Monthly Archives: February 2007

02.09.07
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Stupid Mom Tricks

Yesterday at the orthodontist’s office there seemed to be a minor hullabaloo. Since it didn’t seem to be alarming and did seem to be under control (no mass hysteria), and didn’t seem to concern me, I happily buried my nose in my crossword puzzle book and paid it no mind. I guess, though, that my subconscious registered enough of the conversations that when Fritz and I stepped out of the office ten minutes later and I saw a woman and her 4 year old standing by her minivan and I glanced through the vehicle’s front windshield and saw a toddler buckled into his car seat, I realized immediately that she had locked her child in and herself out of the car.

“Help IS on the way, right?” I asked as we passed. I have AAA and would gladly have called and waited with her for them to come and rescue the baby. “Oh, yes,” she said. Good. I like to perform good deeds and all, but my kids were at a friend’s house and delaying my return by an hour would have been inconvenient. Not that my friend would have minded, of course. “What? You stopped to help some stranger with a baby locked in a car and made me feed your kids lunch? How dare you!” No, said friend would have done the same thing.

Fritz and I buckled up, but I just had to drive by the woman and roll my window down. “I’ve done the same thing,” I reassured her. “More than once!” She was visibly relieved. “Oh! I was starting to think I was the only one!” I smiled, waved and drove off. Nope. You’re not the only one, honey. Been there, done that.

02.08.07
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ST-HOUSE

Melissa Wiley has had some readers commenting on stupid kid arguments. Her kids had been fighting over the dryer lint! But other people’s kids have fought over things even more inane than that…like the two kids fighting over imaginary goggles. I can’t possibly top that.

But the thread did recall a most amusing argument that occurred over two years ago between Billy (then age 4) and Katie (then age 3). We were on a road trip which meant that my tolerance for such bickering would normally be very low. We had stopped at a gas station so Fritz could use the toilet. Katie started talking about one of the buildings nearby and referred to it, incorrectly, as a “house.” Billy told her it was a “store.” Back and forth they went: “HOUSE!” “STORE!” “HOUSE!” “STORE!” When Bill and Fritz returned to the car, he opened his mouth to silence it, but I stopped him – motioning that he should just listen.

Billy brought Fritz up to speed on the “discussion,” and so he began to assist Billy with convincing Katie it was really a store and not a house. They used logic, pointing out that people didn’t live there, it was a building wherein things were sold. They tried a forceful argument – shouting as loudly as they could. Thank goodness they were little and tightly buckled in or things might have come to blows.

Katie, even though she was only three, was not ignorant. She had realized early on that it really was a store. But she was apparently too proud to admit her mistake to her older brothers. She stuck with “house”. After a bit more, she realized she had both brothers in quite a snit, and kept arguing just for the fun of it. I know this to be true, because eventually the discussion went something like this:

“Katie, it’s a STORE…say, STORE.”

“I caaaan’t!”

“Come on, Katie, say ST-OOORRRRE.”

“ST-house.”

“No, Katie, STORE.”

“St-St-St-HOUSE.”

“Try harder, Katie, STORE.”

“I caaaan’t.”

My husband spoke up from the driver’s seat. “What can’t you say, Katie?”

“Store.”

I don’t know who laughed louder: Bill and I or the boys who couldn’t believe that Dad could trick her so easily. They tried to do the same thing, but she went back to her “st-house” routine. “Do it again, Dad,” they cried, and he might have done it. But since they now realized it was not an educational oversight that had her convinced a store was a house but rather that their little sister had managed to get them all worked up for her own amusement, the talk in the car quickly turned to other things like how much farther, what time is it, and what snacks do we have.

My initial instincts had been to squelch the debate from the beginning. After two or three rounds of “HOUSE!-STORE!” I was preparing my lungs for a loud, “CUT IT OUT!” I’m glad I was able to restrain myself (and Bill), because two years later the scene remains at the top of our funny road trip conversations.

I also understand now how my mom seemed to be “car-deaf” when we were kids. Smart moms go out and get one of those magic, invisible, sound-wave repulsers and install it between the front seats and the rear of the vehicle!

02.07.07
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The bad thing about Veggie Tales…

We own about 15 or so Veggie Tales videos. They’re cute, and my kids have enjoyed them. They go through phases – won’t watch them for months, and then won’t watch anything else for months. I’m not sure if the kids “get” the moral of the story, meaning, I’m not sure the videos are doing much to alter my children’s behavior, but at least they are learning, somewhat, some Bible stories.

Except King George and the Ducky…yeah, an adult will know it’s about King David and Bathsheba. But if adultery and murder are too much for little kids (and gee, I hope they are!), why even bother trying to tell the story? Surely there are other examples of coveting thy neighbor’s goods?

I digress. That is a problem with Veggie Tales, but not the one I intended to address. No, my big complaint is with Rack, Shack, and Benny and Daniel in the Lion’s Den. Both stories come from the book of Daniel. My study Bible says that it is debatable whether the book of Daniel is prophetic and written during the Babylonian captivity, or if it was written long after the captivity and is more a recounting of the trials through which God brought His people. Either way, the moral of the story is God Saves. That’s a great moral, right? Sure.

