About 2 1/2 years ago, we replaced our crumbling, heavy, ten year old TV with a lightweight, flat screen LCD set. It is our sole TV. It came with a V-chip.

The V-chip is a nice thing. It doesn’t replace parental guidance and discernment, but it is convenient for those times when a young child inadvertently begins surfing the channels or an older child intentionally starts looking for alternative programming. We don’t get any premium channels, but it’s not R-rated movies that concern me so much. A brief visit to a country music video channel might coincide with the playing of Trace Adkins’ Honky Tonk, Badonkadonk, which is eyeful enough for adults and completely inappropriate for kids.

Up until a year ago, we had no problem with the V-chip, which we set at the most conservative level for all programming. Even Y-7 shows were screened. When you change channels, the programming comes on briefly – perhaps for 3 or 4 seconds – and then the screen goes blank awaiting the secret code if the rating is higher than the settings allow. Convenient for adult viewing after the kids go to bed, typing in the code frees all channels until the TV is turned off.

When we moved to this new house a year ago, our one option for TV (aside from satellite) was with the phone company and their fiber optic network. Soon thereafter I noticed that Bill would turn on a cop show or something like that after 9 pm, and it wouldn’t ask for the code. We checked the settings and did all the troubleshooting we could think of. The V-chip worked on some channels some of the time, but not always. I theorize that the problem lies with the phone company not broadcasting appropriate ratings. I considered launching a campaign to have them clean up their act, but decided that it wasn’t worth the hassle. The V-chip is a convenience, but isn’t my primary means of controlling what my children watch. They watch certain shows at certain times of the day, period.

But I do allow Fritz, the oldest child and the earliest riser, some freedom in channel surfing in the early morning. He knows the PBS stations and Disney and Nickelodeon (which doesn’t begin it’s Nick Jr programming until 9 am), and I will let him go between them. {Is the desire to flip between channels innately male, or what?} Once the younger kids get up, though, he needs to restrict his viewing to more appropriate shows (no Jimmy Neutron, for example).

For some reason, although we can watch drug deals, sex and violence without restriction at night, Bob the Builder was recently deemed too dangerous for viewing by my anonymous TV provider. Because the V-chip takes those few seconds to kick in, Fritz can see the show for a moment before the screen goes blank. Now, Fritz is too old for Bob the Builder, but he still enjoys it, and once Pete (my other early riser) is up, his viewing choices diminish. He and Petey will sit and watch the show together: Fritz will sing the theme song and interact with his younger brother the whole time. It’s quite cute. Fritz knows the show is on, but can’t view it. For a bit, we could fiddle with the channel and get it to come on, but in the last week or so, you had to type in the code to watch the show. So I did.

Fritz wanted to know the code. I told him that there was no point in having a code if he knew it. We’ve been back and forth on this for several days now. The code was the factory set code of “0000” – not exactly a tough thing to decipher, but it’s been working for 2 1/2 years now, right? But 2 years ago, I didn’t have a nearly 9 year old who desired to know the code. I wasn’t particularly shocked when he announced the correct code to me this morning. Won’t he be upset when that code doesn’t work tomorrow morning?

In another 2 years, perhaps he’ll be clever enough to not tell me that he knows the code. Perhaps in 2 years, I’ll be clever enough to have him think I don’t know it either. Just a half step ahead, that’s all I need…