Back in April, I described an interview I had with a man regarding my neighbor who was seeking a high level security clearance. Did I know if he ever tried to overthrow the government? Does he have any foreign interests?

At the time, Bill was filling out a form for a similar clearance. A few days ago, Bill had a face-to-face interview with a woman who went over his form line by line and asked him about every single response.

You didn’t write your mother’s maiden name down? Why? Are you hiding something?

Oh, no, sorry. I guess I missed that line.

And then she wrote down that he claimed to have forgotten to fill that part in.

Why didn’t you write your wife’s address in this section?

It says to give the wife’s address if we are divorced or separated. We’re still married, and my wife lives with me.

You should have written N/A.

And then she wrote down that he felt the section didn’t apply to him.

This went on for one agonizing hour. Then she wanted to talk to somebody who has known him since he began working in the building. He called up to his buddy, Brian, with whom he worked for over a year. They shared a desk – literally sat inches away from each other. All phone conversations with my husband that year were three-way conferences by default.

Brian was interviewed in private, but shared some of the better questions with Bill afterward. Basically, they seemed the same as the ones I answered about my neighbor last spring. What makes this particularly amusing is the timing of certain questions.

Not this Saturday, but next, we’re having our Third Annual Oktoberfest. Brian attended last year’s party, and has already RSVP’s for the upcoming event. So far, I have 60 people marked as coming (half of them kids), but I expect more will be calling me over the next few days. Last year we had about 85 people.

The invitation this year, all my design – Bill had nothing to do with it, is full of quotes on the glory of drinking beer. I actually, personally, can’t stand the stuff, but it was a funny invitation. Bill suggested that it was too much about beer, so I added a post script: It’s not all about beer. We’ll have wine and schnapps, too. I thought that was even funnier.

For me, it’s all about the food. I’m making Sauerbraten, Hot Potato Salad, and Red Cabbage among other things. Since the vast bulk of our guests are military-types, many of whom have done tours in Germany, my yummy cooking is a big hit. But, honestly, so is the keg of Spaten beer.

And with full knowledge, as a past attendee, of the upcoming festivities, Brian is asked questions like: Does he ever throw parties? Does he ever drink?

Hmmm…