Find yourself being thrown into a furnace? No worries! Pit of hungry lions your afternoon’s adventure? No problem! If you are good, love God, and pray hard enough, God will save you! On eagle’s wings and all that…

Yes, but…what about St. Ignatius of Antioch? Did God not love him? And all those thousands of other Christians who met their fate in the Roman Coliseums? Or the millions persecuted in the past 2000 years?

Or is it that God only saves the Jews? Hey, remember the 1920s, 30s and 40s? Was God not interested in helping His people in Dachau?

The story of Joseph (with that amazing technicolor dreamcoat) is a much better example of God’s saving hand. Joseph suffered for years in slavery and in prison before the Divine plan was revealed. Veggie Tales did this story as well – Little Joe – and it’s fine. Doesn’t quite show the passage of time and kids might think that God works all his miracles all at once, but it’s fine. At least, though, you can see that all his trials put him in just the right place at the right time to save God’s chosen people.

But Little Joe is overshadowed by Daniel and the three guys at the bunny factory who are saved from certain death by a miracle. And so, when my son, Billy, flips through our Picture Book of Saints to find a story to read and picks St. Ignatius who is depicted surrounded by lions, his little mind fully expects to hear about a miracle, not a martyr. The poor kid was flabbergasted.

I suppose the story of St. Stephen doesn’t make for a good, happy-ending tale, eh? No, not if your martyrdom is the end of it all, which, thankfully, it’s not. How about the story of St. Paul? Let’s show him holding everyone’s coats while St. Stephen is stoned to death, then show him blinded on the road to Damascus (en route to persecute more Christians!), and then show him writing half of the New Testament from prison! Hmmm…not too many happy endings in the New Testament. Perhaps that is why the makers of Veggie Tales have stuck mostly with OT stories like Daniel, Joshua, Joseph, and Esther. Let’s skip Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel, Noah, and Aaron and the golden idol and that messy deal with slaughtering everyone who turned away from God.

It is unfortunate that the reality of this world is usually an unhappy ending…sometimes an unhappy beginning and middle too. We avoid suffering as much as possible, and that is understandable. But kids need to know the truth, too. No, they don’t need to get all the gory details or never hear a happy ending. But they need to understand that suffering does not mean that God doesn’t love you. They need to know that always God brings good out of misery…you just might not be able to witness the good of your personal misery from an earthly position. So let’s see Larry the Cucumber as St. Paul dying a martyr’s death! But let’s see the spread of Christianity from all of his writings, too.

Yeah, OK, that’s ridiculous. I guess I just need to add to my collection of Glory Stories and CCC of America Saints and Heroes DVDs. Would my kids even believe a cartoon tomato could get squashed beyond recovery?

02.05.07
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Breakin’ the law

Murphy’s law, that is.

You know the law that says that if you shampoo the smelly rug and the ottoman where your daughter threw up, that someone else in your family is sure to begin vomiting in short order?

I can’t stand the smell of my family room, and as soon as everyone is up I plan to get out my Bissel.

I just hope there are no Murphy’s cops around to catch me!

02.05.07
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Change of Plans

We were supposed to have a party yesterday. Fritz found the baby Jesus in the Epiphany cake, and it was required that we throw a carnival bash. Twist my arm.

But then Bill found out last week he had to go TDY on Saturday (in addition to the Sunday trip he already had planned). Carnival party – CANCELED.

Since Bill was going to be gone on Sunday, I invited several friends over to watch the Superbowl. Their husbands are deployed, so except for the boys (the oldest would be 12), it would be an estrogen laden event. Brownies, cheesecake, Smirnoff Ice or wine, Cheetos for the kids.

The first thing Katie said to me this morning was that her stomach hurt. She then spent the next two hours writhing in agony. I can not exaggerate her behavior in demonstrating how horrible she felt. She held nothing back. Finally, she began throwing up. She alternated throwing up and writhing for another hour or so, and then just switched to throwing up and sleeping. Mass – CANCELED. Later in the morning, I checked to see when it was on EWTN, but it seems to be on at 9 AM and that’s it. At 9 AM I was still undecided how my morning would proceed – hoping that we could go to the late Mass if the vomiting got whatever was upsetting her out of her system.

When it appeared that the vomiting wasn’t going to stop anytime soon, I called my friends and explained the situation. I still can’t tell if this is an isolated “something I ate disagreed with me” or a virus that is potentially contagious. Superbowl party – CANCELED.

I also called my friend Monica in New Jersey. She and her 4 kids planned to come down to visit me on Monday for 2 days/2 nights. We agreed to have a pow-wow later in the day to see if Katie improved, indicating a possible non-virus upset stomach situation. Since Katie was still occasionally throwing up by 7 PM when Monica called, we decided to hold off for at least 24 hours. Visit from great friends – CANCELED.

I have to believe that this was just not meant to be a social time for me. I don’t really know if I got much else accomplished. I did get back to work on my niece’s dress – with dubious success. But other than that – hmmm. Holding an uncomfortable and unable-to-be-comforted child for two hours? Praying that my kids won’t think that every time Dad is away all someone else has to do is pretend to have a horrible stomach ache and they’ll get out of Mass?

