today, huh? Saturday is supposed to be 48 degrees. Maybe we’ll try then. I may be a cheap fool, but I’d usually much rather lose money than time. In this case, it seems I will lose both.

Yesterday at the orthodontist’s office there seemed to be a minor hullabaloo. Since it didn’t seem to be alarming and did seem to be under control (no mass hysteria), and didn’t seem to concern me, I happily buried my nose in my crossword puzzle book and paid it no mind. I guess, though, that my subconscious registered enough of the conversations that when Fritz and I stepped out of the office ten minutes later and I saw a woman and her 4 year old standing by her minivan and I glanced through the vehicle’s front windshield and saw a toddler buckled into his car seat, I realized immediately that she had locked her child in and herself out of the car.

“Help IS on the way, right?” I asked as we passed. I have AAA and would gladly have called and waited with her for them to come and rescue the baby. “Oh, yes,” she said. Good. I like to perform good deeds and all, but my kids were at a friend’s house and delaying my return by an hour would have been inconvenient. Not that my friend would have minded, of course. “What? You stopped to help some stranger with a baby locked in a car and made me feed your kids lunch? How dare you!” No, said friend would have done the same thing.

Fritz and I buckled up, but I just had to drive by the woman and roll my window down. “I’ve done the same thing,” I reassured her. “More than once!” She was visibly relieved. “Oh! I was starting to think I was the only one!” I smiled, waved and drove off. Nope. You’re not the only one, honey. Been there, done that.