Oh well. I’m just hoping that nobody else starts vomiting tomorrow. Or if they do, they have the decency to wait until I’ve had my morning coffee.

02.04.07
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Head banging

No. I’m not listening to hard rock.

I can’t find my seam ripper, and I’ve had to rip seams all day long over and over again.

The fact that I am seam ripping is bad enough. But I’m working on a crowded dining room table – fighting for space between the Othello game and the school books that weren’t picked up from Friday and various personal projects that the kids have their hands in. I’m sitting in Jenny’s seat because it’s the closest one to the outlet on the wall.

I’m taking a break because I’ve ripped the same seam more than once, and I just can’t sit there anymore. Jenny decides to color. In her seat.

She comes to me, very sorry, because she accidentally colored the dress. Sure enough, green crayon on the white Communion dress. It’s on the inside, but I can see it on the reverse.

Anyone? Any ideas? Crayon on white satin? I can’t wash it because of the lace. Let me know…I’m the one, over there, with the bruise on the forehead and the dent in the drywall.

02.03.07
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HPV Controversy

Yesterday, a friend sent a global email about the new vaccine against HPV, an STD that causes cervical cancer. I didn’t even read it, mainly because I’m fairly familiar with the vaccine and it’s controversy. I also avoid reading global emails that promote gloom, doom and despair.

One mother who had recently had her daughters given the vaccine was upset. She was completely unaware of issues surrounding it. I wonder how it is that I don’t watch the nightly news, read the daily newspaper, or listen to NPR or any talk radio, and I still know about stuff like this. And I wonder how other people can be completely oblivious to it.

I was irritated by the first global email, and this “reply all” was equally annoying. I offered up the 5 seconds it took me to delete it and went about my day. Then several other woman did their “reply all” rants about how vaccinating against cancer is good. Who can really argue against that? Cancer = Bad…No Cancer = Good. Pretty simple, right?

Nevertheless, I felt compelled to do my own “reply all” (surely upsetting everyone, like me, who can’t stand having strangers argue in my own personal inbox). I explained that the issue that seemed to be raised in the first email was not the vaccine itself but the government mandate. I explained that HPV is not a public health risk in the way that polio or small pox had been. I am opposed to government involvement in the minutiae of personal lives. Doctors can be forceful enough in demanding encouraging parents to do certain procedures; we don’t need the government to make it the law as well.

Of course, Merck knows well that doctors will only reach those potential customers whose parents actually bring them to the doctor every so often. There are legions of kids who might miss out on this chance to line Merck’s pockets, so Merck feels the need to lobby state congresses. By making it a state law, thousands of kids who might otherwise never have the opportunity to get stuck in the arm will now be ordered to do so.

Unfortunately, you don’t even need to lobby the state congress if your buddies are high enough up on the food chain:

By using an executive order that bypassed the Legislature, Republican Gov. Rick Perry — himself a conservative — on Friday avoided such opposition, making Texas the first state to mandate that schoolgirls get vaccinated against the virus.


That’s right, one man gets to unilaterally decide what’s best for all schoolgirls in Texas. Nice of him, huh? How about nice for him:

Perry has ties to Merck and Women in Government. One of the drug company’s three lobbyists in Texas is Mike Toomey, Perry’s former chief of staff. His current chief of staff’s mother-in-law, Texas Republican state Rep. Dianne White Delisi, is a state director for Women in Government.

The governor also received $6,000 from Merck’s political action committee during his re-election campaign.

A top official from Merck’s vaccine division sits on Women in Government’s business council, and many of the bills around the country have been introduced by members of Women in Government.

Merck is doing an excellent job of mucking the waters of what should be a crystal-clear issue: do we, the people, want laws and executive orders based on what is best for us, or what is best for large corporations? It is one thing to mandate that insurances cover the vaccine. It is one thing to mandate that the state pay for those who have no insurance. It is quite another to mandate that children receive it, especially when the public health is not at risk.

** UPDATE (3/1/07): For all you you have come here via a Google search, I’ve reiterated my main points in a newer post.

02.03.07
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I spy with my little eye…

These last photos I just posted were taken in front of the kitchen sink. I posted kitchen sink photos on the 28th as well. Interesting to note in the recent photo of just the girls is a martini glass. It’s clean and was used last night, NOT today. Really.

In the photo on the 28th, you may notice a dirty beer glass – a Guinness glass to be exact. Right in front of it is a corkscrew. I was making stew. I used red wine in the broth, and if you look carefully, you may notice the open bottle just peeking out from behind the bread maker to the left of the sink. And among the dirty dishes in the sink on the right is a stainless steel shaker – the kind for mixing drinks. We actually only used it to flatten beer used in the rye crescent roll recipe (that I messed up by forgetting the yeast! We had rye pita chips instead).

I think I’d better stop taking pictures of my sink area. I might start to think I have a drinking problem. Or maybe I should just start taking it straight from the bottle?